What is a safe Christmas?

[ilkleymoorbartat]

So obviously I'm reassessing our plans give. The governments (or more accurately the scientists) grim warnings about Christmas.

Our original plan was to see my parents (Hugh risk mum) on Christmas Eve for the day. We have 2 primary aged kids so would be extra vigilant about what we do in the next week.

We would then have dh parents to stay for 2 nights from Christmas Eve.

What I don't get is, as a responsible citizen, should we now be cancelling Christmas? Or cancelling one of those Christmas arrangements?

I realise the safest thing would be to cancel everything. But is that what we should do?

In a nutshell yes. Don't mix with anyone, that's the safest thing you can do.

Safest Christmas this year is one with only your household. They’ve been pretty clear about this over the last few days. No overnights and definitely no meeting with anyone high risk.

‘Safe’ is a word I hope to never hear again!

Safest is see nobody at all inside who doesn't live with you. Not easy and not what most people want to do. I have cancelled all plans but I live with my mother so it is easy for me to say that. Is there any way you can see them outside for a walk instead? Or if your Mum has been isolating she could come and stay with you if you haven't been out at all for the 10 days preceeding. If so then your in laws could come to yours if they had isolated too.

Compromise by meeting for a countryside walk, maintaining social distancing. All bring your own flask of coffee or mulled wine and some mince pies.

This is how we plan to see my parents (DF is v. high risk) and I think it should be pretty safe.

Have Christmas with your household only. It's just one day, one lunch. Better to sacrifice it and have many more Christmases in the future than risk this being the last one. Yes it will be a shit day but if you've sheltered from vulnerable relatives since March why risk it? We're setting a date in the future (25th March) and aiming for that for our "Christmas"

We were going to have my over 70
Year old parents stay for 4 days but not going to now !! We have actually been tested today and will get a test on Tuesday (paid) my mum has had my children every day since they were 8 months old whilst I worked and she is getting very depressed like my dad so I have to weigh it up it is hard

My parents are coming over Xmas day but will leave it at that .... we are also isolating so would be inside from yesterday

@EckhartLolly

In a nutshell yes. Don't mix with anyone, that's the safest thing you can do.

you forgot 'EVER AGAIN'

But why on earth are they not just cancelling it then? It seems so strange to leave it open to interpretation so much.

@ilkleymoorbartat

But why on earth are they not just cancelling it then? It seems so strange to leave it open to interpretation so much.

Why don’t you just do what you know makes sense and poses the least risk to your families?

Yes, Unfortunately the safest way is not to mix apart from outside e.g walks, limit visit to shops, try to shop at unpopular hours and without children, don’t give homemade food as a present, wash hands after opening cards and presents.
It’s tough. The thought of DD sticking to me for another 2 weeks in this weather is unbearable. She had additional needs and her anxiety and sleep problems are much worse since Covid but I really want us all to be safe now we went so far, so the plan is “bake, eat, sleep, repeat“ only with your own household. It will be my safe Christmas.

Risk assess. We're not cancelling Christmas, but that's our own circumstances. We're high risk because of meds, but with isolation etc the risk is minimal. I'm happy to take that very, very minimal risk as are my family. It's up to you, all circumstances are different.

@ilkleymoorbartat

But why on earth are they not just cancelling it then? It seems so strange to leave it open to interpretation so much.

Because people are people and not robots. You don't need instructions on every little detail. Use your brain and decide what is best.

And money. Shops have struggled, the economy will have a boost.

I booked Xmas shopping click and collect slot back in November. We are not seeing my parents who live too far away for a country walk (seen mum once in July before we went into tier 3 end of July, not seen Dad for a year). My DH is visiting his mum (1.5 hours away) next week to drop off presents and sit outside their house for half an hour with a cup of tea.
We will be just me, him and the kids for the holidays this year. With vaccinations hopefully not far off it seems a silly risk to take. We have waited this long we can wait another month or two.

Homemade food is not necessarily any different to buying a takeaway or precooked food from a shop is it?

Well, the safest thing from Covid would be to not meet anyone at all.

But is there someone who is hardly coping with the last months and just holding on until they get to see you at Christmas? To cancel would not be very safe for their mental health. How would you feel about dashing their hopes?

It's a balance between our human needs to have face to face contact with people we love and our need not to catch a disease that can be nasty. You all need to consider your physical and mental circumstances and try to work out the best way to deal with them.

If you do see everyone it makes sense to see the more vulnerable person first. Try not to sit too close together. Have a window open if you can or at least open it for a while from time to time. Maybe have throws available and/or splurge the cost of having heating on and an open window just for a while. Keep the visit shortish while making it worthwhile. Or go out for a walk if you can.

And all the surface stuff: handwashing, food, including sauces, served onto plates. Don't all touch one serving spoon or put your hands into the choccy tin - let people choose then one person serves. One person pours the drinks. No water jug. Try not to all handle the cruets. Either everyone puts their own plates and cutlery straight into the dishwasher or one person gathers all the used stuff and washes it with careful handwashing. Etc, etc.

Then you know you've done your best and you've given someone a much-needed psychological boost. Which can help them fight infection should you be unlucky.

Have bought every single gift online this year too. Means we won't get anything from the kids as we usually take them to our local shopping centre for their Xmas shopping over this coming weekend (as school breaks up). But don't care about that, we have plenty.

I can only guess that the government decided to say mixing was allowed because they knew a proportion of people would be mixing anyway.

Or, the government could have the guts to say, we are really sorry no mixing at Christmas. Certain exclusions would have to apply as they do now, carers, MH end of life etc. It will be awful in January we are so close bit it will all be wasted. At least Bojo saved Christmas eh?

If you are in here asking what's a safe Christmas then you're either seeking validation or stupid.

Ignore dumb government advice.

Stick to your household bubbles.

Or ignore it and know you contributed to the third lockdown: kids missing out on vital education, people losing money.

But hey. You had dinner together, so it's ok.

I know. My in-laws decided to have an intergenerational cross country get together because they were allowed. It's hard for me to fathom. But they feel justified.

I'm spending it alone. ECV and still shielding. My dad is bringing me food on Christmas Day so I can briefly see him. By see him, I mean outside for 5 mins at a distance
I have one person i see so a bubble who is anti social and spends most of their time walking the dogs and avoids shops so that's as low risk as I can make it without going completely insane
Sobbed down the phone to my boss a few weeks ago as I think it had all got a bit too much, 9 months pretty much alone

@stellaris22 this attitude is really grating. We've isolated for a fortnight to have dinner together. What gives you the right to say that isn't safe? Far safer than going to a pub or cafe or spending an hour in a crammed supermarket, or have I got that wrong?