Losing family to Covid and the long term mental health cost.

[goldenharvest]

Really hitting home now. My SIL died last week having contracted covid. She had underlying health conditions and was medically vulnerable, but generally well. She only had a minor back injury but had epilepsy. In hospital tested positive and died age 54

My other SIL developed back pain 9 months ago and has now been diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. No treatment possible as it is so advanced. GP would not do a face to face appointment and she was fobbed off a lot with pain killers and so on. Also in her 50s. To me she is also a covid victim.

My sister is off sick with anxiety and depression because she has been shielding her disabled child, who has had multiple hospital admissions, with the added stress of not allowing other family to visit and support. Stuck in hospital for 5 weeks, unable to leave her child or swap with her DH has broken her.

DH is obviously depressed with this and the family as a whole are distressed. The mental health of all us is stretched to its limit.

This pandemic will take people years to recover from mentally.

It’s awful. And then families don’t get to grieve properly either.

There won't even be a funeral so we will have to wait many months to scatter her ashes. It's all so depressing. Until recently I didn't know of anyone who died.

I'm sorry to hear this OP

We have close family with advanced cancer we can't see, and another one with end stage conditions who is too worried about not being able to see relatives they are refusing to go into hospital again.

It's really hard. I have teen DC who need school and in exam years but feel I am letting people down by not supporting enough. I am trying to let that guilt go but it isn't easy.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry for your loss.

I lost my aunt and uncle to covid and had to arrange a double funeral .

Then lost my father in law and my mother had a stroke .

I just feel exhausted and so sad how my aunt and uncle finished their lives .

You are right that your SIL with the cancer is also a Covid victim.

So sorry for all that you and yours are going through, There is no “back to normal” after something like this, it will change you. That does not mean there can be no joy in your future, but no-one can tell you when or how to find it.

So sorry for your family’s loss, and the stress of health problems. Try to take good care of yourself.

I'm so sorry OP. I agree, there will be longterm trauma caused by the events of this year.

Thank you for the kind thoughts. I am sad that so many other families are going through this. My poor BIL (who came out of a disastrous first marriage to find the love of his life) is devastated.