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Original poster

After this weekend, should I still see my gran?

43 replies

Ronasarrus · 12/12/2020 19:02

I’m in a support bubble with my 80 year old grandma and have been since it was allowed.

I had my first baby this year so I’ve been super careful. No supermarkets, outdoor activities only and my husband works from home.

This weekend I’ve done a few things I haven’t done before and now I’m starting to worry I shouldn’t see my grandma.

Friday I went to the hairdressers. Masks work. Very quick appointment. In and out in 35 minutes.

This morning I went to Boots. I needed to get a few things and went at 9am when it opened. There were around 7/8 people in there. Masks worn.

Today i went on a Santa train with my son and husband.
It was at on a Light railway.
Small train, the wooden carriage type.
Lots of the big windows open. Masks worn.
In our carriage there were 4 other adults and for children.
2 of the adults and 1 of the children was my brothers husband, his wife and their son(we all still distanced)

We got off the train and it was an outdoor grotto, back on the train and straight home.

I go to my grandmas most days and she comes to mine.

I’m so worried I’ve been too risky this weekend and I’d never forgive myself if I passed anything to her.

OP posts:

AcornAutumn · 12/12/2020 21:01

@MistletoeandGin

My grandmother turned 90 yesterday. She spent her morning walking round her local shops, had takeaway coffee with family in the park then went out for lunch with my aunt (her support bubble). She gets out and about every day as she loses too much mobility if she doesn’t (and at that age if you lose it you don’t get it back). Speak to your grandmother and ask her if she’s happy with the risk, which is low in my opinion.

Good to hear

Mum is losing mobility. She walks around the house and garden but can’t cope with the cold so meet-ups outdoors are out for a long while now.

MistletoeandGin · 12/12/2020 21:04

Mum is losing mobility. She walks around the house and garden but can’t cope with the cold so meet-ups outdoors are out for a long while now

Sorry to hear that, it’s awful watching them become more and more frail isn’t it?

AcornAutumn · 12/12/2020 21:30

@MistletoeandGin

Mum is losing mobility. She walks around the house and garden but can’t cope with the cold so meet-ups outdoors are out for a long while now

Sorry to hear that, it’s awful watching them become more and more frail isn’t it?

It really is. And watching them be lonely because they can’t see their friends and have the things that make life worth living.

Original poster

Ronasarrus · 13/12/2020 08:13

@PurBal

I wouldn't. My grandma died in the first lockdown, it's really not worth the risk.

@PurBal

Really sorry to hear that. ☹️

The only things I’ve done all year are what I’ve said in my OP (this weekend) so I guess I was just trying to establish if what I’ve done this weekend is too risky.

OP posts:

ineedaholidaynow · 13/12/2020 08:23

Is there a reason you see your Grandma every day, is it just for social reasons or does she need some form of care?

MindThatTree · 13/12/2020 08:27

My 91 year old grandma has been out every single day since this all started. She goes to the shops, out for lunch (when we could), goes to the hairdresser, has facials and massages and has a cleaner every week.

Ffsffsffsffsffs · 13/12/2020 08:37

My 91 year old widowed aunt is in my dad's bubble. I work in a school and my 2 kids are in bubbles of 300 each, there's no way I'm seeing any of my elderly family until they're vaccinated because we have over a thousand contacts at schools alone.

I think one trip to Boots is nothing to worry about, though I am curious as to why you spent the day at a santa train ride if you are so risk-averse?

Crumpetycrump · 13/12/2020 08:48

What are the case levels like where you are?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/12/2020 08:55

Where’s the proof that supermarkets are so risky? DD works in one and has been amazed how few colleagues have been off sick when they’ve all worked throughout the pandemic. I find it very interesting.

Katie517 · 13/12/2020 09:01

OP it’s fine nothing you have done is in the slightest bit risky! I can’t believe some of the replies on here. Please try and put into perspective that not every other person you encounter has COVID and try and build your confidence around very low risk activities. It’s lovely that you are such a support to your grandma and ignore people on here saying you are putting her at risk it sounds as though you are incredibly thoughtful and considerate.

AliMonkey · 13/12/2020 09:08

Sounds like everything you did was socially distanced apart from when wearing mask. I’m amazed that you’ve managed to do none of those things sybc

MistletoeandGin · 13/12/2020 09:11

@BigSandyBalls2015

There isn’t any. The assertion is likely based on the data that of all the people infected in a particular time period over lockdown #2, the participants in a study were asked where they had been in the past week. The answer that came out most often was ‘the supermarket’. This is unsurprising for a few reasons... 1) everyone needs to eat, 2) supermarkets were one of the few places people were legally allowed to go at that time (can’t see many people answering ‘an illegal party at my mates house’) and 3) everything else was shut. It in no way means that the majority of cases are caught there, as was also pointed out in the study.

ApolloandDaphne · 13/12/2020 09:11

I see my 80 yo DM weekly. Both of us in between get our hair done, go to the shops, she goes to church weekly etc. We both wear masks, sanitise and distance when out. Neither of us perceive any great risk with our actions.

AliMonkey · 13/12/2020 09:13

... since March. Have you really not been in a shop?

DM is in her 80s and in our bubble. She herself has been what I see as very strict as stayed at home on own almost all the time but has still occasionally been in shops, has been to hairdressers and dentist and a couple of times in summer met friend outside. She has also happily stayed with us who go shopping, to school and occasionally for meals out or into office.

So tell her what you’ve done and give her the choice.

mumwalk · 13/12/2020 18:29

@larsingsong

Completely agree. This isn't about the rules, it's about how OP feels about the risk.

Original poster

Ronasarrus · 13/12/2020 18:51

[quote mumwalk]@larsingsong

Completely agree. This isn't about the rules, it's about how OP feels about the risk.[/quote]
@mumwalk

I don’t know how I feel about the risks.

This weekend is the first time (since the start of Covid) that I’ve ever done those things so I’m not entirely sure how much risk I’ve come into and how much of a risk I now am to my Gran.

OP posts:

mumwalk · 13/12/2020 22:33

@Ronasarrus

Maybe for peace of mind you would both feel better to not meet indoors for 10 days. The problem with asking her how she feels is that she might be willing to take a risk that would leave you feeling uncomfortable.

My experience is that elderly parents can seem more keen on seeing family regardless of risks and it is us that are having to say "no". We have school-age children, though, so much higher risk.

Calmandmeasured1 · 14/12/2020 06:26

Being in a bubble doesn’t t bar you from legally permitted activities
That's true. However, just because an activity is legally permissable, it doesn't mean it is safe. Mask-wearing and being an arbitrarily-decided 2 metres apart from others doesn't stop you contracting Covid either. It minimises the risk. It doesn't remove it.

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