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Original poster

Dating in tiers

31 replies

notevenat20 · 21/10/2020 09:32

I was thinking about dating. What are the rules that affect dates in different tiers. I am interested in laws not guidance here.

In tier 3 it looks like it’s illegal even to go on a dinner date. Is that right? All dating illegal?

In tier 1 and 2 you can go for dinner I think. Is it illegal to invite your date back afterwards?

OP posts:
moomoo1967 · 21/10/2020 10:21

I was wondering the exact same thing, I have just taken the plunge and gone back onto a dating app since being single a year and a half ago. I am amazed at the guys who are willing to either come to my house or me to go to theirs, and we are in different Tiers/Bubbles etc. I don't mind a socially distanced coffee date/dinner but as for anything more than that, I hadn't even thought that far ahead, nor thought about the implications.

Original poster
notevenat20 · 21/10/2020 10:32

@moomoo1967

I read a study (yes really) once that suggested that if the guy finds you attractive, no amount of physical risk will be enough to put them off ...umm... physical intimacy :)

OP posts:
Flagsfiend · 21/10/2020 11:19

I think there were some extra rules for established relationships, but I'm assuming you mean a new relationship/meeting new people to see if you want a relationship.

Tier 1: you can go out for dinner, have them in your house. It is illegal to meet in groups of more than 6, so as long as you don't have more than that in your house already you are fine. You are supposed to socially distance (but I think that bit is guidance rather than law).

Tier 2: you can meet outside including in your garden or to eat outside at a restaurant/pub. You should not meet inside at all.

Tier 3: you could go for a walk in a park or on a beach, but are not allowed to meet in a private indoor or outside space.

joystir59 · 21/10/2020 11:22

If wanted to go on a date with someone the rules wouldn't stop me.

moomoo1967 · 21/10/2020 11:23

@flagsfiend surely if you were mixing Tiers, so e.g. Tier 1 with Tier 2 or 3 then you wouldn't be permitted to have them in your house, for fear of contamination ? So I am Tier 1 but then dating someone from Tier 2 or 3 would adapt the rules of that particular Tier for new relationships ?

Flagsfiend · 21/10/2020 11:25

If you are mixing tiers you go with the highest of the 2.

Flagsfiend · 21/10/2020 11:27

@joystir59

If wanted to go on a date with someone the rules wouldn't stop me.
It might restrict what you can do on your date though. Businesses won't want to break the rules as it could have bigger implications for them.
Berline · 21/10/2020 11:44

Nobody's going to realistically gauge if your relationship is established or not. It's a blooming joke. But the posters here are only saying what the rules are so not criticising them.
And, obviously, if places are shut, even if you only have just started seeing each other, where you going to go?
Cosy nights in are the stuff of established relationships.

user1493494961 · 21/10/2020 11:46

Why would you want to at the moment.

Original poster
notevenat20 · 21/10/2020 11:49

Why would you want to at the moment.

To be really simple about it, how many months would you want to go without sex?

OP posts:
Original poster
notevenat20 · 21/10/2020 11:50

I think there were some extra rules for established relationships

What are the rules for established relationships by tier?

OP posts:
Thanksitsgotpockets · 21/10/2020 11:55

In tier two it's illegal to meet indoors, including restaurants, but you can have sex in your garden with up to five other people Smile

moomoo1967 · 21/10/2020 11:58

@joystir59 if I wanted to go on a socially distancedfirst, second or third date then I would but i am on about after that. I am a key worker so am not about to put myself or others at risk, and also not jeopardise the chance of seeing my daughter with us now being in different households and her coming home for Xmas

Flagsfiend · 21/10/2020 12:05

From the government website:

You do not need to socially distance from anyone in your household, meaning the people you live with. You also do not need to socially distance from anyone in your legally-permitted support bubble if you are in one, or someone you’re in an established relationship with. If in the early stages of a relationship, you should take particular care to follow the guidance on social distancing.

There were some reports in the press suggesting that this doesn't apply in tier 2 and 3, but I can't find anything official that says that. Newcastle us in tier 2 and have on their FAQ on the council website:

  1. I don’t live with my partner, but we’re in an established relationship, can I meet up with them and can we stay at each other’s houses? Yes. You also do not need to socially distance from someone you’re in an established relationship with, or anyone in your legally permitted support bubble if you are in one.
Eesha · 21/10/2020 12:47

Op, I have been seeing someone for 3 months now, tier 2. We were in and out of our houses before but now we will have to meet outside only. My partner is really focussed on keeping to the rules because he believes it will get rid of covid. I don't feel the same and think we are being penalised because we don't live together.

Berline · 21/10/2020 13:05

Not meant in an aggressive tone, Eesha, but that would be a dealbreaker for me.

Berline · 21/10/2020 13:08

I mean I would have to break it off with him..

Looneytune253 · 21/10/2020 13:57

I can't believe what I'm reading on this thread. People are actually willing to meet with virtual strangers indoors when it's not allowed and then some have said they'll go so far as to have sex with them. Have you not seen about the pandemic? How do you know whether a relative stranger may or may not take care to not get covid. I'm quite relaxed about covid generally but close up meeting with strangers no way!!

Looneytune253 · 21/10/2020 13:59

@notevenat20

Why would you want to at the moment.

To be really simple about it, how many months would you want to go without sex?

Tbh I've never been one for having sex with strangers anyway so that will colour my view but I'd just be sorting myself out in the midst of a pandemic.
Eesha · 21/10/2020 14:01

@Berline Yes, i know! It's frustrating but early days with the lockdown so i really hope he realises we can't do this forever. It's not like I want anyone else but I certainly want more than this.

Original poster
notevenat20 · 21/10/2020 14:27

Tbh I've never been one for having sex with strangers anyway so that will colour my view but I'd just be sorting myself out in the midst of a pandemic.

The idea is that through dating they stop being strangers :)

OP posts:
Original poster
notevenat20 · 21/10/2020 14:28

I can't believe what I'm reading on this thread. People are actually willing to meet with virtual strangers indoors when it's not allowed and then some have said they'll go so far as to have sex with them. Have you not seen about the pandemic? How do you know whether a relative stranger may or may not take care to not get covid. I'm quite relaxed about covid generally but close up meeting with strangers no way!!

But everyone starts out as a stranger! Life is about meeting new people and making new relationships.

OP posts:
Doingitaloneandproud · 21/10/2020 15:52

I'm still dating, tend to meet outside in pubs for them. The rules will not stop me dating

Original poster
notevenat20 · 21/10/2020 16:21

I'm still dating, tend to meet outside in pubs for them. The rules will not stop me dating

What do you do if you like the person? I mean, do you restrict yourself to outdoors in pubs?

OP posts:
RainbowParadise · 21/10/2020 16:40

@Looneytune253

I can't believe what I'm reading on this thread. People are actually willing to meet with virtual strangers indoors when it's not allowed and then some have said they'll go so far as to have sex with them. Have you not seen about the pandemic? How do you know whether a relative stranger may or may not take care to not get covid. I'm quite relaxed about covid generally but close up meeting with strangers no way!!
Or how about some people might want to continue dating, trying to meet someone that they want to have a relationship with rather than a string of one night stands, and are wondering if they'll be breaking the law to do so.

This has been one of the most ridiculous things about the pandemic imo- I completely supported lockdown and measures to contain the virus but there are some restrictions that are far too intrusive and frankly damaging to possibly be considered reasonable. To effectively make it illegal to start a new relationship is disgusting. What does that do to people's mental health? This isn't missing Glastonbury for a year or not being able to go to football matches, this is one of the fundamentals of being human, to want to be close to another person, and restricting it so much is cruel.

By all means, going on tinder with the aim to have multiple one night stands isn't on during a pandemic, but to date and try to meet someone for a relationship is a different story.

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