Sister's husband travelling to UK- Self-isolating

[sundowners]

Hello
Could do with some thoughts on this please. My sisters husband is originally from Bangladesh and travelled back to be with his family prior to lockdown and has been there for past 5 months. He wants to now come back to UK before Christmas- fine. Thing is my sister (35) couldn't afford rent as lost her job, so is currently living with our mum, he'd live there too until they find somewhere else to live (next year).

My mum is 72 and on medication for arthritis putting her in the vulnerable category. She has been pretty strict with herself and us through all of this, obviously not coming over to do usual childcare/ we like most of country made sacrifices in not seeing each other much. I'm now pregnant - 9 weeks putting me in the moderately vulnerable category but we all hope (if allowed) to spend Christmas day together.
Today I said to my mum I totally assume she'll be asking DS husband to isolate for the 2 weeks in a hotel, before then moving back in with her- and my mum's saying no she feels he would be "too sad" in a hotel for 2 weeks so is going to allow him to isolate at her house from the get go when he arrives from airport.
Am I right to be fuming?? Putting my mum at risk- yes Bangladesh has pretty low rate- but flying over to UK/travel/airports definitely can raise risk of infection and then after most of this year all of us making sacrifices by not seeing each other- it can all be mucked up in an instant?

I would be worried about my DM in this situation so YANBU.

Does the room he would be self isolating in have its own bathroom?
I do know someone who works in nhs who caught Covid, lives at home with her mum and younger brother. Neither of them caught it and both tested negative for antibodies so, it is possible to keep your mums risk low, IF he stays in the room and your sister takes all precautions when delivering meals & picking up food trays from outside the door.

Thanks Runningoutofnamestochange. No- thats the thing- there is a main/shared/family bathroom on middle floor that they would both use. And I just cant imagine him being so respectful of the rules/or my mum enforcing it that he literally stays hollered up in 1 room the whole time. My sister would then pop in to see him as I know would happen and still be around house with my mum/go off to work (she's just got a new job) each day. I'm worried and angry,

I'd let him be sad for a couple of weeks - he's stayed away out of choice for months, he'll survive.

Thanks katy1213

Yes you are right to be furious! I would too! He's putting your mum in a situation that she can't control in her own home because he's @too sad".... well what about you are your mum who have no doubt been there for your sister when she was "sad" when he went away!
Sorry if I'm being out of term. If he quarantined separately, then fine but if he does this at your mums house I think that's really really rude and selfish!

Apparently planes are fine and if the area he is coming from has low cases I wouldn't personally be too worried. I wonder if he could get a test before flying to ease your worries? The airport, so long as he social distances, should be similar to us going to the supermarket here since cases are high here!
I can see why you're worried but they are all adults who can make their own decisions and risk assessments.

From the people I know who’ve flown recently they say 1) crammed together on planes zero social distancing- so it doesn’t matter how clean the air etc is- if you’re sat next to someone for a long hall flight and they have Covid- in all
Likelihood yes you’d get it

2. airports are still very busy. Queues at check in, queues at security, in restaurants, at the gate. In the tunnel at boarding. So many times you are tightly packed in with other people. A test before he leaves isn’t enough.

He should do the right thing- and your sister if she cared about her own mum over her needs would insist on this- and he should take several tests while in isolation there. A huge majority of travellers head straight to hotels to isolate- lots of London hotels offer isolation packages- send driver to airport to bring you straight to hotel. Don’t see why he should be any different and put your mum at risk.

He should stay in a hotel and he and your sister should suggest this themselves.

I'd only be happy with him staying in the same house if he had his own bedroom and bathroom and was willing to stay in his room with meals delivered to the door. If he's not then it would be a hotel or Airbnb for me.

"Planes are fine", Hugo? Really?

Can sister and her husband isolate together in a hotel for 2 weeks when he arrives?

Could he have a private Covid test on arrival? With a night or two in a hotel while he waits for the (hopefully negative) result? Not ideal, but something.

Thanks for the response. Update from my mum is-

she knows I am against this , but he is DS husband and wants nothing more than that they have a happy time together after a long separation. My DS new jobs means long hours so he'd be all alone in a hotel room . Of course he'd be alone for long stretches at my mums house too but from my mum "now and again in the house we will meet , with masks and distance, she can’t go out, just into our garden But our house is big enough and we make a timetable for who is downstairs and who is upstairs, when I am out and when I am in ......"

So to me she is putting needs of son in law ahead of her own health, and what her daughter is pleading with her- for her heath and all the sacrifice's we as a family have made this year, and now with me pregnant too. I'm close to saying fuck Christmas as if she wants to prioritise their little bubble over us- so close to Christmas, WTF is the point?

There now isn't a shortage of tests, so he needs to have a test wjen he arrives and one five days later. That'll, somewhat put your mind at rest.

It would piss a lot of people off because your Mum is one of the people who would possibly need hospital care and we are in lock down to protect our NHS.

Thanks Ponoka7. It pisses me off too, that she can be this Blasé about the situation, for fear of him being a bit out of sorts for 1-2 weeks as opposed to my mum staying fully safe and healthy .