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Original poster

Feeling confused about the Christmas bubbles....

46 replies

ThornAmongstRoses · 25/11/2020 07:35

Can someone explain the Christmas bubbles to me please?

I get we can mix three households, but does that mean three households can be under the same roof at the same time? Or that you can see two other households but on separate occasions?

It’s so hard at my end.....

My parents are divorced and both live alone, and my FIL also lives alone since MIL passed away.

We obviously want to see all of them and we just aren’t sure how to go about it.

Initial plan was that my dad was going to come over on Christmas Eve, FIL come over on Christmas Day and then my mom come over on Boxing Day.

If they come on separate days surely they aren’t classed as the same Bubble just because they’ve all seen me and my family?

But if it does - my DH has a brother so how does FIL go about seeing him and his family if he’s classed as being bubbled with my family?

The same with my parents....I have a brother, are they still allowed to see him if they’ve already bubbled with me and potentially my FIL?

I just don’t get it.

OP posts:

Original poster

ThornAmongstRoses · 25/11/2020 08:58

I’m already in a bubble with my dad, so was classing my mom and my FIL and the two other households.

It was my understanding that my theee family bubble would be my own (including my dad) and my mom, yet all of those people were free to mix with another household bubble as my house is just one of their three?

I.e My FILS two households would be me and DH, and his other son.

My dad’s two other households (he’s already in my bubble) would be my brother and his own sister.

My mom’s two households would be mine and my brother’s.

It seems this isn’t the case though?

OP posts:

MRex · 25/11/2020 09:00

No, that's not the case. As you have your dad the rest of the time perhaps he can go to your brother this once. Then you can have your mum and FIL, presuming that's ok with them.

Racoonworld · 25/11/2020 09:01

No it’s not the case. Three households in a bubble. That bubble is exclusive. No one in the bubble can see anyone else. You can only be in one bubble so once they are in yours that becomes theirs too. It’s no an open bubble, bubbles don’t work like that.

Original poster

ThornAmongstRoses · 25/11/2020 09:05

Then you can have your mum and FIL, presuming that's ok with them.

I would just feel really sorry for FIL that he couldn’t see his other son and his three other grandchildren just because I wanted to see my mom.

The whole thing is a nightmare and a lot of families are going to be put in really difficult situations.

OP posts:

ineedaholidaynow · 25/11/2020 09:12

Lovely as it would be to see all your family, we do have to remember why these rules are in place.

Vaccines are on the horizon, hopefully life will start to improve in a few months time. This year has been far from normal, so why can’t we all have a delayed Christmas when it will be much safer to mix with family.

KatyaZamolodchikova · 25/11/2020 09:16

It’s massively difficult. DH and I have agreed that we will continue with Christmas the way we planned, just us and DSD because we don’t feel it’s right having to pick my parents or his. Luckily both sets of parents are together and won’t be alone. Both of us have sisters too, so have to consider that in terms of any potential bubbles. My sister is in my parents bubble but SIL has a husband and kids and they have wider family to consider too. It’s so complicated. So we are just going to have a very small family Xmas the three of us. My dad is planning a massive BBQ in summer 🤞🏻 Instead for us all to get together and we’ll do something similar with DH’s family too when we can. It’s difficult but we just don’t want to pick

MRex · 25/11/2020 09:21

@ThornAmongstRoses - well, then you could bubble with FIL and DH's brother (if he and his wife are ok about not seeing in-laws). Your mum and dad then go to see your brother, and manage to be friendly for a couple of days. Somebody somewhere has to compromise, there's no need to make so much fuss about it.

Racoonworld · 25/11/2020 09:22

@ThornAmongstRoses

Then you can have your mum and FIL, presuming that's ok with them.

I would just feel really sorry for FIL that he couldn’t see his other son and his three other grandchildren just because I wanted to see my mom.

The whole thing is a nightmare and a lot of families are going to be put in really difficult situations.

Your FIL is free to choose his other family and not you if he wanted. We can’t all see everyone. As long as no one is alone on Christmas Day (unless they want to be) that’s the main thing.

KitKatastrophe · 25/11/2020 09:32

@ThornAmongstRoses

Then you can have your mum and FIL, presuming that's ok with them.

I would just feel really sorry for FIL that he couldn’t see his other son and his three other grandchildren just because I wanted to see my mom.

The whole thing is a nightmare and a lot of families are going to be put in really difficult situations.

Well he can see you OR his other son. That's his choice. Nobody is going to get to see everyone they want to but everyone will see someone.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 25/11/2020 09:39

@ThornAmongstRoses

Then you can have your mum and FIL, presuming that's ok with them.

I would just feel really sorry for FIL that he couldn’t see his other son and his three other grandchildren just because I wanted to see my mom.

The whole thing is a nightmare and a lot of families are going to be put in really difficult situations.

No the three households are supposed to be discussing it and agreeing the Christmas Bubble. Choices will need to be made.

It's not designed to allow everyone to see everyone they'd usually see, but to allow some getting together

Personally I think it's fucking nuts & people need to think MYCH more carefully.

Just because the Govt has said you can, doesn't mean you should!

Hospital admissions are going to be hideous in Jan & the resulting deaths!

Vaccines are on the way, can people not just wait a little longer? Patience now will mean many more Christmases in the future with loved ones.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 25/11/2020 09:45

Nobody is going to get to see everyone they want to but everyone will see someone

IF they MUST.

I won't be, the virus isn't going to take 5 days off, so it makes no sense to me to meet the people I care about most, a month or two before vaccines are being rolled out.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. It's just going to massively increase cases & deaths. The NHS is going to be on its knees mid-late January. It's madness.

Stay home, minimise the bubbling to those who really can't cope being alone, but consider the risk if those people are older or have underlying conditions.

Really consider what it's worth.

Original poster

ThornAmongstRoses · 25/11/2020 09:46

Well he can see you OR his other son. That's his choice.

It’s just a very difficult choice to make isn’t it - to expect a parent to choose between their children.

Personally I would be more than happy for me, my DH and our children to hold ourselves up and not see anyone - but all my family keep saying they want to come over so they can give the children the presents and watch them open them.

I heard on the news this morning how “Boris has saved Christmas” and my first thought was that he may have saved Christmas but he’s fucked up January and a lot of people and their families, and the NHS, are going to pay the price.

OP posts:

flissity · 25/11/2020 10:08

@LoudBatPerson Thanks for pointing that out!!
I should have read it properly and not skim read...

ineedaholidaynow · 25/11/2020 10:30

The NHS and schools are going to be on their knees in January/February @WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants

Inmyownlittlecorner · 25/11/2020 10:54

My key worker DH is working from 23rd-27th so we won’t be able to see any family until he’s off as we live over 2 hours away from everyone. If the 2 households we bubble with don’t see anyone else can we move our 5 days Covid free pass to after Christmas?!

MereDintofPandiculation · 25/11/2020 11:16

If they come on separate days surely they aren’t classed as the same Bubble just because they’ve all seen me and my family? No-one is allowed to be in more than one bubble.

So if you decide to bubble with A on one day, the only way you can spend a day with B is for them to be in the same bubble - because otherwise you'd be in two bubbles.

However, the usual tier restrictions will still apply, so you will still be able to see up to 5 people outside in public places, and maybe elsewhere if you're in a lower tier.

Racoonworld · 25/11/2020 11:19

@Inmyownlittlecorner

No that wouldn’t be allowed. Not sure whose going to police it though.

MereDintofPandiculation · 25/11/2020 11:19

If the 2 households we bubble with don’t see anyone else can we move our 5 days Covid free pass to after Christmas?! No.

Sounds like you're in the same situation as me - absolutely no benefit from the Christmas pass. My DS is temporarily staying with inlaws, so their Christmas will be a three-household bubble, no room for us in that bubble. And my DF is locked up in a nursing home. So we can't do anything over Christmas that we couldn't have done even in the March lockdown, but we'll still be subject to the longer period of restrictions that will result from all this mixing over Christmas.

Original poster

ThornAmongstRoses · 25/11/2020 11:31

I’ve just spoken to mom about it and she’s really upset at the thought of having to choose between me and my brother.

The thing is though, even if she did choose brother, there’s a whole big family on his side (and his partner’s family) who all want to see their relatives too.

I really wish the rule was that people who live on their own can go and spend Christmas Day with someone, but otherwise everyone else needs to just stay at home and have Christmas with who they live with.

It would make things so much easier.

OP posts:

ineedaholidaynow · 25/11/2020 11:42

But that's what you can do @ThornAmongstRoses, your DM sees one household so she is not on her own. There should be no guilt/upset that she is not seeing anyone else. Hopefully, in a few months time we will be able to see more people .

Sorry if I have missed it earlier up in the thread, but are they close to you geographically so you can meet outdoors somewhere, outside of the Christmas bubble period.

manicinsomniac · 25/11/2020 12:23

Why doesn't your mum come to you and your FIL go to see his son and grandchildren. Then your mum and FIL can come back together on the 27th and have their own Christmas then. It doesn't have to be the 25th. If there was a 5 day pass to see other family at another time of the year then couples wouldn't think twice about being apart for 5 days. But just because it's Christmas, people think they have to be together. They don't, they can 'do' Christmas at any other point when they're only allowed to see each other.

Although, I don't think I'd risk it personally. As vaccines are so close, I'd have Christmas at Easter. That's what I'm doing with my mum. Less sure about my grandparents who may not be here by Easter but there's too many in my family for us all to see them anyway so I'll probably just stay at home, just me and the children. It seems safer.

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