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Original poster

Will you be seeing elderly relatives over Christmas?

45 replies

Dowhatyoudowell · 16/12/2020 08:05

Just that really.

We usually get together as 4 households, but 2 are in a bubble so it’s technically 3 getting together. This includes adults, school-age DC and two other elderly people (other side of family).

MIL is in her 80’s (FIL deceased) and will only say you all decide what I should do. SIL normally hosts but DH is feeling very uncomfortable exposing their DM to everyone. SIL will go berserk if we say we are not going to come on Christmas Day now (she thinks Covid is a load of rubbish).
We are a mix of Tier 3 and 2.

The BBC News is currently reporting that the new guidance is expected to say avoid elderly relatives.

OP posts:
Waspnest · 16/12/2020 09:47

Well DH has been going into his DPs to provide care all the way through so we'll have our Christmas dinner at home and then take some over to them and maybe stay an hour or so making sure we SD/wear masks etc. Hopefully I'll have a zoom call with my DPs on Christmas day. They're about 4 hours away, so no way will we be visiting them until they've had the vaccine.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 16/12/2020 09:55

In a bubble with MIL (71) so no escaping her 😉 but I would tell SIL to F off.

That said, she has probably committed significant funds on food already so if you are pulling out you should try to cover her costs for your family. If she's bought a turkey to feed a lot of people that's a lot of wasted food unless she has a teenage son...

countrygirl99 · 16/12/2020 09:56

Yes, but as we see both sets of our parents (ages 82 to 93, all with significant health issues) regularly for care purposes the time of year doesn't make any difference. I can't see that having a mince pie or some Quality Street while we are there will add to any risk.

dementedma · 16/12/2020 12:28

Yes. Mum 85 will come to us. We are her extended bubble or whatever the hell its called as we go in every day to look after her so cant see Christmas being any different

Daisy829 · 16/12/2020 12:29

Not indoors but we will meet up for walks. Having a family group Skype on Xmas day. We are all local so have chance to see each other outdoors over the Xmas period fortunately

RainMoon · 16/12/2020 12:32

No, with kids not out of school for 2 weeks and wonderful asymptotic spreaders. The vaccine is coming. How awful for a child to grow up knowing granny died because they unknowingly infected them from school. When it was the adults and parents decisions. They won’t know at the time but they might find out when older and that’s just horrible.

userxx · 16/12/2020 12:34

Yep, will be seeing my parents mid 70's.

Babyroobs · 16/12/2020 12:36

We only have my elderly 82 year old Dad. We invited him but he declined as thinks we are too high risk. We do have 4 teenagers so I see his point. We will take him dinners round.

Tatum1234 · 16/12/2020 12:39

Yes to my parents age 69 and 64. PIL age 77 and 80 have taken themselves off to the Canaries for Christmas instead.

TheKeatingFive · 16/12/2020 12:40

Yes. We've only seen my parents a handful of times since March. They want to take the risk to see their grandchildren at Christmas. Covid is not the only thing that could kill them as they are well aware.

RoseMartha · 16/12/2020 12:46

Yes because my parents do not think life is worth living if they cant see us and would rather die. They also have multiple health issues and this year could very well be their last Christmas. I would hate it if we had not seen them on their last Christmas. ( obviously if the kids and I are told we have to isolate etc between now and then we will not see them).

WankPuffins · 16/12/2020 12:49

Yes, no choice.

My elderly dad will come up regardless. He's been to stay every month anyway. Doesn't care that dc schools are rife with covid. Even if we had symptoms or tested positive he'd turn up a anyway bashing on the door. I'd never hear the end of it if he didn't come, as much as I'd love a year off from him (he's very difficult and has ruined and dominated every Christmas since my eldest was born 18 years ago, he's getting worse as he gets older and more selfish).

CrunchyCarrot · 16/12/2020 12:55

Yes, MIL is a healthy 75 and will be staying with me and DP over the Xmas period. Since we haven't been out and about I think the risk to us all is low.

London1305f · 16/12/2020 20:46

Yes my mum (76) who lives alone.

DirtyDancing · 16/12/2020 21:46

No.

Zeetah · 16/12/2020 21:51

No.

Thankfully no one in my family is alone so we’ve not had to make any difficult decisions

TheFlis12345 · 16/12/2020 21:54

Yes we will be seeing my parent’s who are late 70’s. We are isolating this week then whole family getting tests done at the weekend, then isolating again until we meet.

Mybedislisting · 16/12/2020 21:56

We are hosting FIL - he has stage 4 cancer so this may be his last Christmas 🙁

Bvop · 16/12/2020 21:57

Made the decision not to, after the Johnson/Whitty press conference today. I don’t want to put my mum at risk, when she’ll be vaccinated by Easter. It’s sad because we have lovely Christmas traditions but we’ll have to find different lovely things to do this year, as I couldn’t bear to put her at risk. I go out to work and have secondary age kids, so we could be incubating it.

timeforanewstart · 17/12/2020 00:04

Will be Seeing my parents but they are in 60's no underlying health conditions, not seeing my nan bit she is going to my aunties for a few hrs bit is part of bubble , 87 but she can't have vaccinations anyway so waiting for that not really an option

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