Friend told to continue shielding but has school aged children.

[ladybirdm]

Hello, I am asking if anyone is in a similar situation and how they are dealing with it.

My friend is extremely vulnerable and has been advise to continue to shield. Her husband has continued to work from home.

She has two boys that are 12 and 14. She initially sent them back to school but she was concerned about some procedures. They said they would make adjustments for her sons but they didn’t and she has now withdrawn them again. She is now being threatened with fines.

She is also really concerned for their mental health as they are all stuck indoors with only a small garden.

Her mental health is declining due to conflict within the house with her sons using devices and being online. Her husband is very concerned about her getting the virus which can be perceived as controlling and her anxiety levels are spiralling.

I want to be able to advise her and support her but I feel if she knew other people who were in a similar situation she won’t feel so isolated.

I’d really appreciate your thoughts?

Can she withdraw them and home educate? Or can either she, or the kids move elsewhere while cases are on the rise? The kids need an education, especially the older DC.

I have PMed you. I would advise anyone in this situation to join BRTUS

www.facebook.com/BRTUS.ParentsUnited

They have been very supportive (even though we are still sending the kids to school, I found it helpful to have a connection with them).

She can home teach, but I think the other one is suffereing being isolated.

She doesn’t have family she can stay with afford to move out... also she is concern the family could cope without her.

I didn’t think there is any solution but interesting to know how other people are managing? Xx

Surely the children are old enough to go outdoors on their own. No reason they should be stuck indoors, they could be out having bike rides together or having a kick about in the park when other children are at school so they aren't seeing anyone else

Very unfair situation all round but even more so for the 2 children especially at their ages they need to be socialising for their own mental health. One of mine really suffered mentally when they were off for 6 months and they are only a little younger then the 12 year old. Is there no family locally they can stay with so that they can still go out and socialise?

Not ideal at all but can she socially distance from her dc in the so they can continue to attend school.

It is a crap situation to be in.

Hey, thank you. They have been out on their own, only to find they had visited shops. She feels that they disregard the risk....

I don’t think staying with another family is an option for them for various reasons...

Xx

They’re old enough to not invade her personal space without understanding (like a 4 year old might) so can they not just go to school but wash hands as soon as they get in, and distance themselves from her in the house as much as possible?

My dad is ECV and my sister is 16 and still goes to school as she’s in gcse year- he just distances himself from her In the house and if they need to be up close then they both wear masks. I appreciate there is still a risk but it’s very minimal with distancing and proper hygiene.

I can understand her keeping them off school but its not healthy to keep them indoors indefinitely thats not good for anybody. Excerise and fresh air will be good for all their mental/emotional and physical well-being your ECV friend included.
It sounds as if tensions are already strained keeping everyone cooped up together all day every day is a recipe for disaster, even prisoners are allowed out for daily exercise.

They have been out to the park today and are hoping to do that again....

However everyone who has kindly replied is not living with a life or death situation and which is better... a bit of hardship now or the boys not having a Mum for the rest of their lives.

Is anyone on here in a similar situation? Or knows of anyone?

Thank you Catlover10.

111 said if one has it it’s very likely they will all get it ....

Child where I teach is in this situation.

Parents extremely anxious BUT their child was suffering big Time being at home. MH deteriorating rapidly and an only child so no other contact with people their age.

Child now comes to school. Strict regimes for washing hands and cleaning uniform and some social distancing at home. Mum said home life has improved.

Kids can bring home anything, not just coronavirus. I'd recommend back to school with cleaning etc when they get home. This could go on for another year, is it fair to deny them human contact for that long?

We are to a degree. Dh is ECV annd we have 3dds. School have basically said if kids don't attend we have to fine you so they attend. We try to sd as much as possible. We are lucky though as as far as I an aware no cases in school.

Dh hasn't been advised to continue shielding though.

I am in the clinically vulnerable group and was advised to shield. I haven’t. Dh has to work outside the home (data protection database issues) and have two dc, aged 17 and 8 - youngest has special needs and attends complex needs school. There is no way I can shield. Oldest dc is practically an adult and wants her life back. Youngest dc needs the routine and structure of school for mental health reasons. So on I go. I just do everything I can to be super careful. Wash hands, clean the house top to bottom, don’t go anywhere except supermarket. Etc etc. Just hope for the best really. We may never get a vaccine and may be in this situation long term. I can’t put my family through being prisoners in their own home indefinitely, practically or emotionally.