Gifts from the Pandemic

[TheClitterati]

2020 has been an utterly shit year no doubt. Everyone's lives have been affected in so many ways. The deaths, the illness, the political and economic repercussions - on and on the bad news rumbles and we struggle on in the big unknown. Can you believe it's nearly an entire year since the news reports started coming out of China, and life changed beyond recognition?

But not all change has been negative, and some of these changes have been surprisingly for the better. So I'd like to have a thread to talk about the gifts, the postive changes in our lifes bought about by covid 19 pandemic.

For me its swimming in the sea. We live by the coast and though I've always loved swimming (in pools, or the Med) I very rarely swam in UK sea (way too cold even in summer). The kids might get me in the sea a couple of times in high summer, but otherwise I wasn't going in.

We started swimming in the sea in May - led by my kids. When they were being home schooled, and I was WFH, we swam most days. As soon as someone started getting scratchy I'd declare "time for beach" and off we would go. It was something we did together, it was fun, we laughed and it really brought us closer. We would swim, eat lunch on the beach and come home. It was a huge reset button for us all. After every swim we were cleansed, body, mind and soul, and came home feeling much jollier and less stressed (especially important for my anxious stressed 9yo).

I started out being very slow to go in - I was a total wimp/dawdler/would go half in, come out, some days it could take ages for me to get in and the DC would laugh and me and challenge me to get in faster.

When the DC went back to school I started going for a swim after school drop off. By now I had become acclimatised to the (summer) cold water and I could stride straight into the water like a boss. Swimming without the DC was completely different experience. I no longer had to keep an eye on DC in the water, and I became free to enjoy the sea in my own right. I swam out deeper, swam more (rather than played with Dc), met lots of other adults who were swimming and developed friendships and personal connections (all outdoors and socially distanced).

For me being cut off from pretty much all adult company (I'm SP, no family in UK), and living in a farily new town (moved here knowing no one), the swimming beach connections have been vital through 2020. And the post swim physical sensation of wellness and vitality is unbeatable.

The positive impact of these regular swims, getting outdoors, being on the beach, on my & the DC's mental health has been immense. I can't over state how important these swims became to all of us.

And now it is December and I am still swimming 4-5 times a week. The DC have stopped - too cold for them - on the weekends they run amok on the ebach while I swim. Now I am the bad ass swimmer, half woman half seal I joke. I LOVE the cold water. I hope to keep going through the winter. Many others across the UK and the world have turned to the sea, lakes, rivers, swimming regularly, laughing and smiling and feeling utterly wonderful for it, so I know my experience isn't unique.

I do think of this as a gift from the pandemic - I don't think I would have made this massive change in my life without it.

So what are your gifts - big or small - from the pandemic of 2020?

@Bigoldmachine

Loved reading your post OP. It made me want to do a running jump into the sea... it would be a long run though (we’re in the Midlands!)

Gifts from the pandemic for me...

• a new baby without an endless stream of visitors or any pressure to keep the house clean. I really really relished my time alone with the new baby
• kind of related to that, i succeeded in being able to exclusively breastfeed this baby (I hadn’t with the first and really wanted to this time). Being shut up at home genuinely helped with that!
• a deep deep gratitude for my lovely little family and my home. Realising I have everything I would wish for (the really important things anyway)
• have got to know a lot more people in the village as everyone has been going on local walks so you do “bump into” (at 2metres apart!) lots of the same local faces which is really nice

love this - the gift of space and quiet.

@Rollercoaster1920

There have been a few for me: The peace in lockdown 1, no planes, very little traffic, just people on their daily walk. Was amazing! Paddling in a local river with the children. I doubt we'd have done it any other year, but it was hot, we could cycle there, and nothing was open. I loved the simple pleasure. Seeing town centre Christmas lights without crowds. And best of all: no birthday parties this year, so the toy mountain hasn't grown. I love the parties, but the waste of presents and party bag stuff drives me mad. The kids have survived without.

The gift of not having to deal with gifts! (I'm a bit of a "please don't give me physical objects" kind of person so I get this).

bliss!

I am looking for a local river to perhaps swim in .....

I got to spend most of my pregnancy at home so managed to work on days that if I had to go to the office I might have called in sick.
I d give it all back though if I d have gotten a better labour and postnatal hospital experience as I m left with some unpleasant memories I m working on coming to terms with.

Back in October I had an unconfident, anxious 8yo. She had to be Peele off me every morning by her teacher. She thought she couldn't do anything.
I now have a 9yo who is still quiet... But has a strong friendship group, believes I herself, and is definitely more confident. She accepts her academic struggles, but shows she can do other stuff... Like bake cakes, camping skills, and is on her way to being a great Cubs Sixer (after never saying a word there before).
Lockdown was a gift to her. A few months away from the pressure of constant comparison with her peer group made her believe in herself. And made her ready to go back to school in September

I love your post OP. Cold water swimming is so good for us; mental health, our immune systems. I’m jealous you live by the sea. We have a lake here and it was one of the few thing we could do in May, open water swimming. Miss it now it’s shut. I’m eyeing up the Thames!! But not the same as the sea.

Personally running has been by saviour and I’ve managed to get out a lot more that normal and I’ve run 3 half marathons. Haven’t been ill in nearly a year so not had to stop and I feel fitter than ever.

We lost our dog in July. She was 16 and it was her time, she had a wonderful life but it was starting to get difficult for her; she was losing her sight and hearing and her back legs were going so she couldn't get up and down the stairs to the garden by herself.

She would sometimes get a little disorientated and distressed if I left the room and start trying to find me in the house, I really began to worry about leaving her when I was working.

I will be forever grateful that for the last few months of her life she had her family around her all day every day. That time was definitely a gift for me.

I needed to hear this tonight, thanks OP.

In March I’d not long returned from mat leave so I got to spend my days WFH with my 19mo DS. DH and I have had all this extra time with him. It’s been bloody hard work juggling childcare and work. The guilt of putting on films to distract when I have a meeting was killing me some days and the worry over his social development etc. But I appreciate how lucky we’ve been to have the opportunity to do it.

I’ve also got to know my lovely neighbours. We live in a small cul de sac but I only knew my immediate neighbours. At the start of the first lockdown a neighbour put a note through the door with the phone number of local companies delivering fruit and veg. We also had a socially distanced VE Day celebration in the street. We all sat outside our houses and we had bingo cards posted through the door and prizes left on the doorstep afterwards for the winners.

I’ve also tried to give back more. I grew out my hair and had it all cut at the end of summer donated it to a charity who make wigs for child cancer patients. For Christmas I found that a women’s refuge has an Amazon wish list so I bought some presents for children to be sent to them. I know this is only a small thing but I’m going to make an effort to keep this up next year.

What a wonderful post OP

Not quite what you were looking for but the greatest gift this year was my son. No he wasn't a result of the pandemic but was born in July and changed my world. My pregnancy was difficult and I spent a lot of time in hospital on my own. I'm not angry about it instead I think about how strong it's made me. The pandemic made me realise I'm stronger than I think. For me 2020 will always be the best year of my life . I've been blessed that my husband had worked from home since and he's been there for all the moments with our boy

On a slightly different note the pandemic brought me a sense of community . Being home means taking lots of dog walks which means I've met so many new neighbours. I know the delivery drivers , I know the postman. I feel a real sense of community and belonging to where I live now that wasn't there before and it feels wonderful!

There’s been loads of good stuff. I have fond memories of sitting in the park local to my work place on lunch breaks as the weather was so glorious. Lovely times walking with my daughter on days off - our hour a day.
Birdsong, getting up at 5am and listening to the dawn chorus before heading off to work.
Evening walks.
So much good stuff

Running!! 100km a month. I am very slow and only ran on Saturdays at Parkrun before, but I have discovered so many lovely places to run around my house that I didn’t even know existed! And being outside more - turns out I love fresh air!!

Like the OP, I’ve also started swimming outdoors. Not the sea, the nearest coast is probably 70 miles away. Lakes, rivers, reservoirs. All glorious.

For me the bonus has been time with Dd1 like a PP. She was at the start of an anxiety diagnosis early this year, eventually diagnosed with OCD and possible ASD. She's nearly 17. This year has given us time to work with and around her diagnosis, and given her time to learn coping mechanisms without the pressure of everyday life. She's now at college and doing so much better. That is worth the world to me. Time with Dd2 and DS has been wonderful too.

On an additional note I've realised eventual retirement with DH won't be awful as I still rather like him.

We got a dog just before lockdown.

I'm walking nearly everyday. Loads of lovely spaces I hadn't even known were around me.

Being outside, even in the rain revitalises me. It's nice being away from everything except my dog and just being in the woods. I love it. No screens. No music, no phone calls.

I like walking round daydreaming and messing about with the dog.

He is such a good dog and this time with him has helped him develop into such a good boy. I didn't really know how to train him for recall but he just comes when I call him and he stays by my side even off lead.

I walk my stepbrother's dog three times a week.
To be honest, she has saved me. She has the sweetest, gentlest nature of any dog I've ever known and even on my lowest days she always makes me smile. I couldn't have got through this year without her.

Outdoor swimmers can never shut up about outdoor swimming. Says me.

Most of my adult life has been spent living a lifestyle not unlike lockdown due to health problems. Seeing everyone's response to living what is my normal life has at times been upsetting but has also given me the validation to say to myself "this is not ok" and so am making changes where possible. For example, moving somewhere that I have outdoor space so that even on bad days I can get fresh air and some sun (when it is out!)

I've also had a reassessment of a few relationships in my life and made some positive adjustments there which is a weight off my shoulders.

OP, putting my hand under cold tap water for a second puts me in a bad mood so you must be made of stronger stuff than I

@LopsidedWombat a very dear lifelong friend of mine died last year. She had lived a very isolated solitary life for many years for health/medical reasons. I've often thought how she would have been the perfect guide and coach for so many of us through the pandemic - in my mind she is "Our Fearless Leader".

Once you get used to the cold water its like the universe is hugging you. It nice to find something my body seems to be built for - after all these years.

@BikeRunSki I'm looking into booking some camping sites in 2021 and I'm researching what lakes & rivers are nearby. I'd love to experience lake & river swimming - so many swimmers on the FB Slow Swimming group are in lakes/rivers. I think fresh water is even colder than the sea.

@Delatron closing lakes for "the season" what is wrong with people? I think the Thames is very dangerous to swim in as its so tidal? There should be some river pool areas built in at various places. The Serpentine stays open all year I think. What about Ruislip Lido or do they close that for winter too? Good luck finding somewhere. I used to really enjoy swimming @ Hampton Pool all year round, but only because it was heated.

@ChilliMum sorry about the loss of your dear dog, but absolutely wonderful you go that extra time together.

@1990shopefulftm congratulations and best of luck in finding a way to heal from those painful events.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves @WithASpider my anxious stressed 9yo also benefitted from being at home for some time. Though the schooling part was super difficult for her and I. But she does seems to be much more confident in herself now - most days anyway.

@MrsLeclerc & @LJC1234 I totally get your joy at simply having the time with your new baby/young toddler. When my first child was born I took myself away from UK and stayed with the baby on a tiny remote island, with no shops, electricity, or even running water at times, and very few people - I effectively removed us from society for 3 months. People were aghast that I would choose to do something like this - its seemed so radical to them. But I was in a place I knew and felt very comfortable in so it wasn't radical to me at all. To have this time where it was just me, baby, books, time, day after day, plus sea swimming every day too (but not in cold water) - well it was truly the most incredible time in my life. We too often fill our lives with so much - to be given moments when we can strip everything away and just focus on what we really want to do, well its incredible really.

@sashagabadon what is this dawn you speak of? I really am a lay about in the mornings. I have been thinking for a while about trying to go to bed/get up earlier in 2021. On the solstice next week I will swim at dawn, though I acknowledge its much easier for me to do this in winter than summer. Cold water I can handle, getting up for dawn mid summer - much more tricky.

@nancybotwinbloom @kittensarecute ah the dog love! My friend befriends and eventually walks nearly every dog she meets in our town. Its absolutely helped her keep things together through this mess.

@Teenagetrials I did the C25K a few years ago much to my astonishment I completely love it. But I have legacy ankle/knee injuries that made things difficult. The cold water has really helped with these injuries and I'm now contemplating doing C25K again - there is something so enjoyable about jogging (I'm not sure I ever really "ran" and once a man with his leg in a cast passed me when I was "jogging"). I've been watching Virgin River on Netflix and every time I see Mel running in nature I (admittedly from my horizontal position on sofa) feel a strong sense of how wonderful it would be to jog on a woodland trail. Bliss.

So many of these gifts are about personal rediscoveries brought about by space and time being forced into our lives.

My dd has also taken up sea swimming and paddle boarding
It’s made a huge difference to her life

@TheClitterati thank you, I m getting there slowly :)

My dd is also a home Edder which I’m thankful to say has been continuing with other home edders.

@TheClitterati

The last couple of weeks I've started to feel more ground down than I have all year. I'm tired of it all and I want a big whine, and for it all to be over! Nothing unuslay about that. I don't usually indulge these whims, but I've really bloody had enough and looking forward to some time off work.

If I wasn't swimming I think I would be dreadfully unhappy.

Yes there are many women swimming on my beach. I would say about 70% of the swimmers I see regularly are women. Of all ages too from early 20's through to 70's and possibly older.

Its great to have these postiives to grab hold of and shape our days a bit.

@kittensarecute hoping your gift is still to come. Do you have kittens> do they not count?

We got 2 kittens a few months ago and they are another wonderful part of our lives right now. My more anxious DD has been adported by one of the kittens - he rarely elaves her side when she is hope. I'm so happy for DD - he makes a big difference to her days. We are all enjoying the different energy of having cats in the house. When I want a whine, I cuddle a kitten.

Don’t out yourself but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you’re in our neck of the woods

My eldest DD is really keen to try paddleboarding. There is a center close to us where she can try it out - I will look into it once the weather warms up. Quiet a few of the people I have met through swimming are also paddleboarders, like your daughter. Are you tempted to try it yourself?
I can't imagine being balanced enough

I've held onto this NN for quite some time - after being a serial changer for years. I've probably outed myself many times over

@TheClitterati Yes it’s frustrating the lake closes. It’s privately owned (we pay £5 to swim) so I think it’s just too quiet. You’re right about The Thames being dangerous. There’s an Open water swim group here that are experienced and go out in groups . They know where is safe but never swim alone. I don’t think I fancy it though. We’re actually out in Bucks. I would so love to swim in Hampton Pool. We do have a lido nearby so I could try that.

I’m also tempted with paddle boarding. I saw someone doing it the other day! If you can trust yourself not to fall in then I guess no reason not to do it year round. Nice hot flask of coffee on board!