Feel like I’ve lost my judgement

[Velvetpeel]

Anyone else feel like they can’t judge the risk any more?
We followed the first lockdown to the letter, started to ease up in the summer but now I’m back to pretty much doing nothing that involves socialising. I’ve stopped going to the baby group that had reopened. Not meeting friends for coffee/walks.
I have two DC at school plus a baby. Eldest DC is doing a couple of outdoor after school activities.
I’m starting to feel pretty depressed that I’ve reduced our lives so much. My DM is clinically vulnerable and we do see her (outside) but I think that’s the driver behind the lack of socialising. I just feel like each interaction I have brings a potential risk.
Am I being over the top? I genuinely can’t tell anymore. We are in a medium risk area so don’t have any wider restrictions on us.

Yes I feel this way too.
Or I go out and see people/do things, then feel panicked that I’ve put myself at too much risk afterwards. Totally lost all ability to judge things rationally

Yep, me too. MIL is vulnerable and I worry that if we do too much we will put her at risk.

And me. My mental health is just a mess. I can’t anticipate rights from wrongs.

Yes. My mother openly told me recently that she's regularly flouting the rules, going shopping in other areas, seeing family in other areas. She lives in a tier 3 area. She works with people with severe physical & mental disabilities. Apparently God won't let anything bad happen.

Meant to put, I honestly don't know what to do. About her blatantly ignoring the rules. So many people are, why even bother doing anything. If I even say anything to her she'll just get the hump. And if I report I'll feel awful & probably nothing will come of it. No point.

Yes! I was going to write a post along a similar vein. Basically every time I see someone or do anything with any sort of risk I feel ill after and panic I’ve got it and I’m spreading it to vulnerable people. I was googling hypochondria and Covid today. It’s getting to the point I’m giving up the majority of things as it puts me in such a pickle after

Sorry to hear others are feeling the same but is good to hear I’m not the only one.
@gggrrrargh that’s what I feel like - I get really worried about getting it and spreading to others so the best way not to do that is not to see anyone!

How I am getting through (barely!) is I’ve got a trusted friend who is happy to repeat what she is saying over and over - I don’t actually have the main symptoms, I don’t know anyone who does, so if it does happen I can’t be blamed anymore than anyone else who catches or spreads it.

Anyone got coping methods we can try and use to judge risk or do we just keep going one day at a time at the moment!

Hi,

Sorry you are feeling this way.

I don’t know if this will help but I suffer from general anxiety and have recently been having some therapy for this. One of the suggestions made was to try and split my worries/anxious thoughts into productive and unproductive worry.

Productive -
Something that is actually a risk and you can put practical steps in place to change. Ie. Wearing a mask in shops. Washing hands. Avoiding places you perceive to be higher risk. After identifying a productive worry you then can make any practical changes to ease your mind.

Unproductive worry - your mind getting away with itself. Imagined risks or things that you can do nothing to control. Ie. I’ve taken all my usual precautions but what if I get it anyway? Or a child in my dc class has tested positive. They are now home isolating but what if they get really ill? These thoughts you have to shut down quickly or they escalate. So, the next step is look at relaxation/worry management/distraction. (I’m happy to send over info on this if it helps)

Learning to separate worries into productive and unproductive worries has really helped me.

Yes!
I've been panicking after every supermarket trip, counting the days until the incubation period is over, and worrying about infection from the post.
I keep telling myself we're in a low prevalence area, but the numbers are rising even here...
Fed up. ☹️

I actually think you are being sensible and judging the risk correctly.

Please do see if you can reach out for some talking therapy or support by phone/remotely though. It isn't weird to be struggling with all this. Our lives have been so changed and we have lost so much this year.

I find thinking of the most likely thing helps, so for example

It may be likely you may be exposed with DC at school etc however it will most likely be mild. You may then possibly be immune

It is also likely that even if you had it, as you are being careful with your mum meeting her outside and distanced, it is very likely you would not pass it to her.

Maybe this helps a bit. There's only so much you can do. It sounds like you are being sensible but limited ourselves too much is not good for us either.