This isn’t getting any better is it?

[Heatheronthehill]

The last week I’ve felt so down. I knew things would be bad in the winter, but I didn’t think they’d be this bad.
When I heard the news about the vaccine I felt really hopeful at last, but things seem as bleak as they ever were.
I have a 2 year old DS to entertain and being in a tier 3 area we have no indoor places open.
With the weather as it is, I feel extremely depressed and my mental health is becoming difficult to manage.

Standing in solidarity with you OP
We're in Tier 2 but to be honest there is no difference to us between lockdown/Tier 3/Tier 2 because I work in a hospital so that bit never stopped. I also have a toddler so won't be going to pubs, restaurants, sports anyway. I just want to be able to sit in my mum's for a brew. We've tried meeting outside for a walk. It's wet and miserable, and last time we went DD cried from the cold.

@Cornettoninja

I think we’re all dragging ourselves through this winter. Just a few weeks really and then the weather will start improving and even with restrictions some more normality can resume on individual levels because outside becomes an option. It’s bleak right now but there is another side to it. Hibernation seems like a very appealing option...

My personal feeling is things will start getting better as the weather starts to improve around March and then little by little will keep improving. I don’t think we’ll go backwards again once we’re in the spring and we have the advantage of weather plus vaccination programmes.

Right now is a test of our patience, things are happening but they take time and there’s not much that can be done about that.

This. In late October, I planted lots of bulbs and winter bedding in pots as a symbol of hope for the spring.

My optomism has been fixed on Easter since the start of autumn. Cases will naturally peak by March; it's a global seasonal pattern. The vaccine is a bonus, and will avoid a repeat of this winter.

I've no practical advice about getting through with a toddler. It's not brilliant with primary age children but at least they have school now. I haven't forgotten the long hard winter when I was struggling to get out with pregnancy/ SPD/ crutches and a toddler with undiagnosed ASD who washard work todoanything with.

@Girlzroolz

I know Aussie winters aren’t the same, but we’ve had 28 weeks hard lockdown in 2020 where I live. Largely March- Nov locked down with a couple of free weeks in June/july, in between waves. No non-food shops open, no schools, no leaving your suburb, 1hr exercise, etc.

It wasn’t easy. But it worked. Where I live it’s 41 days Covid free now. That’s no new cases, no deaths. Masks still recommended, and worn. We earned that the hard way.

You guys are the first in the world to get access to the (proper) vaccine, but it’s a slow road until everyone you know is safe. We won’t get a sniff at even dose 1 vaccine until March if we’re lucky. Let alone 95% of the rest of the world.

You can get through this. But you need a lot of people to quietly play ball.

Just saying, you’re going to be ok, sooner than most. But only proper lockdown, with community support (obedience?) is what saves lives.

We went through what you are now, in our winter. It was step by step, slow but steady. And it worked. Chin up. All the peeps I know who had horrid mental health dips during those many many months are starting smiling again now.

Guessing you will too.

Yeah except we've already done a lockdown like that and your winter is basically the same as our summer! It's not comparable at all.

I have find that those who say they won’t have the vaccine, will be not eligible until everyone else has been offered it. My DH and I will have it as soon as it’s offered everyone our age, late 50’s, early sixties definitely want and need this. Our lives are on hold at the moment.

I've also always been focused on Easter, everything will be so much better by then, vaccine program will be starting to make huge differences, the weather will be on our side and as every day passes we learn more and more about covid, how to treat it, avoid it ect.

Hi Op
I totally get how you feel,
Forcus like other few Posters have said on hygge (danish,idea on how to enhance happier way of living mindset.

Also check out internet/youTube to find out if there are fun activities for children/families to do together ?
Also check out the internet/YouTube you could listen to Children's programmes you used to like watching as child,
A fun nostraglia trip down memory lane,(not sure how old you are?

Also listen,watch your favorite music songs,of when child/teens age yrs and now,and have a mini lockdown disco with your daughter type of thing.

Also when you visit the supermarket why not on a regular basis have a fun cooking session something easy to prepare/cook together.

Also is there any recycle able,easy to get items to make, in the house such as toilet rolls etc,to have a session making things/being creative activities..

Also learn to watch out for things that often take for granted and appreciated.

With your daughter do star gazing often.
And walk in nature,pointing out what birds names of them are, doing such as star lings doing their swirling etc in the sky routine.

Watch sunset,

Watch funny/good comedy TV shows/comedians

Do get into meditation its free,can be done at home,it only takes10-15mins to get beneficial effects of this.
Also mediations is well known to help people think better with Clarity and also very good for dealing with stress,chilling out relaxation.

Also your mental health issue is this purely because of Lockdown restrictions have triggered for e.g Anxiety and Depression then?

Or are mental health issues are to do with Negative emotional baggage from the past still weighed down with them?such as a Crap childhood experiences?or shit toxic co dependancy relantship with ex Partner?or life changing illness/disability ?(often its a case of combination of factors from the past/present or just negative experiences in general ?

Whatever it is really explore/research about different kinds of therapies/theories behind them,
that you are curious/potentially think they will be beneficial to you.
find out if possibly if you can have particular therapies for free or low cost,(even if you pay for them,its worth it with a good therapy that you will not feel bogged down with personal emotional baggage issues..

ps you can have a adapt a health spa session type of thing at home instead...(check out the internet for inspiration..
Also regularly check postive sayings/affirmations on the internet on your mobile or elsewhere.
Even put a good postive saying that resonates you can relate to especially why not put it on your mobile somewhere.

Take care xxxx

I also have young kids and this week has been really tough psychologically. As others have said I think it's the absence of social events at this time of year. It's usually a great time to catch up with family/friends , go to markets and fun festive events. We could still do these things (Tier two) or could meet friends briefly outdoors but cases are surging locally and it seems irresponsible.
It's also the time of year where I might get a babysitter and do some adult socialising and I'm really really missing that. Feels relentless.

We bought decent snow gear for the kids (almost 2 and 5) and an arctic cosytoes for the pram. DH and I dug our decent walking gear and reproofed it, I bought new boots and we go out every day, rain or shine. It definitely helps.

What I wouldn't do for a soft play to be open though! And I usually hate those things.

Winter was always going to be bad though - hospitals are always full even without COVID. People are now bored of the restrictions and the weather isn't helping so more people are taking more risks, less social distancing and going to people's homes. The problem is it then worsens the issue - more people catching it and sopping areas going down the tiers.

I feel the same been in tears today !

I find I’m almost in tears about twenty times a day at the moment. All news is terrible, not true I know but it feels like it. No day, just grey, that’s not helping.
I’m incredibly depressed by the quality of people, all the negation of fact and sense, it’s become our media and it’s distressing to see and hear. People are doing their best in a fucking insanely hard time to make sure we are ok within the limits of what can be ok right now, and the government doesn’t particularly care to listen.
There’s a large group of people who twist facts to mean the opposite, they’re just liars, yet they are almost mainstream. People like Julia Hartley Brewer, doesn’t even care if she’s found out to be wrong, just moves on to the next outrage. So many of these terrible people, and they know what they’re doing. It’s incredibly depressing that in a time of crisis, all they can do is carry on their grift. I can ignore them, yes, but knowing people lap it up is getting me down.
I don’t want everyone to agree, just choose your idols more carefully, have some self-respect, stop letting yourselves be played for someone else’s gain.
I’m not even patriotic but Britain’s come so low, so yeah that, no daylight, the incessant presence of covid, Brexit... BLAH.

Thermal underwear, gloves, a hat or hood and get outdoors as much as possible, it helps. A mask helps keeps your face warm too.

Make dens, bake, watch lots of christmas movies. Maybe make scrapbooks that you could look back on later. Plant cress seeds - surprisingly I have salad leaves growing, although not sure if they will make it to being eaten. If you can get an amaryllis and measure it each day, you can almost watch them grow.

Study something from every angle and make sketches of it - if they are like mine tear them up immediately but focusing on something intently makes you look at it differently. Paint something - decorate if you want or just a piece of paper. Wallpaper lining rolls are cheap and good for painting with children.

Play snap if you have suitable cards.

While some of these suggestions are great, particularly getting an amaryllis, which I think I will do, I don't think the despair OP is describing can be placated by doing crafts. Well mine can't anyway. It's long term uncertainty stretching on for months, in and out of restrictions, plans cancelled and cancelled again, in and out of isolation, plans up in the air and the effects that this all has on our kids that are wreaking havoc with our MH. For crafts and ideas, I'm sorted.

Another one here in tier 3 with a 2 year old. It is just so long and boring and awful.

However, we found that the library was open this week - can't describe how amazing it was to take her somewhere indoors that wasn't our house. Visits are limited to 15mins, but it was a great 15mins. I think it's going to become a weekly visit for us - is it a possibility for you?

As others have said, once things start to improve in the spring I don't think there will be any going backwards after that... Full steam ahead to normality for the summer... March is only 14 weeks away and we are on the home stretch now :)

I’m feeling awful at the moment too. 2 children under 6, I’m CEV and suffer with anxiety and health anxiety as it is.
Feel like I go insane with them at home over the weekends, but equally insane with anxiety when they’re at school, especially when I know other school parents are meeting all and sundry all the time.
V high rates in my area, feel like it’s inevitable we will be isolating over Xmas, then dread them going back in Jan for when the cases sky rocket.
I’m fed up of being scared and worried constantly, 9 months in and that feeling has never passed for me

I am just trying to focus on positive things. Our city has never really been out of lock down since March. We have both managed to keep our jobs and my ds2 has an apprenticeship lined up. The kids ( teenagers) are fed up with not being able to see their friends etc but we try to make things as nice as possible for them - nice food and drink, Netflix, takeaway once a week, making the home as nice and cosy as possible. It's my ds3's 18th Birthday this week and it will obviously just be a small family celebration. We are tier 3 and we can't even go out for a pub meal.

@Girlzroolz

I know Aussie winters aren’t the same, but we’ve had 28 weeks hard lockdown in 2020 where I live. Largely March- Nov locked down with a couple of free weeks in June/july, in between waves. No non-food shops open, no schools, no leaving your suburb, 1hr exercise, etc.

It wasn’t easy. But it worked. Where I live it’s 41 days Covid free now. That’s no new cases, no deaths. Masks still recommended, and worn. We earned that the hard way.

You guys are the first in the world to get access to the (proper) vaccine, but it’s a slow road until everyone you know is safe. We won’t get a sniff at even dose 1 vaccine until March if we’re lucky. Let alone 95% of the rest of the world.

You can get through this. But you need a lot of people to quietly play ball.

Just saying, you’re going to be ok, sooner than most. But only proper lockdown, with community support (obedience?) is what saves lives.

We went through what you are now, in our winter. It was step by step, slow but steady. And it worked. Chin up. All the peeps I know who had horrid mental health dips during those many many months are starting smiling again now.

Guessing you will too.

Oh god I wish we had a proper, hard lockdown. All the eat out to help out and BoJo telling us to get back to the office. We watched on in horror as history was clear- the second wave in winter would be hideous.

All I can say is try and get outside a little bit even if the weather isn’t great. I know it’s going to be wet all week and it’s not warm, but wrap up, put your wellies on and go for a walk, spot the Xmas lights in gardens or feed the ducks.

It has literally lashed rain here for the last seven days, and this week the sun sets at 3.25pm. I always find this time of year difficult, but this feels utterly relentlessly bleak - and that’s without small children to occupy.

@madcatladyforever

It will never get any better because everyone I speak to isn't prepared to have the vaccine. Fellow medical practitioners, my mechanic, my friends. i want to tear my hair out with frustration.

The government aren’t going to tolerate mass deaths and the economy being fucked any longer than they have to because people think they are to special to have the vaccine. They’ll mandate the vaccine if they have to. For those who say it won’t happen, this time last year who could have imagined the other measures they’d put in place.

All they could do is prevent people doing certain things if they’ve not had the vaccine, but from what I understand it wouldn’t be necessary because at some point herd immunity will be reached so not everyone will need it.

However I’m not an epidemiologist and they don’t know if people’s bodies will hold onto immunity so I imagine it’s more complex.

There are countries where you can’t enrol your kids at school without a vaccination certificate, so there is precedent for that I guess.

Oh god I wish we had a proper, hard lockdown

Yes, that worked such a treat in Spain, didn't it?

@VerlynWebbe

All they could do is prevent people doing certain things if they’ve not had the vaccine, but from what I understand it wouldn’t be necessary because at some point herd immunity will be reached so not everyone will need it.

However I’m not an epidemiologist and they don’t know if people’s bodies will hold onto immunity so I imagine it’s more complex.

There are countries where you can’t enrol your kids at school without a vaccination certificate, so there is precedent for that I guess.

I think the government would prefer not to mandate it but they are not going to put up with this shit going on longer than it has to due to vaccine refusers. Workplaces could also bring in rules that they won’t employ people who haven’t been vaccinated and airlines could insist on it for travel.

@midgebabe

If you want rights, you have to accept responsibilities. You can't have human rights if it destroys society, or kills others. You have a responsibility to use your rights wisely, you have a responsibility to ensure your rights don't trampled over others

I dunno, we're allowed to drive cars despite killing and injuring people and that's without the effects of air pollution.

Oh god I wish we had a proper, hard lockdown

How would stopping people exercising outside at all/more than 1km away from their homes have helped to prevent the spread of covid?

This "we didn't lock down hard enough" which translates as "nobody should have been allowed outside to run or cycle" is such a nonsense.

It does feel relentless just now.
I hope this thread makes you feel better op, theres lots in the same boat.