Is there anywhere I can go this half term with autistic 6 year old?

[elliejjtiny]

6 year old has autism. He is a bolter and it's getting increasingly harder to catch him/pick him up etc. He also licks everything and puts everything in his mouth. We have tried those chewy necklaces but he just wants to explore everything with his mouth. I have reins for him but he hates them as they stop him running. I have stopped going out for walks with him as he just screams and lays on the floor.

Pre covid we used to do softplay, swimming, visiting grandparents. We also went to some stay and play activities for children with autism or disabilities. At the moment we can't do any of these things. Grandparents are shielding, groups aren't running, swimming pool isn't open until after half term is over. Softplay is open but I'm nervous about him licking everything there during a pandemic.

There are loads of things we can do at home but it would be nice to go out somewhere. For me more than ds as he would be quite happy at home. He needs a decent amount of exercise if he is going to sleep before 11pm as well although we can do that with exercise videos on YouTube. My other dc would quite like to leave the house at some point too.

How risky is softplay at the moment for a child who licks everything and will it still be fun for him with all the new rules in place? Is there anywhere else I can take him that I haven't thought of yet?

Are there cheap/public tennis courts near you? Take them both, doesn't matter if you can play you can usually pick up ok tennis rackets in charity shops dirt cheap and tennis balls in a large supermarket.

And the trees are super colourful this autumn can you book a NT property visit, they usually have a take out cafe for hot drinks and you could collect colourful leaves, if you have a laminator or sticky plastic, make an autumnal mobile at home. Not ideal I know.

@StatisticalSense

Sorry but it isn't fair on the other children and families in a soft play area to take a child whose behaviour will knowingly increase the risk to others of catching something during a global pandemic. National Trust gardens or other outdoor activities such as farms that don't involve large amounts of touching are probably about the limits of what is realistic given the current situation.

🙄

"Sorry but it isn't fair on the other children and families in a soft play area to take a child whose behaviour will knowingly increase the risk to others of catching something during a global pandemic."

If you go to softplay you take your chances. As if the toddlers won't be doing stuff.

@StatisticalSense

Sorry but it isn't fair on the other children and families in a soft play area to take a child whose behaviour will knowingly increase the risk to others of catching something during a global pandemic. National Trust gardens or other outdoor activities such as farms that don't involve large amounts of touching are probably about the limits of what is realistic given the current situation.

Yeah because an autistic child doesn’t know how to social distance and avoid touching large areas like other young children, toddlers and babies, so you are best keeping him home or if you have to go out visit outdoor spaces only. Take the above posters advice even though the scientists or government haven’t tried to discriminate autistic/SEN children by having one set of rules for them and another set of rules for the rest 🤦‍♀️

I’m a mother of 3. My children don’t have autism yet I know my DC would not know how to not put other children at risk of catching Covid if they were unknowingly contagious with it.
If it’s such a problem for other mothers then perhaps they should be the ones visiting farms and outdoor places and avoiding soft play areas.

I used to do quite a bit of cycling with DS in a bike trailer, he liked the sensation of speed but was nicely contained. He still fit till close to 7, so you might bet away with it over the winter, there are quite a few popping up on my local selling pages at the moment.

Personally I'd not be comfortable with soft play at the moment, but then our local one was always really stuffy and DSs behavious always got comments (or at least my following behind him at all times did!) Even without social distancing.

Outdoor parks, ideally fenced in with just one exit gate were our favourite.

Would he manage something like clip n climb, for us the current rules on small numbers and no music are making some of those things possible that we'd not normal managed outside a dedicated quiet session.

@StatisticalSense

Sorry but it isn't fair on the other children and families in a soft play area to take a child whose behaviour will knowingly increase the risk to others of catching something during a global pandemic. National Trust gardens or other outdoor activities such as farms that don't involve large amounts of touching are probably about the limits of what is realistic given the current situation.

I cannot believe I have just read this.

This child has as much right to go to soft play as anyone else.

I can't believe how shockingly discriminatory you've been.

All children have the possibilities of putting something in their mouths, it isn't just children with SEN. If a parent doesn't want their child to go somewhere where other kids can touch / mouth stuff then they need to keep away themselves.

But if OP is happy to take her child , autistic or not, to soft play and accept that other children will have touched stuff and possibly put it in their mouths, then she is VERY welcome to take her child.

I'm an SEN teacher and I adore what I do, but hate how much parents have to come across disgusting attitudes like yours. You should be ashamed of yourself.

@Sb2012
It's nothing to do with not being able to socially distance or even touching things but entirely to do with the specific risk from licking surfaces and therefore leaving a much higher volume of bacteria (and potentially the virus) on surfaces that other children will touch that means the possibility of spread is several times greater than under intended use.

@StatisticalSense do you acknowledge what every other person on this thread is saying that you are discriminating?
Lots of children lick things, not just those with autism.

[quote StatisticalSense]@Sb2012
It's nothing to do with not being able to socially distance or even touching things but entirely to do with the specific risk from licking surfaces and therefore leaving a much higher volume of bacteria (and potentially the virus) on surfaces that other children will touch that means the possibility of spread is several times greater than under intended use.[/quote]
That's where you're wrong.

It's intended for use by children, usually under the age of 14.

OPs child is a child no?

So if OPs child is a child, then he is allowed to use the soft play.

The soft plays instructions are not 'you may use this soft play unless you have a disability which means you may lick things".

If others want to avoid things being mouthed..they're best to not go to soft play anyway because plenty of children do it.

@StatisticalSense duh! What like every baby at a soft play?!

Catch yourself on - what a horrible thing to say as well

@StatisticalSense

Sorry but it isn't fair on the other children and families in a soft play area to take a child whose behaviour will knowingly increase the risk to others of catching something during a global pandemic. National Trust gardens or other outdoor activities such as farms that don't involve large amounts of touching are probably about the limits of what is realistic given the current situation.

It's attitudes like this that add to the pressure for families with children with additional needs. They have a right to exist in this world too.

@Popototo not only do they have a right to exist, they have a right to access everything their peers do.

A nice quote is that "a society is judged by how it treats it's most vulnerable in the community"

I'd hate to see @StatisticalSense 's view of what this society should look like.

Our autistic son still loves running around a tennis court or an enclosed football/basketball court (like you get in parks); so long as you can watch the one or two exit opportunities, you'll be fine.

One thing offered in my area is all ability cycling, where they have a large number of disability bicycles including those with carriers for younger children. So during the summer I took our son cycling once a week. I did most of the actual cycling but he really enjoyed going fast round the athletics track they used, wind in his face/hair. You could look to see if there's something similar local to you?

I know it’s not enclosed but my daughter has mild autism and her favourite place is the beach. She will spend as long as I let her sitting in the sand pouring it through her fingers. Seems to really calm her down.

[quote StatisticalSense]@Sb2012
It's nothing to do with not being able to socially distance or even touching things but entirely to do with the specific risk from licking surfaces and therefore leaving a much higher volume of bacteria (and potentially the virus) on surfaces that other children will touch that means the possibility of spread is several times greater than under intended use.[/quote]
My 4 year old licks surfaces when he’s bored. He even plays with his spit as it dribbles down glass windows 🤦‍♀️ He’s not autistic. We discourage it, but he still does it occasionally when he forgets that his parents don’t approve. My 4 year old doesn’t lick surfaces he is a calm little boy and prefers to still quietly and play “sensibly” but he will sneeze and forget to cover his mouth and I’m sure that projects just as much if not more virus particles across the rooms and onto surfaces. What about babies that like to mouth objects and drool all over them??

I personally don’t really take my kids to soft play areas, I never have even before the pandemic. However, if I did then I know the risks that come with other children playing there. I wouldn’t ever expect parents to lock their children away so mine could play at their leisure. Any bad behaviour like hitting or spitting etc I would deal with, but licking surfaces is not that unusual for toddlers and most parents are aware of that.

*that should read my 3 years old doesn’t lick surfaces.

My 4 year old does if he’s bored and thinks no one is watching it 🤣

Do you have any trampoline parks or inflatable ninja courses near you? Our local ones are open, you just pre-book. My autistic 8 year old loves them.

Thankyou everyone for the great ideas. Thankyou even more to those of you who defended ds's right to be at softplay. As you can imagine we get a lot of tutting, comments etc when out with ds so it's really lovely to see positive things.

@elliejjtiny

Thankyou everyone for the great ideas. Thankyou even more to those of you who defended ds's right to be at softplay. As you can imagine we get a lot of tutting, comments etc when out with ds so it's really lovely to see positive things.

Whilst I haven't got a child with SEN myself I have certainly taken my students out for life skills lessons and visits - so I have had a brief glimpse of what you must deal with daily. Honestly it was you guys I felt for the most when this lockdown happened - I thought how deeply unsettling and distressing it must have been for your LOs to suddenly have everything changed overnight. You're doing amazing and it sounds like you've been doing lots of fun activities while theyve been allowed .

Hopefully you can find some things to do during half term and truly your LO deserves to be whereever you think is best, irrespective of how he acts once there.

Oh I just had one idea - have you got any garden centers or pet shops where you live? My classes used to adore going there just to watch the fish and look at the animals. I don't know what's the deal at the moment with what you can do there but pets at home near me is always busy!

No children in soft play socially distance regardless if they have special needs or not. They all dribble and lick and face plant equipment on landing.

My son is very similar. I am in Scotland so soft play isn't even open here but I would take him if it was, although the one we go to is a soft play specifically aimed at children with asn and disabilities (but all children can go), so it tends to be less judgy. We have been doing the park, beachfront walks, trampolining and are going to an aquarium later in the week.

How risky is softplay at the moment for a child who licks everything and will it still be fun for him with all the new rules in place?
Well, I don't know about how risky it is for your DC, but I presume that staff at soft play areas are having to put a lot more time and effort into cleaning to make things safer for all children. However, given that you have no control over your child doing this, I would be worried that the play things would not be able to be cleaned between your child licking them and the next child touching them before they are cleaned.

Personally, I wouldn't want to:

1. Put other children at risk of touching equipment your child has licked.
2. Make extra work for the staff in terms of cleaning.

Interesting that you have only thought about to the risk to your child and not considered other DC having to come into contact with your child's saliva.

ANY child who cannot resist licking everything in these covid times (SEN or not) should not go to a soft play area.