What to do?

[muminbetweentwo]

My granddaughter M had a temp of 38.3 on 25th October. Mum (my younger daughter) rang 111 and was advised to get Covid tested. She arrived at the designated place on Monday and was advised just to have the test herself as test was traumatic for babies (7 months). She was negative.

Today my older daughter has tested positive (had test yesterday).

I had contact with both my daughters in between.

My older daughter had symptoms for 5 days before the her test - sore throat/headache and didn't book test until her sense of taste/smell went off on Friday.

We told younger daughter the result who has now said OMG we have to isolate for two weeks now that's really inconvenient. My older daughter then said she'd caught it from M.

Younger daughter said you caught it from your own daughter (A) who brought it home from school. (She hasn't had symptoms - but there have been cases in school.) My granddaughter A hasn't been at school for two weeks because of the cases in school.

My older daughter says that younger daughter might not have tested positive because M had it before her mother had it (she's since had sore throat/headache for a couple of weeks). Older daughter says M must have had it the week before her temp spiked and it must be covid because temp was over 38 degrees.

My older daughter believes Ms father could have given it to M as he plays in a grass roots football team and coaches under 12s and upwards. After these football sessions all adults go to the pub.

So the upshot is they're blaming each other for catching Covid. Now not speaking - I'm in the middle.

My older daughter is very vulnerable. Her third baby is due at end of this month. She now has to have fragmin injections for 10 days due to contracting covid in 3rd trimester. She now can't have a spinal block until effects of this wear off. Her first two children were two and three weeks early and after both she needed spinal block for manual removal of placenta. Her babies were early because of hEDS.

She was told to expect her third baby possibly earlier than the others due to her medical history and the fact that she had her last baby in January.

Now my younger daughter has stopped replying to my messages (I've been trying to be placatory with them both all day) because she feels I'm taking sides.

Is there anyway to get back on track?

I'm exhausted with it all.

Surely it's not possible to say where it came from?

I’m confused but like you say no way to tell

But your eldest did not have covid symptoms for 5 days given headache and sore throat are not covid symptoms

There is no one at to say where it came from but it all sounds a bit ridiculous. Surely if your older daughter was that worried about getting it she should have been sticking to the social distancing rules and not coming into close contact with people. It was her choice to see people so she needs to stop being angry with everyone and suck up the consequences of her decisions.

@Ginogineli

I’m confused but like you say no way to tell

But your eldest did not have covid symptoms for 5 days given headache and sore throat are not covid symptoms

That's what we thought so she didn't get tested. When she lost sense of taste/smell she booked a test.

Neither of them have the symptoms you would associate with a common cold - runny nose/sniffles.

We suspected covid with M because of temp over 38 degrees.

@Racoonworld

There is no one at to say where it came from but it all sounds a bit ridiculous. Surely if your older daughter was that worried about getting it she should have been sticking to the social distancing rules and not coming into close contact with people. It was her choice to see people so she needs to stop being angry with everyone and suck up the consequences of her decisions.

We were tier 1 before latest lockdown and met once a week as a group of six.

I think most people have been interacting more since help to eat out and since schools went back.

Sore throat, headache and loss of taste/smell all put together are symptoms.

@muminbetweentwo even in Tier 1 social distancing was required for meeting in groups of 6 or less. I just don’t think she can be angry at people when her choices to break the guidelines have led to her catching it. You’re family, everyone should be supporting everyone else not fighting about who gave it to who. I feel sorry for you stuck in the middle.

You need to just tell them both that yes it is shit but we need to move forward. It’s irrelevant where it came from now and you’ll never know. I can see why pregnant sister is worried but blaming sister won’t help; it will add to her stress levels

Do they usually fall out or is this uncommon?

There is no way to tell where it came from and there is no point blaming each other. However I would say that your elder Dd maybe should have not mixed with other people outside her household unless an emergency for a few weeks so to avoid this situation.

Stay out of it because when they make up, you will be the bad guy who ‘took sides’. They are both acting ridiculous, they could really have caught it anywhere, they both have children at school so had they not caught it off each other etc they could have caught it off each other. They are arguing about a situation nobody would have purposely done, it’s very immature. Send them this thread and tell them both to sort it out and keep you out of it, you want to concentrate on you all getting Better and the safe arrival of your new grandchild. All the best xx

They could have caught it off their schoolchildren instead** that was meant to say xx

Yes together they are symptoms but for those 5 days (before the loss of smell etc) she did not have covid symptoms so did not have to isolate so even if she did cause it, it clearly wasn’t intentional

@OverTheRainbow88

You need to just tell them both that yes it is shit but we need to move forward. It’s irrelevant where it came from now and you’ll never know. I can see why pregnant sister is worried but blaming sister won’t help; it will add to her stress levels

Do they usually fall out or is this uncommon?

Never had a cross word before.

They're both very supportive of each other - both struggle with hEDS (as do I). We are all best friends and very close normally.

Hope it blows over quickly.

Tbh just because you can do something does not mean you should.
One of my relatives is in clinical vulnerable group and has not eaten out once . Only met up outside and still did social distancing.

It doesn't matter who infected who... your older daughter chose to risk seeing you and may have caught covid as a result. That's not her sister's fault.

Equally she could have caught it elsewhere. There's a pandemic after all.

@Milkshake7489

It doesn't matter who infected who... your older daughter chose to risk seeing you and may have caught covid as a result. That's not her sister's fault.

Equally she could have caught it elsewhere. There's a pandemic after all.

She's been very careful - she's been on maternity leave all year, shops online, hasn't been on holiday in Britain or abroad - just seen immediate family, hasn't met with any friends only by zoom.

Her sister has also been on maternity leave since start of lockdown. She had to shield all through the first lockdown after her baby was born prematurely and in NICU for 5 wks.

We've all been particularly careful because of these reasons. Apart from her partner who coaches football (since restrictions relaxed in summer) and goes to the pub afterwards and the parents of the children at the local school who queue outside in the pouring rain to get in Wetherspoons.

Just bad timing - she needs to cross her legs and not go into labour until the fragmin is out of her system - that's why she's so worried.

Name change
So my daughter did go in labour whilst on fragmin although she was a couple of days out of isolation at least.
Her son was born at 32 wks.
He's still in special care and will be for a fair few weeks.