Am I being over the top or DH?

[Butwhhhyyyyyyy]

Didn't know where to post this, alsomin chat, I am classed as extremely vulnerable to covid and at risk of severe complications if I catch it by doctors and told I should still isolate/shield. We are in Wales and have come out of lockdown now.

2 DC back at school and DH worked throughout all lockdowns. DH works alone 90% of time in his office (relevant)

Now lockdown is over he wants to start his 2 hobbies again. 1 with up to 15/20 people and the other alone/in a group. He says they will socially distance outside but distancing doesn't always happen.

He thinks I am being very unreasonable to ask him not to until I can have a vaccine and if docs want me to shield I should have another letter (doctors phoned me).

So am I being over the top or is he? Thanks

What are the hobbies?

YABU.

Yabu.
Your dcs are at school. Most certainly not distancing with God knows how many kids. But your dh as a grown man can't do his hobby where most of the time is outside and can distance.. 🤔

I think you're being over the top. Your children are in school not distancing and yet you're worried about 15/20 adults who can distance meeting up to do a hobby??

It sort if sounds like a case of sour grapes of im honest.

You must have had a very worrying year, so I think it's unfair to say you are being unreasonable. Could he just start the second hobby which sounds more distanced?

Outside is a substantially lower risk even if distancing is not perfect.

It is important for body and mind to continue with as many low risk activitied as is possible.

I would be more worried about your children being at school than your DH doing his hobby where he can be sensible regarding social distancing.

What are the hobbies?

Do the hobbies require him to get within 2m of someone for >= 15 minutes?

What harm will come to his mental health without having these outside interests? Does he have a good social support network otherwise? If you caught covid (from your kids, for instance) then he might need to rely hard on that network.

Is the hobby outside? I think if it is then the risk is very low. if it is inside, I think I would potentially be worried too. Are you in an area where cases are generally high?

I don't agree with people saying you're being unreasonable. I think he is. It's about minimising risk as much as possible. Are his hobbies really more important than your health? And there is probably a vaccine on the way soon, so he should hopefully not have to wait too long to resume them.

Could he compromise and just do the second one with fewer people? And stay outdoors for it?

I don't think you are unreasonable - school is exposure for a purpose. Hobbies are not necessary school is. He is increasing the levels of exposure (remember this is about repeat exposures) for no reason. We are in lockdown, he should only b meeting one other person outside of home

YANBU
DH is high risk and advised to continue to shield. I wouldn’t dream of mixing with people and putting him at risk.
Cases in our county have risen by 492 in the last week.

Missed the Wales bit.

I would also get confirmation even if email from Drs. My Dad is N wales and he has one of these

Thank you all, I maybe being unreasonable then, he would never not do his hobbies, they come before me, DC and everything else, always have. Yes DC at school is a necessity, 1 DC is also in the vulnerable category but for their mental health he is him school.

I will just have to pray he doesn't being home more than he already has (not dc they weren't in school) cold and flu so far which I was really floored by.

I will ask doctors for another shielding letter anyway.

As the saying goes, you have dh problem not a covid problem...

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all and if he decides to go ahead I’d try to keep your distance from him. My DH brought the virus into our house and gave it to me. It’s nasty. I think your DH is being selfish.