Would you visit?

[Athinginitself]

Would you visit in this situation? Name changed as outing.
So have stuck to rules throughout so not anti restrictions..
Situation is that mum, dad and sister live 2 hours away. Mum and dad in 70s, and live with/ provide care for my adult sister who has learning disabilities autism epilepsy. Mum and sister struggling and both miserable, mums really down and anxious my sister is very unsettled (all normal activities off) kicking off at mum a bit, having more seizures, basically not a happy house. I last saw them at end of August, we then went into tier 3, then lockdown, now in tier 3 again so shouldn't travel to them (also now tier 3) and can't bubble as have a partner who I live with. I feel they could really do with seeing me, maybe staying a few days a bit of a change and some support for them both. We're all in CV category but have low risk lives.
I dont think I will because I'd feel guilty breaking the rules and do generally believe we need restrictions right now. Also my dp doesnt think I should but it's not up to him!

I disagree your partner isn't allowed to be against the idea unless you are able to live away from him for 2 weeks upon your return as you can't unilaterally decide to increase his risk of exposure to the virus.

If your concern is about breaking the rules, I'm really not sure that you would be breaking the rules at all. It's a while since I last checked the regulations, but I recall there being an exemption for a gathering that is reasonably necessary to provide assistance to a vulnerable person. I believe that anyone over 70 is classed as vulnerable for this purpose. I think the main issue is how great a risk there is of you inadvertently carrying Covid into your parents' home, as "low risk" is not the same as "no risk". What is your DP's concern? Is it that you may catch Covid from your parents/sister? It's a difficult situation and the answer isn't obvious to me, but I think you should assess by reference to Covid risk versus risk to your family's health if you don't go. I don't think concerns about rule breaking should factor into your thought process.

I don't think concerns about rule breaking should factor into your thought process.
This is precisely why areas are in higher tiers and will be for as long as people are ignoring the rules. Breaking the rules should definitely factor into our decisions.

OP, I think the rules do allow for you visit under the exemption of providing care or support to a vulnerable person.

@Calmandmeasured1 You have completely misunderstood my comment! What I meant was that in the OP's case I don't believe she is breaking the rules, but just because something is within the rules doesn't make it safe. Personally, I think if people focused more on actual risk rather than what is "allowed" cases would come down more quickly.

Thanks for your thoughts. Am going to hold off unless anything changes I think, am planning to see them at xmas anyway. DP not particularly worried about us contracting the virus due to me visiting, I think he just doesnt see what I can usefully do in a few days, but I don't think he fully gets how hard it is for my mum with my sister really.

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