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Original poster

Visiting Shielding and clinically vulnerable people at Christmas

78 replies

WwMILd · 25/11/2020 17:25

Have seen a few posts about having Christmas Day with people that are most at risk, might be their last Christmas etc.

Can I just say that whilst I totally understand the sentiment behind it - if they are in those groups (esp shielding), they will be more than likely undergoing regular treatment/appointments alongside similar people. That means that whilst they might be happy to take the risk, it might also have a knock on effect on others having treatment alongside them.

Just a thought....

OP posts:
QueenPaws · 25/11/2020 18:31

@SunShinesStill I got a toffee nut Frappuccino so came with a straw and they were really good about no contact, paid by card and drink handed over on a tray

premiumhob · 25/11/2020 18:32

@herecomesthsun

Yes I am as well. Letter went out on Nov 4th.

I was wrong and acknowledged that as soon as I was made aware. Totally my error.

SunShinesStill · 25/11/2020 18:42

@QueenPaws thank you Smile

FuzzyPuffling · 25/11/2020 18:45

Still shielding here.

So, stayed in since March (not been in a shop at all). Not seen family. Watched the neighbours partying with their visiting family (even after lockdown2). Mental health deteriorating by the day. Told "well it's your choice, it's only advisory" (some flipping choice).

And today I see that Tesco say they have no Christmas delivery slots left, so our Christmas a deux will be without Christmassy food as well.

And now we're being guilted in case we are a risk to people treating us? Good grief.

QueenPaws · 25/11/2020 18:49

@FuzzyPuffling have you tried sainsburys? I bought a £10 delivery pass today and booked a slot for the 23rd

Orangeblossom7777 · 25/11/2020 18:50

Why are you singling out vulnerable people?

By this reasoning this would apply to anyone coming into contact with other vulnerable people for example care workers, hospital staff, care home residents etc

So you want all those people to be guilted into not seeing others?

Even though in 'treatment' people would were masks and take general care anyway.

I think people really need to stop with this policing of others. It's getting too much. And this one makes no sense.

iVampire · 25/11/2020 18:54

@FourTeaFallOut

Wait....so, first I have to shield - not going outside at all for months on end - to save the hospital beds for healthy folk, then I have to shield but send all my kids to school or risk a fine, then although I'm in 2.5 million people shielding - I won't get a look in at the vaccine till group six, and now you'd like me to forgo having a Christmas like everyone else because if I do get sick I might make someone treating me sick?

Fuck all that for a game of soldiers.

This with bells on!!

It just wrong that healthy people of an age to still be in the workforce are going to be immunised ahead of those the government and its medical advises has judged to be the most at risk up to this point

Original poster
WwMILd · 25/11/2020 18:55

My bad, I wasn’t trying to guilt trip people in the category. I was trying to say that people having contact with those people should think about how they could make it safer.

OP posts:
lljkk · 25/11/2020 18:59

My 70+ yr old neighbour is on kidney dialysis.
I will be astonished if he doesn't see his grandchildren asap, and definitely for Christmas break.
Adult, choice he has right to make.

FuzzyPuffling · 25/11/2020 19:00

It just wrong that healthy people of an age to still be in the workforce are going to be immunised ahead of those the government and its medical advises has judged to be the most at risk up to this point

iVampire I emailed my MP to make this very point. In March we weren't fit to go outside the house, but now it;s "Category 6 for you"...behind the chap next door who's had visitors, been to stay with family, played golf several times a week ...and helps us with our shopping!

MP said it was a fair point and he'd champion the cause of CEV people.

FuzzyPuffling · 25/11/2020 19:01

QueenPaws thank you. We'll have a go at anything...or back to the food bank for us!

QueenPaws · 25/11/2020 19:06

@FuzzyPuffling you have to have a delivery pass to see up to the 23rd but I just got the cheapest one which covers for 3 months. Hopefully that helps!

TheHobbitMum · 25/11/2020 19:09

As someone who is shielding (officially) this thread is awful, some of the replies are ridiculous

Madhairday · 25/11/2020 19:37

I'm so sorry @FuzzyPuffling. It's really hard. I get it.

I'm shielding and it does feel like time after time those of us who are vulnerable have been othered, minimised and blamed for the mess we're all in (all the 'why are we giving up our rights for a tiny minority of people who are going to die soon anyway?) - that kind of thing. I saw it right from the start and really hoped that thinking would fizzle out but instead saw it intensify and grow into a mainstream narrative, all along making those in vulnerable categories feel as if we simply don't matter.

Fwiw I don't think that is where the OP is coming from in this case but that's why we are responding in this way because we are so very weary of being made the scapegoats and the cause of this whole thing. For many of us it's simply contributed further to failing mental health when we're already coping with crappy physical health. It's rubbish all round and so many of us need a glimpse of a bit of hope and joy in the idea we might be able to see our families. I'm not sure I will as my mum is CEV as well as me, and the vaccine is coming soon so I don't really see the point of risking it. But I understand where many here are coming from Flowers

BeyondsConstantBangingHeadache · 25/11/2020 20:11

Re my official shielding reason, all my appointments this year have been over the phone (i was lucky enough to see the consultant the last week of feb, so I was set for a while). Afaik CV19 hasn't mutated to travel down phone lines. Yet. 😂

It's my "non-shieldable" problems that require GP monitoring, and that in the summer required a trip to A&E.

FuzzyPuffling · 25/11/2020 20:27

madhairday you do talk such a lot of sense. (Also on the Women Priests thread too - at least I think that was you!) Cheers!

LangClegsInSpace · 25/11/2020 20:46

DMum's shielding. Pretty much all her appointments got shifted to telephone and the regular blood tests she was supposed to have weren't done. That's how they missed that her chronic blood cancer had transformed into an aggressive form. She was fobbed off for months - her very rapid weight loss was explained away with 'perhaps you're feeling a bit low and not eating eating properly', her severe breathlessness and dizziness were dismissed as 'perhaps you're a bit anaemic, try eating more iron rich foods.'

After a LOT of insistence she managed to get a blood test done at home by the district nurse and visited the hospital once for a bone biopsy, leading to a prognosis of a few months left to live.

She is at least now getting drugs to control her symptoms, for which she needs monthly blood tests. These are still being done at home by the district nurse.

She had an opticians appointment because her sight was failing, at which we discovered that what we hoped was a treatable problem with her cataracts (she had them done last year), was actually macular degeneration.

So she's got a few months left to live and she's going blind and there's nothing they can do about either of those things so no, she is not having regular treatments or appointments 'alongside similar people' and she will absolutely be seeing family over christmas.

Three other family members are 'clically vulnerable' but they also don't have regular appointments or treatments.

Maybe don't generalise. Just a thought ...

LangClegsInSpace · 25/11/2020 20:53

@FourTeaFallOut

Wait....so, first I have to shield - not going outside at all for months on end - to save the hospital beds for healthy folk, then I have to shield but send all my kids to school or risk a fine, then although I'm in 2.5 million people shielding - I won't get a look in at the vaccine till group six, and now you'd like me to forgo having a Christmas like everyone else because if I do get sick I might make someone treating me sick?

Fuck all that for a game of soldiers.

So much this.
Madhairday · 25/11/2020 22:20

Thanks, Fuzzy! Yes, that was me.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/11/2020 22:35

@WwMILd
My bad, my fucking bad.
A daft phrase that teenagers have even stopped using.

You are a disgrace.

GalaxyCookieCrumble · 25/11/2020 22:58

I'm in the ECV list and have been shielding since March, i do not expect anyone to make any kind of concession for me, I would hate my family and friends not to go out in case they passed something on to me.

GalaxyCookieCrumble · 25/11/2020 23:03

@premiumhob

Nobody is actually shielding though. This is a really important fact that half of Mumsnet seems to be missing.
Well actually you are wrong, I am shielding, have been since March on advice by my Consultant, and just got another 3 shielding letters this month as well from NHS, Department of Health, and my local Council.
premiumhob · 26/11/2020 00:37

@GalaxyCookieCrumble

Well actually you are wrong

I know. I have known for over 6 hours now.

sleepwouldbenice · 26/11/2020 00:55

@QueenPaws

I ended up crying to my boss down the phone this week. Shielding since March, I go out for a drive and to get a Starbucks from the drive through so my car doesn't die, and sit and people watch for a bit First it was well the vulnerable need to shield, now it seems to be well the vulnerable need to be vaccinated I think be gentle with talk of shielding because if anyone CEV is like me, they're very very close to snapping
Please don’t think you have been forgotten. Not everyone felt you should just hide away or be grateful for a vaccination. Much love
IHaveBrilloHair · 26/11/2020 02:18

I'm really cross at it being said that nobody is shielding.
Of course they are.
It might not be sent out on a letter, but that doesn't mean it's not happening.
It just feels cruel not to acknowledge what some of us are doing just because its not "official".