Being made to feel bad for doing the right thing

[Santastealer]

My child has been coughing all night. He has a cold. I’m 99% sure it’s a post nasal drip causing the cough, but he has relentlessly coughed all night and for an hour this morning.

I’ve taken him for a test this morning and am being made to feel like I’ve totally done the wrong thing.

I’m getting “it will be inconclusive and you will have to redo it later in the week meaning you miss Xmas” (probably true as he screamed the place down and wouldn’t let me swab him properly). “You will be waiting for days for results and he will miss out on things”. My DH is worrying about missing work and my parents are worrying as they looked after him for an hour on Friday and they don’t want to have to isolate.

The best line I’ve been given yet is “what if he is positive and then you are stuck at home for ages and miss Christmas”! I’m thinking thank goodness I have tested him and stopped him spreading it if this is the case!

Would you have tested a young child with an obvious cold if they started coughing significantly? I’m double thinking it now and doubting myself.

I think you've done the right thing.

I did test my two year old earlier this week (and got a negative result within 20 hours, much to my surprise) with very similar symptoms and absolutely I think it was the right thing to do - we now can't see family at all but we thought then we could so I couldn't have let him mingle untested, or for DH to go to his work (a school!) and spread it if it did turn out to be coronavirus.

It's tough because most people tested don't have coronavirus and so it does feel like a bit of a waste of time. We had to have DS tested in the summer for the same reason and the results were much slower so he was completely well by the time the negative result came and part of me did think 'why have I confined us all to the house for this?!'. But you know it's the right thing to do and anyway you have done it now - my understanding is you're legally obliged to isolate until the result, so there's no point anyone, including your DH, moaning about it.

You’ve absolutely done the right thing OP.

Not sure who you mention is complaining to you about getting him tested - but yes you have done the right thing, 100%. Anyone who says otherwise really is being selfish. The only way to stop the virus is for people to test, and isolate, and follow the rules.

You did the right thing. If you could tell someone had it without testing, what's the point of testing? And wouldn't you be keeping him away from others anyway, just in case?

Thank you.

I know 99% it’s just a cold. But I couldn’t take the risk and let him go to nursery this week, or mix with my family on Xmas day, without ruling out COVID.

I know it’s really frustrating, I’m annoyed at having to do it too, but I just felt it was the right thing to do.

Feel proud as a dm you had the balls to make the best decision for your dc and others.
Does dh often shove his head in the sand?. I would be annoyed he is risking others for the sake of his happy Xmas...

I think you've absolutely done the right thing, especially if he was due to go to nursery or mix with family members.

@Musicalmistress I would have probably kept him off nursery anyway as no-one wants to catch a stinking cold so close to Xmas.

My DH isn’t even that bothered about Xmas, he just likes stick his head in the sand about lots of things and is worried about missing work while we wait for the results.

I took my DS for a test this week with exactly the same circumstances. Cough caused by a cold. You have to rule it out.
Why would it come back inconclusive? We got a negative result.
You did the right thing

it is really hard to do the right thing sometimes, especially when there might be a lot of missing out, but much better than passing it on to someone.