Having a toddler in lockdown is god fucking awful

[ivftake1]

I've finally cracked.

I'm so so so bored.

It's fine and it will continue to be fine but it's so shit.

OP It's very difficult at the moment. If you are a first time mum, there's nothing to do and nowhere to meet any other mums and you don't have the school run to break the day up. If you have older children, it's juggling all of them and their needs with school runs and the hope the schools won't close again and you'll misplace your final marbles.

As for going to the park when it's raining, it's OK sometimes but not enough to replace everything that is normally on. Plus it's going into winter. I don't why know people are mean about mums struggling with kids in lockdown, a lot of people are struggling this year in many different ways and we should have empathy for all of them, no matter what their struggles are.

I have a 3 and a half year old and a just turned 2 year old! It’s horrendous we had just got a normalish routine going....kids iPads and whatever they want on TV just remember we never planned to have young families in a global pandemic!!! Xx

You have my sympathies, I’m lucky dd has started reception because I’m just not enough for her, I’m a very poor substitute for other children and adults who get to go home when they’ve given their best for 6 hours.

Do you listen to podcasts or radio much? I highly recommend secreting an ear bud and listening surreptitiously to something to stop your brain melting while your playing with your toddler. I quite like LBC (even though it can be a bit daily mail) and radio 4. At least it feels like your getting some adult conversation.

I have a 2.5 year old and am 10 weeks pregnant with severe morning sickness.

I feel like I have slipped into a depression tbh with the last week in bed most of the day

[quote] olivesonapizza where are you? None of the play groups near me are open [quote]

I'm in West Yorkshire. There's a few open near me. Maybe this kind of thing is why our numbers are so high! 🤣

Totally agree OP. 30 weeks pregnant with SPD, DD is 2 and 3 months. All our usual groups are off, and I can't walk for more than 15 mins without getting very uncomfortable. Thankfully I can escape to work 2.5 days a week and DD can enjoy herself at nursery, so that's a saving grace! I really miss having the option to just pick
and choose an activity for the day.

Thing is, it's absolutely fine and normal not to want 'to do'. With the best will in the world, I am not three. I am 41. And at 41 I do not make an adequate playmate. I can do 30 mins of Lego or play doh and then I just run out of energy, or ideas.

It's shit. You have my sympathy.

It's true that 'parent support groups' ie toddler groups are allowed to be open but as a lot of PP have said none of them are around here. The council (who never even reopened the libraries or leisure centre with pool and soft play) have said categorically they aren't going to even think about it until next spring and none of the church groups are opening again, this may be down to insurances or the fact that the people who run them are elderly.

Who are these toddlers that will do one activity for hours?! Even my nearly five year old will only paint for a maximum of 4 and a half minutes before he runs off to do something else.

Parks are open. Bring a picnic!

Fuck. that. shit. It's freezing! It was foggy for most of the day where I'm at.

Sorry. I don't even know why I'm on this thread. I have an 18 year old on a crap gap year. But I think every mother remembers how soul-destroying the early years can be at times. But to have lockdown on top of just trying to keep body and soul together must be such an Everest climb. for you OP and all struggling mums right now.

Solidarity OP and other toddler parents.

Thankfully my eldest is 5 and at school (although only for 2 hours a day due to covid- not UK) and my youngest is 3 and goes to nursery 3 mornings a week. So I get 2 hours to myself 3 days a week and some structure to my days.

I do remember the toddler and newborn days though. It’s brutal without a pandemic. Play group and soft play and meeting friends kept me sane. Taking a single toddler to the park by yourself is boring as fuck. Especially when you do it every single day

My 3.5yr son wet himself today in the park through bloody toddler suit then had a meltdown wanted to proceed onto all equipment naked in about 10 degrees. Also had my older and younger pre schoolers with me. We are not even in a high transmission area I really am going to be stupidly struggling.
Last time was bad but it was manageable with the spring weather.

We won’t be going to the park. It’s bloody cold and wet, we’ll catch our deaths, and most of the playground equipment has been removed for winter anyway. We won’t be going for country walks either - I don’t feel safe when there’s nobody else around, anyone could attack me or DC. If it’s a dry day we walk around the streets and say hello to dogs in people’s gardens, or we play in our own back garden, but that only fills an hour before we’re freezing. An activity like stickers or playdoh fills another half hour. Then we’re back to watching Netflix. I worry about how it’s impacting DC’s development.

Cbeebies and Netflix on an alternating rota. But beware the other thread which talks about how bad telly is for kids....

Second the five min mum book-just been isolating with one the same age and planning easy activities for them saved us all.

My sympathies. Thank God I'm long past the toddler years, but I have not forgotten. Indeed, when I see a lovely squishy baby that makes my ovaries twitch, I have to mutter the word "toddlers" until the feeling passes.

Oh how well I remember the long, cold winter of a 2yo, SPD and crutches. Oh and the 2yo had undiagnosed ASD (and the other kind of SPD!) Then there was the birth injury but at least that was finally spring and then there was two rounds of chicken pox to quarantine for. It was summer by that point.
Oh the memories...

So toddler mums of 2020, respect to you.
This too shall pass... eventually...

I have a 2yo and I was lucky to get a p/t nursery place for her to start this September, so she's kept busy 3 days a week. We usually go to a music class and a gym class on the other weekdays, but both of those have shut. I've found another music class which has been able to continue, so I've booked that for next week, and I've made a list of parks to go to (big country type parks) to spend the day on the other day, and at weekends. Last lockdown we restricted ourselves to local urban parks but I think we need to get out into more open space now.

Personally I can't stand staying in the flat with her all day, DH is wfh in the living room, we don't have a garden and I just end up going crazy with all the mess and trying to set up activities. Far easier to pack up some lunch for the day and get outside. It's looking dry for the next week, and I don't mind being out in the cold as long as it's not raining too much and we're all dressed for it. We'd normally be at museums/theatres/galleries through the winter, we'd booked tickets for the next couple of weekends to different museums! All cancelled now of course.

Anyone who thinks it's lots of fun being locked down with a small largely irrational creature, I have a spare one. BOGOFF offer

Oh God, someone has suggested baking at home.

I did baking at home with two kids a while back.

I made breakfast, ate breakfast while I mopped up spills and picked things off the floor, then I cleaned up breakfast (as I cleaned the toddler ran around systematically trashing other things in the house).

We got the baking things out and did all the baking shit.

Then it was time for lunch. I made lunch, we ate lunch while I mopped up spills and picked things off the floor, then I cleaned up lunch (as I cleaned the toddler ran around systematically trashing other things in the house)

We finished the baking shit, mess all over every inch of the room by now. Iced the cupcakes. More and more and more mess. Any attempt to clean up thwarted by the toddler running around scribbling on walls, smearing lipstick on the couch etc.

FInally got things cleaned up. Then it was time for dinner. I made dinner, we ate dinner while I mopped up spills and picked things off the floor, then I cleaned up dinner (as I cleaned the toddler ran around systematically trashing other things in the house)

More cleaning up. Dragging them into bed. Once they were asleep, FINALLY, I had to go and take care of all the washing, laundry folding and other shit I hadn't had time to do all day.

As I collapsed into bed, I looked back over the day and realized that literally the entire day had been spent doing housework. The whole day. I had basically had no more than a few minutes break from clearing up and cleaning from the moment I got up to the moment I finally went to bed.

I am on a due-date group and a lot of mums have said they are rethinking the idea of having a second. They are miserable and are also angry at the way mothers and young kids have been chucked under the bus in this pandemic.

Oh yes, and let's all take a moment to think about the joys of managing potty training or nappies combined with winter clothes and puddle suits and lack of public toilets available and driving rain cold and all clothing getting soaked anyway.

So Much Fun.

Share your pain. I do love a good puddle jump but then you come indoors and everything is muddy. Buggy is filthy. Floor is filthy. Puddle suit is filthy. Wellies are filthy. Child is filthy and wet, somehow, despite having been almost entirely wrapped in plastic clothing.

Luckily mine loves the bath, he’s only just rising 2 though. He absolutely loves those squirty shower foams, the Radox tropical one was on sale for a quid recently so I stocked up. I stick him in the bath with loads of plastic pots and he sits pouring foamy water from one place to another.
I don’t even mind how wet the bathroom gets because it is better than the endless sea of mud and debris from tramping around outside.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4055541-To-be-worried-about-staying-sane-stuck-inside-all-winter-with-a-2-year-old?messages=100 This is the original thread that had 2,500 people saying "Get a puddle suit" to the OP.

And others saying that back in their day, toddlers just sat at home all day with mum anyway and toddlers don't actually need any human interaction with anyone else. Oh really? The older people I know with memories of that time are pretty adamant that most mums in the post-war period were in and out of each others' houses all the time, in the local shops, in the parks.

@Kokeshi123

I am on a due-date group and a lot of mums have said they are rethinking the idea of having a second. They are miserable and are also angry at the way mothers and young kids have been chucked under the bus in this pandemic.

I can't say I blame them. The only people I know who are currently expecting are first timers.

I don't see anyone else adding to their current families any time soon. Let's face it, it's already really shit, no ones going to knowingly make it just as shit but with all the extra difficulty of an added newborn.

That's not the case round my way little - older parents, those with infertility issues, women who have suffered losses... there are people who don't have the luxury of pausing things for a year or longer.

Feel your pain. I have a 16 month old and I so miss the playgroups I’d be going to with him, all still shut. We’re fairly hardy and will go to the park in all weather but still....he gets whiny and over it more quickly now the weather is colder. And not much point going with a friend as the toddlers wander off in totally different directions. School run is the highlight of my day too and I so look forward to my other two coming home. All the suggestions of creative activities fill me with dread and I feel like baths in the middle of the day and things like that will just be confusing for him. Guess I need to up my game!