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Family not social distancing, I'm higher risk.

6 replies

CharityEscapeGoat · 19/12/2020 12:57

I've had several messages from family members saying that they'd like DD to stay with her cousins over the Christmas period, which we would have agreed to, except we already have plans with PILs for the day they suggested. Plans can't be moved due to PILs other commitments, & my family don't have any other free time.

They've now suggested they come over before the start of Christmas lifting of restrictions. They're in tier 3, we're not. And it's quite a journey. We're in a very small house, insufficient seating for all the adults, let alone any of the DC, of which there are 4. Not enough room for 4 DC to play on the floor as 1 is a toddler so 3 of them will have to sit still for the entire visit. DD is autistic so this is literally not possible, she will probably have a meltdown.

I've questioned the tier 3 thing & basically been told that they know better than us. I'm disabled, DH is my carer. If either of us caught the virus, especially if we got long covid, it would be a disaster, I can't manage on my own, let alone DD. Obviously there's a constant risk but we don't want to increase the risk. I have brittle asthma amongst other things. Apparently they've already had the virus very recently but not the kids... no idea if they're asymptomatic carriers though.

I don't know what to do as every time I reply they just come back with another response. DD does really miss her cousins & would love to see them, which is a big part of why I'm finding it so hard to say no. She's been very sad & lonely at times during lockdown, & I know her cousins miss her too.

OP posts:
Orangeblossom77777 · 19/12/2020 13:00

Just say no. Yes that is the problem with explaining as they can find a way round it. You could always say isolating due to a test in a bubble or something.

Dryshampooandcoffee · 19/12/2020 13:02

If you don’t feel comfortable please just say no. Make an excuse if you have to, pretend you already have plans. They shouldn’t be pressuring you into breaking the rules like this.

middleager · 19/12/2020 13:05

A firm no will do. No explanation. You've tried to be fair and been dismissed, so now, it's just a no.

HotSince63 · 19/12/2020 13:05

"I'm high risk, we are not seeing anyone over the Christmas period".

Rinse and repeat. Don't make excuses, giving excuses invites a comeback with some way of working around them.

Simple keep texting the above message. They'll get bored soon enough.

Porcupineinwaiting · 19/12/2020 13:05

Could you see PiL and dd go to her cousins? Not ideal but these are not ideal times.

CharityEscapeGoat · 19/12/2020 13:19

@Porcupineinwaiting - haha no. PILs are mostly coming over to see DD. I always make an effort with MIL, FIL is mostly lovely but MIL openly ignores me most of the time. She's unpleasant to DH, narcissistic & has zero boundaries. DH & I both feel that we are largely redundant now we've produced a DGD for her. She wanted a DD, but only had sons.

I think we will just have to go with the "I'm high risk" strategy. Thankfully, as MIL is also chronically ill, they've also been isolating except for FIL's fortnightly grocery trips, so the risk from them really is negligible. They're probably at most risk from us, with DD being at school.

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