Lockdown and postnatal depression

[ibis17]

I have a 7 month old (my first) and postnatal depression, and am struggling to see a way through the England 4 week winter lockdown. I would love advice on coping with a baby when very limited outlets are on offer.

I live in London in a nice but tiny apartment (one small open plan kitchen living room and a bedroom). I share with my partner who works from home, also suffers from depression and he and I are currently slightly estranged. We both have GP support.

Until today I have been fighting the depression by seeing friends and keeping to a busy schedule. I usually go out and do 3-4 things a day (baby cinema, baby swimming, art galleries, museums, eating out, etc). We have also always used the local cafes and pubs as additional living spaces.

Among many, many inadiquacies, lockdown has made me feel like a bad parent because my baby won’t sit quietly in a sling or stroller so I can take walks with friends. She has a very busy personality and gets bored easily. Today, we went for a walk, and she screamed purple the entire time. She rarely naps as well, so there is no hour after lunch to myself while she sleeps.

I feel utterly hopeless and daunted by a day without the structure the non lock down world provides, but I also feel that I am a weak and bad parent because I can’t be cheerful and go for lots of long walks.

This morning, pair after pair of smiling mothers walked past me, babies calm in prams, while I sat in tears on a bench.

I have no close friends or family nearby so I am also alone for most of the day.

I feel at the end of what I can take and would hugely appreciate any advice or support.

Thank you.

Oh this sounds really tough. I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. Have you spoken to the doctor or HV about her crying? I wonder if it’s worth getting her checked over for reflux or anything else that could be making her so unsettled.
My advice would be to make use of your exercise opportunities to meet friends for a walk whenever possible - take a coffee in a thermos if it helps. Also look out to see if any of your local baby groups are doing anything online.
Touch base with your HV. It sounds really difficult, and four weeks feels like a long time - just keep in mind it is temporary

That sounds very though. Which part of London are you in? You could try the app Nextdoor to find someone to go for a walk with.

Hi OP, sounds really horrid. I can empathise somewhat, I have a 5 month old who really does not like the prom so will tolerate it for 5 - 10 minutes. She also WILL NOT sleep unless held and outside that requires almost constant playing and attention, so I have no time to myself and also no support as all family live far away. Though I do have a husband, who try’s to give as many breaks as possible.

I’m going to try

• attempting everyday, close to my flat going for a walk a few times, hopefully she might get better.
• I have found she will tolerate the baby born sling for up to 30 mins so I am going to progress with that and see if I can lengthen the walks.

Could you try meeting a friend somewhere outside for a termos of coffee. If you are both well wrapped up, your baby might tolerate being held for a little bit outside.

I hope you feel better and remember, it’s not forever and lockdown will end.