Dd isolating

[Maciesmammy]

This probably isn't the right place to post but its where I find myself reading most of the time.
I'm really struggling at the minute to hold things together. Me and my husband are both working full time (lucky I know considering everything).
The thing is, I was never meant to be full time. I always told my employer I needed part time hours as I have a 8yo dd to look after. I was asked if I could a few more hours months back as something big was happening at work. I said yes, no problem, thinking this would last until things calmed down, but it has just continued, I got on with it. I was then asked if I would consider night shift for a few weeks as we were so busy it was hard to get a lot done during the day, I again agreed.
The thing is now my daughter has been sent home to isolate twice within the last month. She was only back to school 10 days and we have been told she has to self isolate again for another 2 weeks. I understand its no ones fault but this means another 2 weeks of me barely sleeping through the day and working all night.
Just to add, my employers are not the most understanding people, I could basically lose my job at the drop of a hat if I start needing time off every couple of weeks.
I dont even think I'm asking anything and thank you if you've made it this far, I just feel like I'm sinking rapidly and I no longer see a light at the end of a tunnel .

This sounds really really hard. What support do you have nearby?

None, to be blunt. Our childcare is the local childminder who can't have her for obvious ransoms

You must feel so bloody alone, I’m sorry to hear this is happening.

Regarding your job, didn’t the government bring something in about employers having to give e parents time off with isolating children? I’ll have a look for it.

I think you sound like a hard working and flexible employee. In your darkest moments, you must worry about losing you job, but don’t you get any sense that they value you?

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/coronavirus-if-you-need-to-be-off-work-to-care-for-someone/

It’s definitely worth considering parental leave. You dont get paid, but you are legally entitled to several weeks of this leave until you child is 16 or 18 - can’t remember which. My employer insists we take it in two week blocks.

I'm sorry that sounds tough.
Is it possible for your husband to share some of the load? Could he take some time off to care for her?

I think they value me in the moment, depending what mood they're in. Then the mood changes. That's the best way to describe working there. Depends what mood they're in and who's in the good books.

Hes already used the last of his holidays when she was she was last sent home to isolate

Oh that's a shame. It's a difficult situation.
And, it's horrible working in a job that stresses you out, even without a pandemic. I'm sorry.

@CountessFrog

It’s definitely worth considering parental leave. You dont get paid, but you are legally entitled to several weeks of this leave until you child is 16 or 18 - can’t remember which. My employer insists we take it in two week blocks.

But how do you survive if you need the wage. I dont in any way mean to sound horrible but we need both wages to keep heads ubove water

Did you sign a contract for part-time employment.
If you did let them know due to personal circumstances you can only work your contracted hour or is it a zero hour contract.

The self isolating payment should be given to parents who need to care for a self isolating child. It's ridiculous that this isn't happening.

In your situation I'd be tempted to tell your employer you have symptoms.

It sounds like the job's putting you under a lot of stress anyway. It might be worth speaking to your GP about getting signed off for a few weeks - for some respite.

Getting an appointment with my gp seems to be out of the question at the minute. Believe me I have been tempted to tell them but then what if it actually happens, I'm screwed. Seems like every way you look at it we're screwed.
My contract is only 16 hours per week but I was told I would get 24 as this is what was discussed at interview. If I complain ill get cut down to 16 which isn't enough

You poor thing, this sounds awful, what I would say is just cut corners as much as you can, you sound absolutely exhausted. I think you need to say to your employers that the night shifts aren’t working and you need to be moved off as soon as possible and point out it was only meant to be for a few weeks. In the meantime, don’t feel bad about asking DD to watch telly/use her tablet/read quietly for a couple of hours while mum sleeps and don’t worry that the house is a mess, you’re having microwave meals/everything else is going to pot. You are in a crisis and it’s just survival at this point, don’t put any extra pressure on yourself.

Is your husband home?
Last time when the schools shut I gave up home schooling, I cant work full time, be a mum and a teacher and neither do i want to be or am I capable.

Set her tasks up and go to sleep, if she doesnnt do it, let the teacher speak to her, this is not maintain able for the next what year or 5???

@Mediumred

You poor thing, this sounds awful, what I would say is just cut corners as much as you can, you sound absolutely exhausted. I think you need to say to your employers that the night shifts aren’t working and you need to be moved off as soon as possible and point out it was only meant to be for a few weeks. In the meantime, don’t feel bad about asking DD to watch telly/use her tablet/read quietly for a couple of hours while mum sleeps and don’t worry that the house is a mess, you’re having microwave meals/everything else is going to pot. You are in a crisis and it’s just survival at this point, don’t put any extra pressure on yourself.

You summed it up perfectly. Im only just surviving. I was making my dd a packed lunch to take upstairs the last time so she wasn't hungry during the day. I feel so bad for her, this isn't living

I've told her all work, apart from actual homework she would have had anyway, is on the back bench. Sounds awful but this time of year and the jobs we're in its just horrible

It sounds very tough. Just hang in there as best you can.

Thank you

@Maciesmammy
It would be worth phoning ACAS for some employment advice on this. It must be affecting so many people and surely it would be illegal and imoral to sack people who need to care for family members isolating or maybe even need to be isolating themselves.
Is there a policy in your workplace?

I can't offer you any advice, but with each self isolation (my son's had 4 now) it becomes more exhausting/depressing and when work gets busy, it's stressful, but mine are teens.

What I'm trying to say is please safeguard your mental health if possible. If you lose that then you won't be able to work. Can you get signed off for a bit or if this happens again?