I know I’m being silly

[RollyPollyPudding]

And I know quite a few posters will point that out to me.,but I am not thinking clearly nowadays (unsurprisingly) I need to go to another organisation tomorrow to collect some IT equipment, I will be wearing a mask and will take every precaution. From what I understand I need to go in wait in the reception area, an engineer will bring the equipment down and make sure all the relevant functions are working and hand it to me- the duration would be about 15-20 mins if everything goes as per plan- I understand from my colleagues that this organisation is not enforcing the mask wearing rule therefore most staff don’t
Which means that the engineer is sharing an office with others who are not wearing masks.
I was in the phone to one last week to organise this and I could very clearly hear him speak to another team member and there is no way they were maintaining social distancing if I could hear through the phone

Given this and that my town has gone into Tier 3 from Tier 2 with a rapidly rising case numbers I’m thinking of not going tomorrow. It’s one thing coming back home with IT equipment it’s another if I come back with COVID.

Am I being silly?

You need to start preparing yourself for a normal life again or you are going to really struggle. I don't know anybody including shielders that are as anxious as you are.

Which country are you in? What mask wearing rule? I've been in the office since September and no mask wearing requirements at all. (England)

Stop seeing people as disease ridden vectors otherwise you will surely send yourself mad during January.

If you have no health issues, even if you catch it, you'll mostly likely be a bit ill but be totally fine. Unfortunately you can't stay scared of the world. Wear a mask, keep your distance. It'll be fine.

Thank you for taking the time to respond- there has been a local case confirmed in our office. All mask wearing social distances but there you go.
I cancelled and rescheduled to Jan, we are expected to come back into work in Jan anyways. If I am to get this and possibly die then atleast i can have the next two weeks with my daughter instead of exposing myself now and being ill next week..
I know it can be mild but I also know of healthy people with no underlying conditions who were blue lighted to the hospital. It’s luck of the draw and I haven’t been that lucky a person thus far in life!

I’m mentally preparing myself for the worst in Jan was not prepared for this in Dec hence the confusion

you are not thinking rationally OP, can you get a GP appointment before Jan and tell them how anxious you are.

@BeakyWinder I have self referred to CBT therapy but to be honest not sure how much it’s helping

In some strange way knowing that I’m prepared to face whatever will be next month has helped, I’m getting as much as my life in order and looking to spend time with my daughter. After that if Jan is the end of the road for me then so be it...

Do you really believe you only have weeks to live?

[quote RollyPollyPudding]@BeakyWinder I have self referred to CBT therapy but to be honest not sure how much it’s helping

In some strange way knowing that I’m prepared to face whatever will be next month has helped, I’m getting as much as my life in order and looking to spend time with my daughter. After that if Jan is the end of the road for me then so be it...[/quote]
You're very unlikely to die in January! What is it that's making you believe you will die if you catch covid, are you usually healthy? I hope you're ok op you sound very distressed xx

OP I mean this kindly, please please seek help for your anxiety. It's not rational or proportionate.

@BeakyWinder

Do you really believe you only have weeks to live?

In someways yes- I do believe that. I catch every respiratory illness going in winter- I don’t I will escape this My vitamin d levels are low. I’m taking supplements but it will take months to build up, I would like to have the next two weeks with my daughter

@PinkFondantFancy I am - but not sure cbt is helping

There are so many posts in mumsnet with titles such as ‘tested positive so scared’, if these are healthy individuals (most are going by the posts) why are they scared? I think mist are scared of the outcome but don’t admit to it...
Stats are one thing but there are anomalies

Sorry not trying to be argumentative but trying to explain...

You need to see this as a mental challenge you need to overcome and just do it. Just make yourself do it.

Take sensible precautions that you feel are necessary, but this terrible overriding anxiety is disproportionate

You are seriously overreacting on an epic scale! Go in, sort your computer out and go home. That's it.

Simple.

@SpnBaby1967 yes simple when you are not having a battle with your thoughts not simple when that’s not the case

@HesterShaw1 yes that’s what I am trying to do ...I’m planning to go to the library tomorrow- I love reading so that should push me to do it..the prospect of being surrounded by books...

@RollyPollyPudding Good move - I hope it goes well. Let us know how you get on.

There is nothing as lovely as a real, tangible book

I find if thoughts threaten to paralyse me is to turn into an automaton, to some extent. Don't think, don't try - just do. As Yoda kind of said!

Thank you @HesterShaw1 - I think I should adopt that as my motto

coronavirus.data.gov.uk

You can check the borough, area you are in or going to here

You’ll probably find that cases are so low that it would be actually very difficult to actively try to catch it.

@hamstersarse thank you that’s useful