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Covid is ruining our friendshp

14 replies

fardownsouth · 17/10/2020 08:51

I’m good friends, or was, with someone I met through work. Without being outing, we work in an industry that’s generally accepted to employ intelligent people. She in particular was always good at her job.

Since covid there’s been times we’ve met up and she’s turned up with an ‘im exempt’ card round her neck, the ones you can get online to say you are exempt from the mask rule. I can’t believe they aren’t checked by medical professionals but guess that’s too big a job.

She’d got a few she even ordered me one. I told her wearing a mask protects others more than it protects you so I would wear it and also joked that it keeps you warm.

She said she’s read about face masks, they don’t do anything and that if people were worried they should stay in.

I also hear endless rants about the illuminati and how there’s a conspiracy and this has been planned for a long time.

I’m so fucking sick of it and if you even try to argue back she mocks and laughs at you. I also work in said job and can hold my own but this just makes me sad. I think lots of the government decisions are wrong and I have my own views on how best it could have been handled, as we all do, but is it so fucking much to put a face mask on?

I also now am feeling quite worried about being around her as clearly she isn’t doing anything to ensure she doesn’t get covid. We used to be very good friends and today I’ve just thought what the hell am I doing with her. Another shit thing about the year.

Just wanted to rant really. So fed up and joe feel I’ve lost a friend.

OP posts:
fardownsouth · 17/10/2020 08:53

I mention our jobs because it’s shocked me even more that someone I thought was reasonable and knowledgeable would come out with this shit.

OP posts:
OpheliasCrayon · 17/10/2020 08:53

I also have done. Different situation but I felt really threatened by how unkind what they were saying was , and how deeply she judges those who don't agree with her.... So I called it quits.

Harrysblondie · 17/10/2020 09:03

I’m so sick of these threads tbh. Do t try and control what other people think. Your not the think police.

If she believes in purple unicorns that fart glitter let her rock on. If her not wearing a mask is pissing you off don’t meet her again.

Do we really need threads like this ^every day’ about the ‘mentally ill conspiracy theorists’ and how surprised you are because you thought they were ‘intelligent’...

I know a very wealthy business man, huge fuck off house, kids in private school, multiple businesses and he believes in flat earth... bonkers I know but he can believe in what the fuck he wants.

Some people think there is a sky fairy that sent his son here and he was born in a stable. Crazy right? ..,

Youandmeareluckytobeus · 17/10/2020 09:11

If you are on different pages about things you consider important (not just Covid, anything) then it is bound to strain your relationship if you can't just agree to differ and not discuss the topic.

We are often drawn to like-minded individuals and repelled by those with opposing opinions. It may be time to just accept your differences are too great and move on from the relationship if you can't agree to disagree about it.

fardownsouth · 17/10/2020 09:12

harrysblonde you are missing the point a little. This isn’t some wealthy bloke down the road. This is some wealthy woman who also happens to be a close friend of mine, so it’s rather shit.
Secondly, it’s causing difficultly now anyway, aside from just beliefs as her lack of personal safety means I have a practical consideration when deciding whether to see her. It’s not just about differing belief.some of her opinions I agree with.

Oh and by the way if these threads annoy you, perhaps don’t visit forums dedicated to covid. HTH.

OP posts:
SmilingAloe · 17/10/2020 09:14

It’s really difficult. Covid has completely changed my opinion on a close friend for similar reasons.
She may well be entitled to her opinions but she is not entitled to continually break rules put in place to keep people safe (for example, her son is currently out playing after having been sent home from school with a temperature, she has not had him tested).
We will never be close again as I find her attitude both ignorant and deeply selfish.
It is hard but clearly not uncommon.

OpheliasCrayon · 17/10/2020 09:14

@Harrysblondie

I’m so sick of these threads tbh. Do t try and control what other people think. Your not the think police.

If she believes in purple unicorns that fart glitter let her rock on. If her not wearing a mask is pissing you off don’t meet her again.

Do we really need threads like this ^every day’ about the ‘mentally ill conspiracy theorists’ and how surprised you are because you thought they were ‘intelligent’...

I know a very wealthy business man, huge fuck off house, kids in private school, multiple businesses and he believes in flat earth... bonkers I know but he can believe in what the fuck he wants.

Some people think there is a sky fairy that sent his son here and he was born in a stable. Crazy right? ..,

I think OPs thread is ok. Maybe there are a lot but to be honest I don't think it's so much about what her friend or indeed the friend I mentioned thinks... That's their business as you say.

But I think it's ok to be upset / disappointed / put out that a friendship has been changed or lost as a result of the current situation. It's a bit of a shame really.

seayork2020 · 17/10/2020 09:17

I guarantee that if we looked for something to find to unfriend someone we will always find something.

I dont understand this 'thought they were more intelligent' line as it is could said about you OP whether it is virus related or not, or any of us

Cam2020 · 17/10/2020 09:20

I don't think it's Covid as such that's ruined your friendship, I think it's just highlighted some difference of opinions and attitudes that's changed your perception of her, as did Brexit etc for some people.

fardownsouth · 17/10/2020 09:23

I guess the intelligence bit comes in when you refuse to wear a face mask. Even if there’s no virus, what on earth is the harm in it. Saves on make up!

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 17/10/2020 10:17

All you can do is calmly express your opinion in that, for the time being you think her exposure is too wide a circle for you to feel comfortable.

Don't write off future friendship, just express yourself and perhaps have a calm friendly chat. And get back to going out when, and it will, this pandemic subsides.

stirling · 17/10/2020 10:26

Harrysblondie: It's such a pity that some women feel the need to respond in a rude, vulgar way and almost seem to enjoy being unkind.

OP, I completely get what you are saying. Covid has made me question a couple of my friendships. I bumped into a friend who is a GP the other day. Never touched me in the 12 years I've known her but decided to give me a huge hug whilst making a stupid joke about "so you're not worried about covid". I felt so upset, I thought she was negligent and totally inconsiderate, I'm trying to be careful because I'm taking my dad to chemotherapy plus I have chronic health issues which she knows about. But to her it was a funny joke.
I have an another friend who's a psychiatrist who has spent the last month travelling around the UK, seeing friends. When he reached London he was so persistent about meeting up. When I suggested we met outdoors for a walk or time in the park, he couldn't grasp my concern about being in a pub or a restaurant. We didn't meet and now he's not talking to me. A fifty five year old shrink, sulking.

Totally fed up with blasé people inflicting their nonchalant attitude onto others, but more importantly, getting annoyed if we are taking precautions.

They remind me of smokers in the 80s and 90s, who were always offended if you didn't want them to smoke near you.

I would say keep a distance from your friend but don't let it end a friendship. As much as we have a right to be precautios, they are entitled to their opinions and yes it's sad that they're willing to put others at risk, but nothing you can do to change it.

SinkGirl · 17/10/2020 10:51

I lost what I thought was a very good friend a couple of years ago after she made a new group of friends and went down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole and never resurfaced.

Still makes me really sad when I think about her as I really miss her.

doireallyneedaname · 17/10/2020 13:47

You’re not alone. A few of my long standing friends are all for mask exceptions and don’t follow the rules. It drives me insane.

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