In your experience, are men less likely to follow the rules?

[lavenderlou]

DH and I are at odds over the rules, especially regarding testing. A couple of weeks ago I was identified as a close contact of someone who had tested positive. I had had bad cold symptoms that week and within a couple of days developed a cough, so booked myself a test and also one for our DD who started coughing. DH (a teacher) was really annoyed because he then couldn't go into school while we waited for the results (which came back negative). He moaned and complained at me for going for a test as it was stressful for him work-wise.

Then after that someone in DD's class tested positive so she was told she has to isolate for 14 days. No problem for him as he can go about his everyday business. But yesterday she developed a high temperature. She was still feverish this morning so I booked a test. It doesn't particularly impact on our week as she is in isolation until Wednesday anyway so we didn't have anything planned and he is on half-term so doesn't have to go to work. Yet he still moans at me, tells me it's a waste of time and resources as she had a negative test 10 days ago, which according to him means she can't possibly have Covid now. I've shown him all the guidelines and info about the incubation period but he just dismisses it all. I'm sure the chances are very small, but it seems the responsible thing to do, especially as we have plans to meet my aging parents at the end of the week.

Now I would just put this down to DH being a bit of a twat, but having spoken to some friends whose children are also isolating this seems to be a common theme, with the husbands/male partners not wanting to keep the kids indoors and in another case, not wanting a child with symptoms to be tested because they had a day out planned that he wanted to go on. It made me wonder whether women in general are more likely to follow the rules. I think we are generally considered more cautious and rule-abiding? Or maybe I just know a few irresponsible men. Or everyone is fed up of the rules now and is doing their own thing.

I still maintain DH is being irresponsible though.

I have to say "have you got your mask?" to my DP when he leaves the house. He looks at me with utter confusion sometimes as if to say why would I need a mask, then the penny drops

Yes... house full of men here (DH and DS)

I also think they are also just less educated aware about what the rules are.

DH definitely tries to 'fit' them around what he wants to do and then its up to me to point out the inconsistencies.

This summed it up for me well :
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/man-is-tier-3-in-week-but-tier-1-on-weekends-20201023201789

In my experience, no. Where I live, it appears to be women over 70 who are blatantly ignoring rules. Admittedly, I live in a sheltered housing scheme so it's definitely a skewed sample where age is concerned.

DH definitely tries to 'fit' them around what he wants to do

Sounds very familiar! I also had to buy him face masks and remind him to take them everywhere.

@BamboozledandBefuddled

In my experience, no. Where I live, it appears to be women over 70 who are blatantly ignoring rules. Admittedly, I live in a sheltered housing scheme so it's definitely a skewed sample where age is concerned.

Earlier in the pandemic I felt that some of the over 70s I met were a bit dismissive, I suppose having lived through many difficult eras. That seemed to change a bit when it became clear that age was the most significant factor in how badly you were affected. My own parents in their 70s are very cautious, my Dad more so than my Mum in fact, although he is older and has an underlying health condition.

No difference in this household.

I do find it a bit concerning that as a teacher your DH either doesn’t understand the rules/how COVID infects/timescales etc or doesn’t care about potentially taking it into the classroom.

I read some research which identified young men as the biggest rule-ignorers.

My DH is also incapable of staying in the house. He’s a key worker so didn’t have to luckily but both dc are currently isolating following (separate) positive cases in school and I have informed him in no uncertain terms that if either of them start showing symptoms he will have to stay home. No “nipping“ to the shops twice a day on his day off etc.

And he's supposed to be a teacher?! Such blatant disregard for the rules is even more shocking from someone supposedly responsible enough to teach. How disappointing.

Not my experience. I have two DSsin their early 20s who are religious in following the rules. DH is 70 and the same. I am extremely vulnerable so to some extent their strict adherence is for my benefit, but mostly it's just the way they are.

And he's supposed to be a teacher?! Such blatant disregard for the rules is even more shocking from someone supposedly responsible enough to teach.

To be fair, he has followed the isolation rules and certainly hasn't been into school when he shouldn't have done, and he follows all the guildelines of his school risk assessment but he does seem to minimise mild symptoms and dismiss the possibility that they could be Covid. It didn't help that we waited 4 days for the (negative) results so that was a lot of time that ended up being wasted for no reason.

One of the big issues, and I guess this is probably the same with some other jobs, is the huge pressure his school puts on the staff to be present. His HT was visibly annoyed. He taught a cohort that was also isolating online, but his HT wanted him to teach live lessons from home to the classroom, even though the classroom computer does not have a camera or microphone so he wouldn't have been able to see or hear any of the pupils. As teachers (I am one too), we do need to act responsibly. It would just be helpful if school leaderships, and I'm sure other employers too, would be a bit more supportive when staff have to isolate.

@OliveTree75

I have to say "have you got your mask?" to my DP when he leaves the house. He looks at me with utter confusion sometimes as if to say why would I need a mask, then the penny drops

It's the other way round in our house, DH has to remind me every time we go out!

No, here I’ve seen far more women than men break the rules.

Those not following the rules around here fall into a few different categories. Firstly there are the mothers with young kids who are completely ignoring social distancing when out blocking the whole path walking next to each other with their pushchairs in groups. Then there are the primary aged children of both genders who are congregating in large numbers in play areas every single afternoon, sometimes but far from always with parents or grandparents present. Finally there are the middle aged women who are finding any excuse to break any of the rules that they want whilst moaning on the local Facebook page about small groups of teenagers being 1.97 metres apart or filling the litter bins too quickly.

No, its equal, totally.

I can't say I've really noticed much difference between men and women.

On the last couple of tube journeys I've taken I've been counting, (I know, sad, just gives me something constructive to do) and men of all ages outnumber women by a factor of 7 to 8 for not wearing masks.
Not scientific I know, just my experience.

When I was back in the U.K. I’d say men if all ages wearing their masks as a chin warmer in shops outnumbered women by about 4:1 but I wouldn’t know if that split is consistent across all rules. Mask wearing is the most visible rule out and about.

I also found young men ignoring social distancing more than any other group.

It’s a similar situation in my house @lavenderlou. DD has had a couple of isolation periods/tests for coughs now (she’s never been this cough prone before I swear but she’s just started school this term) and I just can’t turn a blind eye to it, especially as she’s also in wrap around care.

DP gets it and we have lots of discussion about current events etc. so my conclusion is he’s being a brat and I resent having to be the only responsible adult. I’d quite a whinge about how shit it is too but can’t because the implication is I’m the problem.

Very luckily, he can work from home and his company is massively flexible and supportive, it’s my managers that are the arse holes and are treating the whole pandemic like it’s optional so it’s a double whammy of defending myself against my work and bloody DP.

I don’t know what the answer is but it’s exhausting

Well of the non mask wearers I've seen, only one was a woman. The others were all men aged between late twenties and early forties. Very unscientific I know. I find people are okay about social distancing on pavements, but seem to have largely forgotten in supermarkets.

The people I've seen in shops not wearing a mask, but with a bandana printed with skulls or a kiffeyeh pulled up over their lower face in a half-hearted 'I'm doing you a favour' way have all been males over 40.

A friend works in a post office and says that older men (55 plus)are the subgroup more likely to come in without a mask and, when asked to wear one, to argue that they 'read on Facebook you could go into a post office without a mask'. She says it's the single most tiresome part of the job.

I regularly commute into London, and on the trains and tube, it is almost entirely men who are wearing face masks but NOT covering their nose. It's deeply irritating!

There was data released that showed men are less likely to isolate or quarantine.
However the men in my life are very good at following all the rules. So is it to do with personal beliefs about Covid?

I suspect most men see it as being more willing to 'take risks', rather than 'breaking rules'

DH and DSs all follow the rules.
In fact DH was much more "accepting" of masks than I was. I mean I wore the and was calm with children.

Think it's more personality than gender.