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Really worried now

40 replies

ConcernedAuntie · 28/10/2020 09:43

We have been so careful during all this. Wiping down washing, the lot. On Sunday I threw caution to the wind and went to met up with a friend I hadn't seen since January for a coffee and a catch up. We sat at a table for 4 so that we didn't sit opposite each other, wore masks until sitting down, sanitized, etc She has just phoned me to let me know that her husband has this morning received a positive covid test and she is on her way to try and get tested. He obviously hadn't been showing symptoms when she met me or she would not have come. DH and I will of course not be going out anywhere now but I am so scared. I am late 60s. This is the first time I had met anyone else and I feel so stupid. Why did I go? I dropped some shopping off for an elderly neighbour yesterday afternoon. I only stepped inside her door to drop the bags off but wshat if I have given it to her? If I get through this I'm not going out again until there is a vaccine. What are my chances of having caught it?

OP posts:
ConcernedAuntie · 28/10/2020 15:16

Does your friend have symptoms? I thought you were only meant to get a test if you had symptoms even if living with someone positive

She's a community nurse, so it is relatively easy for her to get tested. This will be her fourth test.

Why aren't you still exercising as that would be a really good way to keep yourself healthy?

I am still exercising. Zumba and pilates haven't been running but I am doing an on-line aerobics class twice a week. Running difficult now as it has to be across fields and the tracks are ankle deep in mud at the moment, but I have been trying to walk 3-4 miles every day. I went back to the gym when they were allowed to open but things like cross-trainers and treamills were not even 1 metre apart and I didn't think jogging next to someone else breathing heavily at that distance was very wise.

If she did have it, the chances of her infecting you at a 1m distance are 13%, so you have an 87% chance of not catching it.

This is very reassuring, thank you very much for that.

I'm trying to be sympathetic but seriously, you need to get some perspective. You are overreacting massively.

You are perfectly entitled to your views. However, worrying that I may have inadvertantly passed on a potentially deadly disease because I wanted to meet a friend for a catch up doesn't sit well with me. I have already contibuted to one persons death because I didn't know I was coming coming down with a flu-like illness. I don't want to repeat that feeling.

OP posts:
10questions · 28/10/2020 15:23

Is what you did allowed within the rules In your area? I’m in Wales so I can’t meet anyone at the moment.

I ask not to catch you out but I do think if you are following all the advice and rules for your area, what else can you do? You can’t have any quality of life if you stay in forever.

Delatron · 28/10/2020 15:30

Why have you waited until now to socialise? Cases were so low in July, that was the time to get out and about and see people. I have another vulnerable friend who has done this. Literally didn’t leave the house since March. Just seen that they’ve gone away for the week and are in pubs/restaurants.

I don’t get the risk assessment there! I relaxed over summer (I’m not vulnerable). I was happy to eat in restaurants and travel abroad. Now I’m being a bit more careful as cases in this area rising.

Not helpful now I know! Just not getting the thinking.

I’m sure as she didn’t have symptoms you are most likely to be fine though.

TheDailyCarbuncle · 28/10/2020 16:39

@ConcernedAuntie

But on a personal level the actual risk to you is very very low.

Actually, my risk is not very low. I have kidney disease and high blood pressure. In normal times I gym twice a week, run, zumba and pilates so not affected on a day to day basis but the fact remains that I do have 'underlying health' issues.

I am also worried if I do have it who I pass in on to. My husband is mid 70s and I try to give my elderly neighbour some distanced support. It is not just me I am worried about.

Your risk is very low. There are thousands of very frail and unwell 80+ year olds who have had covid very mildly or without symptoms and who are absolutely fine. There is a far far higher chance that you will be perfectly ok. If you get it you may feel ill for a time but then you'll recover just like many millions of other people. In normal times if you were this worried about such a low risk, you'd be considered to have serious health anxiety that's disrupting your life. The mass hysteria about covid has encouraged people to think and behave in ways that would typically be considered abnormal and worrying.
Walkacrossthesand · 28/10/2020 17:14

Added to which, I bet your high blood pressure is controlled because you take the medication that has been prescribed for you. Also, I suspect your 'kidney disease' is something that showed up as a slight elevation of numbers on a routine blood test, and has nudged you into a category called 'CKD' - rather than someone on dialysis or waiting for transplant? As 'health issues' go, these are very minor, very common, and affect a lot of us old gimmers- yet we still mostly recover without hospital treatment if we get Covid! Risk assessment is a very complex thing, not often addressed in the news headlines.

DarceyDashwood · 29/10/2020 08:04

Just to add that it might be worth you checking out alternative gyms as while some are obviously a bit relaxed in terms of social distancing many are absolutely on it!

My gym has spaced all the gear out 2 metres apart and for group ex classes you are in your own 3metre by 3metre grid.

Feels very safe - perhaps you could try to look at other gyms (I know from my own health anxiety perspective that if I am exercising regularly I feel so much better and more in control)

Try to not worry About things which haven’t happened yet. Right now you don’t have symptoms and you don’t have a positive Covid test. Try not to worry about hypothetical situations - IF you start to feel unwell then Take it from there Flowers

ConcernedAuntie · 29/10/2020 11:00

Just this minute had a call from my friend to say her test was negative which is great news. However her daughter has tested positive so she is expecting to get it at some stage. Her husband is not doing well at all. He is on oxygen in hospital and if he does not pick up they are talking about ventilation. She is worried sick. He is only 49. I feel so sorry for them all.

I will h

OP posts:
ConcernedAuntie · 29/10/2020 11:07

@DarceyDashwood

Just to add that it might be worth you checking out alternative gyms as while some are obviously a bit relaxed in terms of social distancing many are absolutely on it!

My gym has spaced all the gear out 2 metres apart and for group ex classes you are in your own 3metre by 3metre grid.

Feels very safe - perhaps you could try to look at other gyms (I know from my own health anxiety perspective that if I am exercising regularly I feel so much better and more in control)

Try to not worry About things which haven’t happened yet. Right now you don’t have symptoms and you don’t have a positive Covid test. Try not to worry about hypothetical situations - IF you start to feel unwell then Take it from there Flowers

Thanks Darcey.

We live very rurally so there are not too many gyms to choose from locally without having to travel. My husband left one and came to mine just before Christmas because he said it wasn't very clean! Will have another look round though.

As you say, it is good to try and keep as fit as you can. I am quite enjoying the walking at the moment though.

OP posts:
Rabbitholebonkers · 29/10/2020 11:29

Aww please don’t panic too much. My mum manages a care home and plenty of people with extensive underlying and above 80 have all survived. The large majority were fine. Flowers

MagicSummer · 29/10/2020 11:44

OP - I completely understand your worries. I am mid 60s and scared stiff of catching this thing as I know I would not fare very well. I haven't met up with anybody at all since March apart from my very elderly aunt who lives alone and relies on me for things. I just don't understand why we (I don't mean just the UK, but all badly-affected countries) can't seem to get on top of the infection rate. I am supposed to be going to a wedding next week and really, really don't want to go and mingle with another 13 people!

MotherOfDragonite · 29/10/2020 12:26

I am so relieved for you! I would have been worried too.

I think you are quite right about the gyms. There was a case in Canada recently where they had Covid transmission at a spinning class despite extensive "Covid-safe" measures. They think it was because it was not ventilated well enough.

I am seeing this as an opportunity to enjoy new types of exercise! I go out on my bike for about 4-8 miles a day and do an online yoga class. One of the really nice things I have noticed is that there are many more online dance classes available if you want to try something new!

Delatron · 29/10/2020 12:44

Yep I’m pretty relaxed and don’t fancy a fun at the moment. You can have as many COVID safe measure as you like but ventilation is key. If doors and windows aren’t open I wouldn’t feel happy huffing and puffing with loads of other people right now.

Just went for a run in the rain. Refreshing! And yes lots of online classes.

Delatron · 29/10/2020 12:44

A fun?! A gym.

ScribblingPixie · 29/10/2020 12:45

I'm very pleased for you, OP, though sorry to hear about your friend's husband.
I'm doing online Tai Chi to combine with walking, but still need to find something for strength.

rainbowunicorn · 29/10/2020 17:47

@GirlCrush

Hopefully you’ll all be fine op

But really, this is how it spreads. It’s how it works. Not much you can do now but I’d get a test

Can you explain your reasoning here? I am very confused as to why you think that someone who has had no contact with a positive case and is not displaying anhy symptoms shoudl get a test. What do you think will be acheived ?
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