The ultimate Mumsnet lockdown

[Rushjob]

Let’s have a bit of fun. Given the hysteria from some on here. What do people see at the ultimate Mumsnet lockdown?

I’d guess everything shut apart from Hospitals, Police and Fire plus associated services.

People forcibly locked in their homes and doors/windows welded/sealed shut

Delivery of pasta once per week nothing else.

I suspect some would want all TV channels to either shut of just be relays of BBC News 24 to keep up the brainwashing and panic levels.

There were people suggesting that milk was non essential.

I also remember someone suggested that a dentist wasn’t essential on one thread where someone was in chronic pain and couldn’t be seen.

Could alcohol not come under Essential Medical Supplies?

It did for my nain (grandmother) who would never touch a drop of alcohol. Apart from the occasional Medicinal Brandy, which was different.

So I think we should commandeer Wetherspoons to supply free Medicinal Brandy to teachers. And of course Teacher's Whiskey,. This would be a National Service that should be an Essential Requirement of them being allowed to remain open.

In the event of a brandy and whiskey shortage then substitutions would be allowed

@herecomesthsun

Could alcohol not come under Essential Medical Supplies?

It did for my nain (grandmother) who would never touch a drop of alcohol. Apart from the occasional Medicinal Brandy, which was different.

So I think we should commandeer Wetherspoons to supply free Medicinal Brandy to teachers. And of course Teacher's Whiskey,. This would be a National Service that should be an Essential Requirement of them being allowed to remain open.

In the event of a brandy and whiskey shortage then substitutions would be allowed

I support this fully.

I would like Rum though please.

It is definitely am Essential Service.

But I'm confused now. Am I allowed in school or not or do I just get the drink and do nothing?

@IrmaFayLear

I think it would be illuminating to mine the threads of six months ago and show that there were indeed posters screaming that people were murderers for going for a walk, “lives before the economy” and I do remember those saying that loo rolls weren’t essential...

People use their left hand in some parts of the world. We could have a public health campaign (because this government is so good at those) informing people what to do, if loo paper becomes hard to come by (for any reason, not mentioning B***).

We could have some slogans, as they're good at that. Any ideas?

After all, we're all washing our hands lots aren't we?

And we appear to have a lot in common now with what used to be called Third World countries.

New Slogan.

“We have a route, we have a plan, wipe your arse with your hand (face space)”

Shoulders, Knees and Toes.

@Rushjob

New Slogan.

“We have a route, we have a plan, wipe your arse with your hand (face space)”

Shoulders, Knees and Toes.

That is MUCH clearer and easier to understand than any of the slogans that have been put out there so far.

I'm going for a nandos.

Lots of idiots on here in early lockdown would have had us all sitting alone in darkened rooms putting cheese or butter in our coffee as milk was a non-essential purchase.

That is possibly part of what an MN approved lockdown would look like.

Not hard to spot who were/are bullies on this thread. It's pretty nasty to sneer, make jokes about and laugh at people who were/are likely very scared and/or vulnerable.

@OpheliasCrayon

It is a firmly held tenet of Mumsnet belief that Teachers Did Nothing In Lockdown, so, since this is the ultimate Mumsnet lockdown, you really should follow the brief.

Leave the teaching to the Management Consultants, please.

The lack of compassion for people’s different anxiety levels, for those of us grieving or those of us high risk or with high risk loved ones is in very poor taste. I completely understand humour as a coping mechanism. I get it, honestly. I also know how much it helps to ‘other’ a group who think differently, but we’re all just trying to get through this. We should be doing that with compassion and humour, not kicking out at each other and making unnecessary digs. I know not everyone here is doing that, but many are. It’s not nice. Show a little empathy ffs.

@Dutypaid

Not hard to spot who were/are bullies on this thread. It's pretty nasty to sneer, make jokes about and laugh at people who were/are likely very scared and/or vulnerable.

I dunno, I think Us4Them and UKIP can stick up for themselves?

I like that the joggers and their clouds of Covid being exhaled has got a mention that was another Lockdown Classic.

Any people’s who’s house front on to the street still not sitting within 2 m of the front wall to socially distance from people in the street?

[quote herecomesthsun]@OpheliasCrayon

It is a firmly held tenet of Mumsnet belief that Teachers Did Nothing In Lockdown, so, since this is the ultimate Mumsnet lockdown, you really should follow the brief.

Leave the teaching to the Management Consultants, please.[/quote]
I cannot argue with The Rules. I suppose.

I went rum though.

Oh. I thought this thread would be an amusing one about Mumsnet Essentials in a lockdown.

Turns out it’s just another dickish sneer.

@Sevensilverrings

The lack of compassion for people’s different anxiety levels, for those of us grieving or those of us high risk or with high risk loved ones is in very poor taste. I completely understand humour as a coping mechanism. I get it, honestly. I also know how much it helps to ‘other’ a group who think differently, but we’re all just trying to get through this. We should be doing that with compassion and humour, not kicking out at each other and making unnecessary digs. I know not everyone here is doing that, but many are. It’s not nice. Show a little empathy ffs.

Fyi I'm ECV and a teacher and still working and so at risk every day that I go to work, I am an SEN teacher and therefore there is absolutely nothing I can do to protect myself.

Ophelia, I’m not sure what your point is? Does your reality give you a reason to loose compassion for other people’s?

@Sevensilverrings

Ophelia, I’m not sure what your point is? Does your reality give you a reason to loose compassion for other people’s?

No. But can you tell me how I deal with my own stresses? Someone on this thread has made a joke, they're also a teacher. They are well aware of the risks we actually face. They also know a little about me because we have both commented on the same teaching threads a lot. How dare you tell me that I cannot deal with what I do every day, by making a joke. I've said I'd like a drink, and a nandos. Come on get some perspective.

All road closures to be done using penguin bollards.

I don't care what happens as there's wine & my cleaner is still allowed to come round!

I guess the people who are complaining at teachers making jokes are the same people who had a massive go at nurses for trying to get some light relief from the absolutely hideous situation they found themselves in during the first wave, by dancing.

Yes. Humour is a way of coping. No, it doesn't mean none of us give a shit.

Im not complaining about teachers making jokes, or nurses or anyone making jokes....crack on.

Most of the 'jokes' on this thread though are pretty crap, and let's face it are just the same old, same old hyperbole of....'people have delighted in saying lockdown was too lax and now saying they want another one...', stoopids washing their shopping, and bored SAHM begging for schools to shit, hysterical neurotic (mum's again?...thought so..) with too much time on their hands and people unable to hold a more complicated thought than...people like you could spare a thought for people who have lost everything in this - jobs, homes, businesses, sanity! (because it's all either/or, black/white, getting on with it/cowering in fear)

It's just so fucking bleh.

When the lockdown was announced there was a thread asking about separated parents and whether children would be able to travel between households.
Poster after poster saying IN CAPITAL LETTERS this is not essential travel, the children need to stay with the other parent for the entirety of the lockdown.
Some honestly seemed to delight in sharing that misinformation even though it was obvious that further detail would emerge over the next day or so. It was such an unsupportive and unsympathetic thread.
How long was lockdown in the end??
So I guess the mumsnet lockdown would include parents and children being separated as travel to collect them would be non essential.

There are some really sneery/ goody MN posters that sound like they are living in Russian warehouses and posting misinformation on Twitter all day.

Sadly I think it’s just a lot of people who have been listening to the above... how depressing

*goady

Only the other day a poster was saying it was too bad about lost jobs/careers, but, hey, there were new opportunities for delivery drivers and in hand sanitiser manufacture. And I’m afraid they were quite serious.