50/50 coparenting and kids having to self isolate question

[coldlocation]

Amicable separation 7 years ago so no court order re kids. ExH and I do 50/50 shared care.

2 out of our 3 DC have to self isolate due to being 'close contacts' of kids who've tested +ve in their school bubbles, other one going to school as normal. Neither of the 2 who are SI have any covid symptoms, neither do me or ExH or the child who is going to school.

My kids have gone to exH's this eve as per our normal childcare routine... Should they have done or should they have stayed with me as per "stay at home"? It didn't even occur to me that they should not move until a friend queried why they were gong to their dad's this weekend if self isolating.

If relevant... ExH is a teacher in a 2k kid secondary, ExH had the kids Sun pm - Weds am this week and picked one of the DC up from sports practice and drove him to mine yesterday (before we knew that DC had to SI).

Hi OP,
Bumping as I would like to know the answer to this too!

I'm am a lawyer (altho no longer in practice) and I have read the legislation, lots of the govt guidance and trawled the Web.

Concluded that the original Lockdown exception for kids u18 to move btw homes - especially when they belong to two households/each home amounts to the children's support bubbles and they have no other - shld apply but that it's kinda at parents discretion... and found this article www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/coronavirus-self-isolation-child-arrangement-orders-advice-a9419266.html%3famp) (which I shared the relevant para of with my friend but friend still thinks I'm being irresponsible)... But still nowt that I regard as a definitive answer....

Hence asking here.

Also this on a reputable firm's website but it has poss not been updated since March.

www.vwv.co.uk/news-and-events/blog/divorce-family-law/coronavirus-separated-parents

You are confusing lockdown rules and self isolation. According to lockdown kids were allowed to move between homes. Self isolation means just that. Isolate. No moving between homes.

The Government clearly states that anyone self isolating should remain in one place (their home). They should not be moving between homes regardless of shared parental care. If child is not self-isolating, it is perfectly reasonable to expect child to move between each parent home. Just not whilst they are self-isolating. It's reckless to do this.

Yes possibly.

This is from the article published in the Independent 3 days ago:

Katie Spooner, partner at Winckworth Sherwood, says: “Social distancing and even self-isolation does not mean that the arrangements you have in place for your children should fall away. These arrangements, whether informally agreed between parents or set out in a court order, remain effective and should continue to be followed. Indeed, taking children from one home to another is a legitimate journey according to Cafcass and government guidelines.”

I want to know the basis of this opinion, my kids are going door to door in ExH's car and will SI whilst with him as they will with me.

Happy to stand corrected.

My kids are now at his house though and due back Sunday... I'll have to contact him now to explain and re think/re jig. I'm wfh, he cannot, so they'll have to remain with me then.

In this instance there is the small posibility they are asymptomatic and will pass it to your EX who you say is a teacher in a school with 2000 pupils, so in turn he will take it into school with him. If they are isolating then they should remain in one home and with very restricted contact with anyone outside of the home. Sorry I know its hard but there is a possible line of transmission at their dads.

The point of self isolation is to minimise the potential spread of Covid. 2 of your children have to isolate as they have been in close contact with a positive case. Which part of that do you think means they should go to someone else's house?

Also a lawyer and also having read everything end up in the same place as you! But agree it’s not exactly crystal clear.

Both households should of course follow self isolation guidelines ( so no visitors to either house).

I'm a family lawyer, and the advice we have been giving based on the interpretation of the legislation available (because it's not definitive) is that if a household needs to self isolate, and the parents want to maintain the contact arrangements, both parents' households must self isolate for the complete period required, but if only the child needs to self isolate, they can do so in either/both homes - in both circumstances, provided that they don't need to use public transport to travel between the 2 homes.
This advice is on the basis that the government have always said contact arrangements are an exception to the general rule because the child or children are part of both households.
However, most parents seem to be sensibly agreeing between them that in the event of isolation, the kids stay put and lots of facetime with the other parent. Not ideal but sensible.

I’d like to know the answer to this too. My daughter got sent home from school as someone in the bubble has Covid. I presumed I’d still send her to her father’s per the normal arrangement. But that she would not leave our respective houses (apart from short car journey to and from each house). She has a sibling who would be going there (and isn’t self isolating) so seems a bit ludicrous if one goes and one doesn’t.

I notice on this and another thread that some people say that this is “reckless” and “you definitely shouldn’t move the kid between two homes”, but I wonder - do they have children who live in two homes?

@decoraters - it isn’t ‘someone else’s house’ it’s those children’s home ( of which unfortunately they have two - I’m a single parent so don’t mean that negatively against you OP!).

Particularly if the Ex is single and follows guidelines how is it different to the exposure to a married couple and their children? It isn’t . Even if he has a partner the government appear to have decided that this is a risk worth taking for the benefit to the children in these situations.

One positive thing the government has at least done in this is protect children ( not adults) rights in regard to access to both parents.

I've had this exact situation and my DS stayed in one place. It's the sensible thing to do even if not specified anywhere.

To me logically they stay in one place with the parent best able to accommodate caring for them.

The point of self isolation is to minimise the rise of potentially spreading it.

My exH refused to have dd when she was SI as he said he didn't want to risk the rest of the household and wasn't prepared to self isolate. But then he only does parenting when it suits him. Doesn't stop him complaining he's missing out on seeing dc though. Next time I'll tell him it's their home too and they still go and he should be prepared to self isolate. I do think they should stay at the home they are at when told to self isolate though but this is open to abuse.
I'd love to have a definite answer.

- it isn’t ‘someone else’s house’ it’s those children’s home

Ok, bad wording.

I should have said 'another' house. The point is still the same though. Self isolation is to avoid spreading this virus. Going to another house increase the risk.

Thanks all. I'll leave things as are for tonight and contact exH in the morning. He'll have had Friday night beers and not be in a position to drive them to mine now.

What's sad is that with no definitive answer (but super appreciate @weejammin's legal pov) this is possibly going to lead to me being at loggerheads with exH over our access arrangements.

And also, yes, my kids def regard both places as their equal homes.

Thanks again.

Not much point bringing them home now is there? I'd carry on with the decision I had made. How are the siblings social distancing from each other if one is SI and one isn't? It might have been easier to separate them in this instance to help SI?

I'd have made the assumption that SI would mean staying in the one home but interesting to read that isn't the legal position.

Wrt separating them to help SI. Are many kids who are self isolating because someone in their school bubble has Covid really keeping away from other family members at home? I am very much a “rules follower” but my DD who is self isolating shares a bedroom with her sibling who is not self isolating. We live in a small house with one bathroom. There is no spare bedroom. 🤷🏼‍♀️

DC1 (SI) is antisocial and keeps himself to himself largely anyway in his room as he's at that stage of teenagerhood.

DC2 & 3 are twins (one SI, one still expected to go to school, and yes I spoke to the Head about this to confirm what I was meant to do) who share a bedroom in both houses. At mine twins room is huge and more than 2m between their beds.

As it's children who are SI and no one presently has symptoms me and healthy twin... according to gov website... could go about our business as usual if we wished, for me that could even include carrying on going to Scouts (many SD rules, risk assessments etc) as a leader. I've opted to duck out of Scouts for now and I work from home full time and we have told my DM (73, lives locally, no underlying health issues) that we won't be seeing her - or anyone else really - until the SI ends.

I meant the not self isolating twin rather than "healthy twin" above... Oops.