Please can someone who has lived with a positive case talk to me .

[Chaotic45]

DH tested positive via a lateral flow last Tuesday, regular test Wednesday which was positive.

Fairly mild symptoms so far- aches, chills, runny nose, big of a cough, lost sense of smell last night (Sunday).

Track and trace have asked us to all
Isolate until the end of Christmas Day.

DH has been isolating in our room since Tuesday. We share a bathroom but not a toilet. DC and I have been lucky to be provided with lateral flow tests which are so far negative (and I was allowed a regular test last weds which was also negative).

We have no intention of breaking the isolation rules whatsoever but I'm wondering about when to let DH out of the bedroom. He is really struggling with the confinement and it would be wonderful to have him join us in the house for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

I'm mindful that the isolation of ten days was technically started on weds when he took his regular test, but he actually tested positive the day before so that maybe takes things back one day?

Also I'm aware that until fairly recently the first person who actually tested positive in a household only had to isolate for seven days, rather than ten- so that's making me wonder if maybe he's ok to join us after seven days.

Having said all this I am really worried about catching it and I know I'm going to be worried about even looking in his direction despite loving him dearly and missing him being with us.

I've even asked him not to wrap my presents as I'm worried about him shedding virus onto them. Not that I give a fig about Christmas presents at this point!

Can anyone share how they navigated this?

I had it and did not isolate from my husband. We slept in the same bed etc. He had a test but it was negative .
I did ask track and trace (during one of their many calls) whether I would have to isolate again if my husband caught it from me. They said no and gave an example of how a family of 6 isolating, as one person had caught it, living in the same house. If every household member had to keep isolating as the next person caught it it would involve weeks of isolation.

@SandysMam ha yes very possibly! He's being well looked after food and drink wise, and he is definitely enjoying getting to know Netflix.

He's been sitting in the garden a few times each day, chatting to friends on the phone and playing online poker with me. He's even started to read a book.

@BlackCat91 that's interesting, track and trace said my husband would not have to reisolate if one of the rest of us caught it, but that all of the rest of us would have to start out isolation again.

So for example, if I test positive or have symptoms today then me abs all DC have to begin our 10 days again.

Another 10 day isolation would be a big issue for me wrt working, and caring responsibilities, but I accept it may be unavoidable.

Quite honestly if he's that ill that it would affect his ability to cook, he's not in any fit state to leave his bed.
He will have been contagious for several days before testing positive, there's a good chance you will get it anyway. Make your preparations accordingly, so that there is food easily available for DC etc.
Meanwhile, in our house, I got it badly enough to be in bed for about 4 weeks, Dh with asthma was only ill for a few days, DS with asthma felt ill enough to go to bed a bit early one night, but was fine the next day and the other two didn't realise they'd had it till their sense of smell altered dramatically. DH slept downstairs the first few nights but then he developed symptoms, and we kept away from the boys ( separate bathrooms plus they are adult) but we'd already been mixing before I got ill.

I had it back in May. Didn't think it was covind due to only feeling weak and having loss of taste/smell and that wasn't a known symptom at that point. Only found out when got worse over coming days and was admitted to hospital. 8yo dd with weak immune system was sleeping in my bed with me and didn't get it neither did any other family member or work colleague

@Superstardjs

I'm not sure what the point of your op is then - you ask if you can 'let' your DH out, then try to justify why you shouldn't. As you put above, everyone must do what is right for them. I think locking a family member away for 10 days and making them miss Christmas is fucking insane, but if that is right for you, crack on.

This^

Yeah @Superstardjs because Christmas will be so much fun for everyone if the OP and the kids get sick too.

Chaotic45 - it is a minefield and appears to depend on who you speak to at T and T or not as the case maybe! My sister caught covid, she is a nurse, and 7 days into her isolation her husband had a positive test. Thinking nothing of it he added her to his T and T contacts list, and she then received a text to say she had to isolate for 14 days! Neither of them received a call from T and T so they could not query the text. She tried emailing the T and T but got no reply. Her hospital said it was incorrect information but they could not go against T and T. As I understand it senior nursing management tried to sort it out but failed. So she had to isolate for the additional 14 days. 🙄

DH had it.

He was OK about staying in one bedroom, sleeping, listening to music, reading.

I left trays of food, drinks etc outside his door.

I think it is worth maintaining the isolation period. No one knows if they will be the unlucky minority who get serious breathing issues or 'long covid' - which is truly grim.

He used the kitchen about once a day to make his own cup of tea, but not when we were in there.

We shared a bathroom but had wipes for the door handles, taps, flush etc.

No other member of the family caught it.

I caught it at work. My partner and I did not isolate from each other (we live in a small flat so couldn’t even if we wanted to) but honestly the very idea is madness. He tested positive a few days after me - we are both fine and on our way to recovery after an extremely mild illness.

My cousin had it quite badly, two kids tested positive but no real symptoms and his wife was negative. They didn’t isolate from each other.

I don’t know why so many people have said he doesn’t need to isolate within the house. Government advice is that you do so good on you for following.

I don’t know the answer to your question but good luck with it all x

When me and DS had it we continued mixing as a family. I attempted separate hand towels, banishing DH to the sofa etc but we gave up pretty quickly as it just wasn’t workable to stay out of everyone’s way. DD and DH never got sick (although could have been asymptomatic).

@Chaotic45 you have done the right by thing, if DH or I have it then we will isolate from each other, in fact we did so whilst waiting for test results last week. We isolate from each other other if we get D&V too, so just something we do. It is also governments advice to do so. I would count ties as his first day so would think xmas eve would be fine xx

I'm quite surprised so many of you would be happy to carry on regardless. If I get it I certainly won't be pouting at having to isolate from my family. I wouldn't want anyone else to get it.

Me and DC1 got it. He caught it at school and i caught it from him before his symptoms started showing. Me and DC1 isolated from DP and DC2 (as best as we could in a small house) DP and DC2 didn't catch it.

there is a more infectious variant around now, jury still out on whether it is more serious and anyone willing to self isolate should be encouraged to do so.he NHS staff who would care for you if you got sick enough to be admitted may be working Christmas Day and having "Christmas" some other day. It wouldnt kill you to have Christmas a day late.

Thank you for the thoughts. I'm
glad DH and I am not alone in feeling this is the best approach for us.

Track and trace messages and NHS advice were also very clear that, if practical, anyone who tests positive should isolate from the rest of the household.

Of course people must do what works for them but I'm not sure some of the replies which have said that this is ridiculous, or cruel, or that I've alienated DH are fair. It is his decision as much as mine.

If DC and I escape without catching it (day 7 today and all negative so far) we will avoid feeling unwell over Christmas, I can get back to work as planned and not let my customers down and pay the bills, and I can resume caring for my Ddad, and take him to hospital if his two cancelled operations are rearranged anytime soon. Fingers crossed.

DH had it. We completely isolated. He went into the garden once a day for lunch after the first week. First week he couldn’t even get out of bed. He had temperatures on & off for 3 weeks & 3 lots of antibiotics. He’s been left with long covid & heart problems. He was perfectly healthy before. I’m on immunosuppressants. I didn’t get it luckily. But I’d have been screwed if I did. Of course you isolate I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t. No one knows how this will affect you. A mum at dcs school died of it. Why take unnecessary risks?

I'm glad there are lots of family members who didn't get it but to offer a flipside, my work colleague got it and isolated in her bedroom, only leaving for toilet breaks. Even going to the extent of face timing her kid. Her husband and 2 children still got it. All were quite ill.

I don't know why you've got so much shit here Op. I've asked my 18 year old dd to isolate in her room too. Dh is 58 and I am 52 (and rather overweight) and it's by no means certain they it would be a minor illness for us.

She's been isolating since Friday (she had her test then and result on Saturday). Whilst not ideal I don't think it's particularly cruel (and hundreds of Uni freshers had to do just this, miles from home) - I've paid for an audible subscription on her request and her Uncle dropped off a load of craft supplies. Also making her favourite food. She's got a stash of cannabis to lighten the mood, and when fed up she sits in the summer house in the garden with the heater on. She's a bit fed up but in reasonable spirits - and at least our self isolation won't be extended because one of us falls ill

Going back to your question, my dd's isolation technically ends on the 26th but we're bringing it forward a day so that she can have a proper Christmas with us. She's pretty much symptom free already so I can't imagine she will be shedding virus in significant amounts by then. We will crack a window in the sitting room though and be careful about distancing

@MotheringShites

Are you CEV?

I would have to be at serious risk to even consider imprisoning one of my family members in one room for days on end and on Christmas Day?!! Sheesh, we’ve taken leave of our senses.

That’s pretty uncalled for... you have no idea of her situation, why guilt trip someone just because their actions are different from yours? Just nastiness for the sake of it.

I think you would have got it by now as he is on day 7. DH was planning to stay in the spare room for two weeks as well. However, it took us all down within one day last week. Maybe we have this new strain.

Hope your DH gets well soon OP and you stay negative and have a good Christmas.

My DH and I tested positive on Friday - 2 x DS 22 &23 isolating with us both tested negative. We mingle but sanitise, clean etc after we touch anything. It’s bad enough without being confined to our room - we are released on 28/12

People are insane. Why are you isolating in your own house?!

We had it this month. Appeared to start with me, followed by 9 month old & then OH. DD3 no symptoms at all. Felt very ropey for 3/4 days. Otherwise very mild. As usual, most nights ended with 4 of us piled into one bed. We obviously isolated at home but I’d not dream of isolating from each other unless one of us was vulnerable.

Mind you, perhaps I should have insisted on isolating when I first tested positive. I’d have loved a few days in bed child free 😂