Finding today very difficult

[littlestpogo]

I think it’s the news about relaxation over Christmas but I’m really struggling today.

I’m a single parent and one of my kids has SEN which leads to him being very difficult at times. I work full time. I found lockdown very difficult. Although my kids go to the ex for one night and I try to meet a friend for a walk other than that I’ve realised I’ve become very isolated. The current restrictions mean I can’t meet another adult unless the kids are not there. But when they are in school I have to obviously work. I appreciate I’m lucky to have a job still but I’ve had to cut hours because of the school staggered drop offs. I did bubble with another single parent but she is very anxious and will only meet outside. Plus also works and is busy. My ex has a vulnerable child in his household which adds another layer of stress.

I just miss other adults. I’m not even a touchy person but I haven’t been touched by another adult since March and I am really really struggling. I miss talking face to face. I really worked to rebuild my life after my ex left and it feels like it has all been taken away.

The thought of Christmas was already a bit difficult and I know there would have still been restrictions but the fact they may need to be more severe in January I am struggling with. My eldest has had to self isolate and found it extremely difficult - particularly not being able to see his dad. My family live too far away to visit and my mum is very anxious anyway so wouldn’t want me to stay. I completely understand I’m a minority and my needs shouldn’t trump others but I just feel forgotten.

And I’m just so exhausted to my bones. It all feels a bit pointless.

It sounds really relentless and difficult for you and I take my hat off to you for coping. I'm not surprised you are struggling. I think so much talk of Christmas is very hard for anyone who doesn't have a large family or support network.

I think the whole having a child with additional needs thing means you have every right to break the rules. In fact please do - do what you need to get through this. We only need the majority to follow them for the virus to be kept under control and most people are given that cases are reducing now. You are likely not going to harm anyone by meeting another adult outside for a walk with your children in tow and even meeting indoors if a room is big enough is probably very low risk too. Can you find someone else to bubble with? Failing that, is there a local support group on FB where you can ask for phone support or for someone else to go for a walk with? So many people feel very isolated right now - I'm with you on the not having touched anyone for most of this year. I hugged one friend in July and that's about it. Humans aren't supposed to live like this. It's incredibly damaging.

Do what you need to get through this.

Thank you so much for your kind reply @TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair. I hope you are ok too.