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Original poster

Why is family so selfish!

23 replies

L1416 · 09/12/2020 20:50

I need to have a rant as I can't fathom why my family is so selfish. Were in tier 3.

Just got asked by my sister if I'm going to go over and see her over Christmas in the week she's got off work 25th-4th jan. We
Both have 2 children and how it would be great for them to get together to play.

I said no as were not allowed amongst other reasons and her response we are its called a Christmas bubble and then proceeds to tell me the dates we are allowed to again I've still said no due to varying things but why why why why even suggest it??? Ahhh it pisses me right Off!

She also asked at the weekend if I wanted to have the eldest child for a few hours so both her and mine can play.

And this isn't the only member of my family. I was invited this week to go over to my parents(72 and 63) for bacon sandwiches this week whilst the kids are at school

Seriously !!! Do they not understand what the rulings are currently for our area and the fact covid is still out there its not going away for the sake of Christmas. The risk is high and we have vulnerable grandparents with health conditions who can get very poorly . Feel like slamming my head against a brick wall tonight!!!

OP posts:

Cherrypicker85 · 09/12/2020 20:56

My sympathies OP..
We are going to travel and stay with my in-laws for Christmas because 'it's allowed'!
We have no energy for family politics and with the rules allowing it there's no excuse that wouldn't cause a major drama.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/12/2020 20:59

Well your reason of not being allowed isn’t true.

Mumdiva99 · 09/12/2020 21:01

It's not really selfish of your sister to ask you to be in her Xmas bubble. In fact it's a lovely thing for her to ask.

All you have to say was that you know it's allowed but due to the risks you are staying home.

Does your sister have a partner? Does her child have other siblings or relatives to interact with? Maybe they were asking for their mental health?

She's suggesting it because she can.....

AlexaShutUp · 09/12/2020 21:04

I agree that people should hold back from any unnecessary meet-ups at the moment, but technically your dsis is right that a Christmas bubble is permitted - up to 3 households I believe, between specific dates only. That doesn't mean that you have to have one, of course.

We'll be spending Christmas at home this year as I'd like my family to still be around next year.

islockdownoveryet · 09/12/2020 21:05

You are allowed !! Between the 23rd dec and 27th 3 households can mix .
Now you choosing not to is another issue but to say your family is selfish is ridiculous.
If you don't want to don't but it's not selfish op to want to see family at Christmas.

Original poster

L1416 · 09/12/2020 21:07

@Mumdiva99

It's not really selfish of your sister to ask you to be in her Xmas bubble. In fact it's a lovely thing for her to ask.

All you have to say was that you know it's allowed but due to the risks you are staying home.

Does your sister have a partner? Does her child have other siblings or relatives to interact with? Maybe they were asking for their mental health?

She's suggesting it because she can.....

She has a husband and no there is no other siblings. But its not allowed is it after the 27th for tier 3?? id rather her and their family be safe and alive

OP posts:

AppleJane · 09/12/2020 21:09

Fortunately our family are all agreed that we want to wait for the sake of our vulnerable. It must be really hard for everyone when there is a split.

Sadly, some families are going to have to deal with the consequences of their decision come January. I just hope elderly relatives aren't pressured into gatherings because it is 'allowed'.

Try to stay calm and explain your reasons to them

Nymeriastark1 · 09/12/2020 21:11

"She has a husband and no there is no other siblings. But its not allowed is it after the 27th for tier 3??
id rather her and their family be safe and alive"

Just say that then, you don't need to rant and rave calling them all selfish. It's up to the grandparents if they want to risk it. Their choice. The situation isn't ideal for anyone atm.

Original poster

L1416 · 09/12/2020 21:12

Im well aware of the dates but considering Christmas is the 25th. boxing day the 26th I'm working as she is fully aware then technically that only leaves the 27th and she's already got our parents coming over. So she wants me to break the rules to come to see her after the bubble dates. Sorry but in my mind I believe that is selfish

OP posts:

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 09/12/2020 21:12

In your OP you say she is of from 25th to 4th Jan. So unless there's a typo you are wrong. It is allowed for the first couple of days of her time off.

Therefore she's not being selfish.

She has extended an invitation. Decline it by all means, but don't call her selfish. That just makes you look like a twat

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 09/12/2020 21:13

Then say that in your original post. Don't drip feed!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/12/2020 21:14

You are drip feeding OP.

greenlynx · 09/12/2020 21:15

Your sister is right that you can make a bubble over Christmas as PPs mentioned already. However she was wrong to suggest bringing her child over and your parents were wrong inviting you for sandwiches. It does sound like they are not entirely getting the situation but I might be wrong, maybe they just want to see you. How often do you see / phone them?

Attictroll · 09/12/2020 21:16

As above its nice to ask you to be in an Christmas bubble. She way have just got dates a bit wrong. If your response is "sorry we aren't going to do the Christmas bubble thing as we think it's safer not to" that's fine too but she is not being selfish she wants to see you.

AlexaShutUp · 09/12/2020 21:16

You are drip feeding OP.

Yep.

Obviously, you are not unreasonable to follow the rules, but you could see her on 25/26/27 if you choose.

Original poster

L1416 · 09/12/2020 21:16

What the hell is drip feeding ?

OP posts:

Orangeblossom77777 · 09/12/2020 21:19

I think people need to make their own decisions, if you don't want to see her tell her that perhaps. Why be so cross

userxx · 09/12/2020 21:20

id rather her and their family be safe and alive

Yeah, I'm pretty sure they will be. The mortality rate in incredibly low.

Mumdiva99 · 09/12/2020 21:32

Drip feeding is not putting enough information into your original post for others to offer advice- but adding it later....e.g. we can't see her on the 25, 26 or 27....

Although not sure why you can't see her on the 23, 24 or 27?

Broceliande · 09/12/2020 21:45

Christ.

It's threads like this that make me glad that Mumsnet thankfully doesn't represent the greater part of the attitudes I encounter in real life.

Miserable stuff and I do worry about how people are going to repair relationships when this is all over.

islockdownoveryet · 09/12/2020 22:09

Op don't see your sister then stop with hysteria. It's a shame you can't and won't make plans but she's not selfish at all .

Aprilrainbow · 09/12/2020 22:09

We are allowed to do lost of things that endanger health.

Pootle40 · 09/12/2020 23:00

@Broceliande

Christ.

It's threads like this that make me glad that Mumsnet thankfully doesn't represent the greater part of the attitudes I encounter in real life.

Miserable stuff and I do worry about how people are going to repair relationships when this is all over.

Totally

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