COVID Bubble?

[Whydidimarrythisfamily]

Hi,
My husband left me at the beginning of Covid. He has our dd age 8 alt weekends Fri after school til sun eve. Every Wednesday overnight and when he does not have her at the weekend on that Thursday evening.
Every time he has dd he travels to his parents family home in level 3 for the entire weekend. When I challenged due to Covid restrictions his parents came and stayed at his overnight. Our dd and i have additional health risks. He wants 50/50 but every time he has our dd there is a 4 hour round trip by car. Between counties in band 3 can he say this is his bubble even though his sister and her 3 children also live with his parents and the children are in completely different districts. I am worried that we are put at further risk from Covid. I am also worried as I had my Cafcass call and I felt so rushed and ended up flustered. I am so worried. Please advise

The fact he may be putting your Dd at unnecessary risk is definitely a concern. I can’t see that he’s breaking COVID rules though, assuming he is a single adult? He can bubble up with another household no matter how big that household is as far as I know.

I think all the tiers were surpassed by this lockdown so they don’t make any difference at the moment, nor do they make a difference to bubbles as I understand it.

However parents have to use their common sense and protect their children as they always had to!

There are no tiers any more, we are all in lock down. He is not breaching restrictions though if he has formed a bubble with another household, it doesn't matter how big the other household is. I do understand the added worry for you though.

Does he live alone when your daughter isn't there? Of so I don't think he is breaking restrictions by travelling to his family, although it seems a bit unfair if you and you daughter have health risks.
Unfortunately one of the things you have to get used to as co-parents is that sometimes the other parent does things that you wouldn't but isn't actually wrong. I know that's hard though, so make use of the support you have to rant about him to get it out of your system!

Thank you all x

Realistically if she is 8 she’s in school so a much bigger environment daily with no distancing and no idea of whether other children and parents are following the rules. It’s extra risk but if he lives alone he can have a bubble for support. Perhaps you could ask him not to whilst cases are high or just for the period of lockdown.

Not strictly true @milkysmum it's only England that's in lockdown, there are still tier levels in force in Scotland.
Children can still move between the homes of separated parents. I'm a bit confused though as to where he lives and how his parents fit into this......does he travel to stay with them when he has your DD because it's closer to your home? Assuming she's at school then a 4 hour round trip on a Wed / Thursday isn't feasible so short of him staying in a hotel with her those nights (which are also closed if you're in England) then I don't really know what your other options are.

He moved from the county where he lived with his parents to live with me at my house. We then married and had dd. He was in counselling as he had grown up in a narcissistic household as a child (golden child). But he felt that it had effected him very badly. The family have always had a scapegoat and suffer with the mental health issues caused by this. Unfortunately with time as with his sister and her husband. The choice is to be with your wife/husband OR your family. His other sister who is estranged and chose her marriage told me that the pressure from the family is overwhelming. (She had a breakdown). We are worried that my husband may have had one too but has decided to seek out other relationships. He was not a hands on father but wants 50/50 custody (I worked part time around being a full time mother and wife as this was what he expected prior to him changing his mind). I am heartbroken he does not look after her himself that's why his parents are always there in the week and he takes dd on the 4 hour round trip for the alternate weekends. The house he is renting is near her school like mine. He and his solicitor have told me to get a full time job now. Thank you for your comments

Ok, so if he has his own property close to your home and DD's school I would be seriously hinting that he spends his time with her there given the current government guidance.

@emmathedilemma
I suggest you have a look at the guidance regarding support bubbles and how he is perfectly entitled to have one and see them as much as he wants. It is completely unreasonable to tell the other parent what to do on their time.

I apologise but I obviously read the guidance no unnecessary travel to mean that you shouldn't be taking 4 hour long journeys outside your area and putting other people at risk of contracting the virus. (Including DD). Also working for the NHS I believed that these lockdowns were to avoid unnecessary strain on the NHS. (I do not work on the front line but I am concerned and do not think people should put their families and DDs at unnesessary risk). Obviously outside the Covid situation I absolutely agree with you.