Erm...is this allowed? (Christmas bubbles)

[Pumpertrumper]

So quick query as genuinely don’t know.

MIL is single and bubbled with us so part of our household. So far we have been sticking to rules.

When the Christmas bubble was announced we asked my parents to join us for Christmas Day, MIL wants to spend Christmas Day with SIL and her DH. This was fine as still just 3 houses in total.

Us+ MIL- 1 house
DM+DF - 1 house
SIL+BIL - 1 house

MIL told us yesterday that SIL is now hosting another household on Christmas Day too. So now MIL will be spending the day as part of a 3 household bubble separately from us. (This will include a school aged child from one of the highest areas in the county). Whilst we mix with another household ourselves.

MIL plans to spend much of the rest of the Christmas period with us.

I can’t help wondering if this isn’t above board as MIL is part of our household surely that means it’s an additional 2 households between us, not each.

Tbh I would knit pick but MIL is a stickler for the rules and would be quick to pull us up.

Yes that's four groups so technically not allowed.

So you're just trying to catch her out?

I don't think so. I think that the bubble of 3 you set out

You+mil
Dm+df
Sil+bil

Then can't see anyone else.

Us/MIL/my parents and SIL are all being VERY careful as each house has vulnerable members (cancer/pregnant/elderly...etc) no one is going out even to the supermarket and no childcare or schools...etc.

The extra household now joining SIL for Christmas are an unknown quantity with a school going child. We know they live in a very very high area

@myhobbyisouting

No I’m trying to make sure DH and I don’t break the rules. I do suspect MIL may know it’s a stretch and hope we don’t notice. I get on super well with MIL so no bad feelings but she would be the first to pull us up if we broke the rules usually.

No it’s not strictly allowed.

You’re right, it’s not allowed.

Not allowed.

Maybe suggest SIL does her own thing on the day with the other family and then you can do outdoor walks etc to fill other socialising gaps?

[quote Pumpertrumper]@myhobbyisouting

No I’m trying to make sure DH and I don’t break the rules. I do suspect MIL may know it’s a stretch and hope we don’t notice. I get on super well with MIL so no bad feelings but she would be the first to pull us up if we broke the rules usually.[/quote]
It’s not a stretch it’s a rule break. That’s 4 households.

I think MIL needs to spend Christmas Day with you, and then see SIL’s household e.g. Boxing Day.

It will reduce the chances of MIL catching something.

If MIL doesn’t return to your bubble until after your guests have left - then there’s no direct link from your SIL’s guests to your guests. The virus couldn’t be spread from this other family’s child to your father, for example, if he’s gone home before your MIL returns.

You're mixing with another household too? So give households?

Five households, even.

That sounds like one too many households in the bubble to me but putting the 'rules' aside, do you really want anyone in your household to be mixing with a family (whose Covid behaviour you are unsure about) who have a school age child from a very high risk area? That would definitely be a NO from me. Just because they can mix doesn't mean you should/have to.

That's not allowed as you've stated it. It's 4 households now in the bubble
You+MIL
DM+DF
SIL+BIL
SIL's friends

However, if members of a household spend the 23-27th apart from each other, they can be in different bubbles (whether this is safe, is a whole different question).

So you could have
Bubble 1: You/ DM+DF = 2households
Bubble 2: MIL/SIL+BIL/SIL's friend = 3 households

But MIL couldn't mix with you during this time if you did it this way.

who cares honestly, the fact everyone in the country is now allowed to mix with 3 households automatically means that a lot of people will interpret that as I can see whoever I want, we will inevitably be back in a lockdown in January so honestly I say fuck it - make the most of the few days you're "allowed" to see people because January to march/april is going to be bloody depressing

@confusedx3

I don’t judge others but as myself and DF are vulnerable I do worry about exposure.

If I’m honest it’s the school age child I’m worried about as they feel like a much higher risk than any of the rest of us who simply aren’t leaving home.

Obviously if our kids were school age or at nursery...etc we’d just have to take the risk and deal but they aren’t so this feels a significantly higher risk for me/DF.

Might just have to split our current bubble with MIL and let her go have Christmas then quarantine 14 days and re join us in our bubble.

Idk. I feel bad saying ‘I’m not comfortable with that’

It’s obvious the issue is MIL currently being classed as part of our household

you are of course within your right to take whatever risks you want. but honestly, I think a lot of people will be breaking this rule. people hear what they want to hear - it's an awkward one and is going to cause tension in a lot of families I think

I completely understand you with not feeling OK saying "I'm not comfortable with this" as I'm am in a similar situation myself in regards to Christmas.

It's horrible but I do think us people who are trying to keep everyone safe and happy need to grow a back and start saying No, that's not right to things.

Speak to MIL her response may surprise you (in a good way) or you may find a easy solution.

Good luck.

I don’t judge others but as myself and DF are vulnerable I do worry about exposure.

This is the important bit, and matters more than any rule. Are there going to be more contacts than you are comfortable with? If so, then the arrangement doesn't work for you.

The whole three household rule is stupid. People are going to claim different bubbles on different days and that's what will amplify the spread. The government know this, but are more interested in a good headline than saving lives.