I won't do it.

[BeanieB2020]

I will NOT comply with any lockdown rule that requires me, a single person living alone, to not see the one friend I socialize with, in my house or hers. I don't think I'm alone in this, am I?

I'm concerned the rules are going to go that way, and I'm just not doing it. I don't go anywhere, I get everything delivered, my friend is the only person I see, she is the same way and we both work from home with no kids.

And no, virtual meetings are not good enough. I need in person connection and there is no way I am going to put up with being alone for months again. Been there, done it, got the depression, never again.

There has to be exceptions made for any rule to allow single people living alone to continue seeing their friends--even if it's just one friend/household. This needs to be a part of every lockdown rule. It's not enough to say exceptions for "compassionate" reasons, it needs to be made clear that single people won't be left alone again no matter what. Indefinite Isolation is cruel, even in a pandemic. Mental health matters. I WANT to follow the rules, but if you isolate me, I CAN'T follow them. It's too much.

Anyone else agree?

Just identify as Dominic Cummings then do whatever the fuck you want, even while infected with covid. Turns out, you don't even have to pay your council tax if you're Dom.

So what does anyone think of me going to remote village in spain to see elderly dementia mum and taking kids. But then they’d have to miss school and quarantine For longer than we’d be out there for. What would you do?

OP, take a deep breath. I've been there and done that with lockdowns, depression etc, etc (well documented on other MN threads about Covid).

What you do, in this situation, is carry on just as you are. Nobody is going to report you. Nobody is going to become ill. Nobody's Granny is doing to die in Brazil because you continue to meet your friend.

I have seen my non-resident partner every day since lockdown began, and will continue to do so. We are both seeing other friends, too. We're just keeping it all below the radar.

Bear in mind that if you are all people living on your own, nobody is going to be tracking your movements or quizzing you about where you are going or whom you are seeing. That is one (the only?) advantage to living alone.

The police were stopping people where I live (during March and April). If they had stopped me, I'd have said I was on an essential errand not that I was going for a shag

Weirdly, they didn't stop me even when I had a giant yucca sticking out of the car window, so was quite evidently not doing anything very essential.

@Gronky when I was growing up, my family was spread out all over the world. An international phone call was a Christmas present and a flight was essentially unattainable except for weddings.

You’re missing the point. You could still see people. Just not necessarily your family. You weren’t in a situation where you couldn’t see anyone in person. That just isn’t sustainable. I’ve been WFH for 7 months. I live with DH and my DC and I’m still struggling (we’re in Tier 2 - local lockdown has been in place since the summer). I’m at the point where I fucking hate video calls with a passion. They’re not the same at all.

HarryLimeFoxtrot, I understand they're not the same and a portion of it could be personal differences but, compared to how communications were in the 70s, it's so much better that it still occasionally seems like science fiction to me.

Many people are waking up now. You are obviously one of them.

Good for you.

@Treatedlikeamaid leave the kids with their dad, you go see your mum on your own like before surely? Hope your business is doing OK and DH isn't sabotaging you to excess.

@Gronky - you are still really missing the point!

It does seem that way, Furries.

Marvellous! A full on toddler tantrum, complete with foot stamping, and breath holding until blue in the face! (could be good practice for later on)

I won't and I can't. And you can't make me.

Well, quite. Your funeral, as they say, OP. Possibly the funerals of innocent others you encounter as you stomp away.

It would be barbaric to ask those living alone to not mix with anyone over the winter months. I am in a somewhat similar boat OP and like you, I won't do it.

Absolutely. There are people on here who claim not to need basic human interaction with others but the truth is it isn’t healthy for anyone to live like this. Do what you need to do for your own sanity.

I think that is a bit harsh on the OP. It is fair enough to say to some general non compliers, but this case isn't like that as far as I can see.

Many people who live alone will need some kind of contact and shouldn't be judged harshly for that. They won't necessarily be raising risks compared to other households either, depending on how many 'branches' out of the household or bubble there are.

As a example, if two retired people form a support bubble with each other and see just each other either at home or outside, that has a far lower risk of spread than a couple with live together and have a child (going to school) and possibly one of them going out to work. Not to mention bigger families or where both parents work. The range of contacts and networks is extensive whereas for a small support bubble it can be very enclosed. Obviously it varies case to case. But it is easy to say OP would be increasing risk by seeing one person when for others the risks as well as the benefits are already baked in just because they happen to not live alone.

I think we need to be really mindful of how we are going to help people who live alone and don't have access to a support bubble this winter. Not everyone even has the choice. Also I hope there won't be people endangering the support bubble policy by wilfully 'misunderstanding' it when it doesn't apply to them. If they are going to meet up with others indoors I hope they won't use that excuse and tarnish the policy.

Hope your support bubble is there for you throughout this OP.

Sorry, I was referring to cbt 's comment but forgot to say!

Thanks to everyone who has replied supportively. I'm sorry some of you are experiencing similar anxiety or have lost your ability to see your bubble. It's awful.

Am I overreacting? Worrying with no current reason? Absolutely. But, this is an unprecedented situation and being cut off from real human interaction significantly affected me in the first lockdown so I don't think I'm being unreasonable in being extremely worried and scared about the chance of that happening again.

I don't want to take a walk outside for a quick chat. I want to cook for someone and watch movies together and share a cup of tea, read books in the same room as another person, laugh together, spend time together without talking but just sharing space (can't do this on internet calls and it's really important to me).

If it does happen again, my friend and I may well be able to move in together. There are complications in doing so (pets, both own homes, both WFH & on calls a lot and neither house has good work space for two people that's quiet enough for simultaneous calls) but I'm going to talk to her and see what she thinks about that and if we can have an emergency plan. She's as worried as I am about losing the bubble. We really do only see each other. None of our families or other friends live close by or even in the same country for most of them.

OP the support bubbles for single people and parents were brought during the initial lockdown not after, of course I can't say for definite but I doubt they would scrap that if we lockdown fully again. As other PP have said make your own judgement if the worst should happen and the support bubbles were stopped again. Don't be getting upset and worried about something that hasn't happened yet with everything else going on at the moment stressing about "what ifs" isnt going to do any of us much good.

@cardibach its geography and being unable to cross borders that's stopped you being able to see your daughter not the removal of the support bubbles. Is there anyone else in your county's that you can both re bubble up with temporarily? how much is border crossing being enforced? Is there any alternative routes that could bypass any checks? If you said you needed to cross the border work, would they be able to check?

Inkpaperstars Oh. Harsh, was it? Inaccurate?

OP: I won't do it.

I will NOT comply

I WANT to follow the rules, but if you isolate me, I CAN'T follow them.

That, to me, sounded like a toddler tantrum. Can't meaning won't, etc.

I am also finding it rather difficult, being on my own completely since early March, my only close physical contact with any other human beings being in a medical setting, whilst both of us - strangers to that point - are wearing a mask, and dealing with my usual mental health concerns, which have been rather ramped up by the situation I find myself in. So to imply I know nothing of what it is to be socially isolated would be far off the the mark.

It does strike me, in a world designed for optimum ease of function of the more extroverted elements of society, it must be extremely difficult for most people to be restricted in this way; but that doesn't mean they are entitled to effectively have a tantrum about it and tear up the rules in response. Obviously, YMMV.

She’s not having a tantrum. She’s hurting and frustrated.

You have all empathy of a gnat.

And this is not about being an extrovert, it’s about being a human being.

Thank you. Good to see you save your bounteous empathy for those who wish to flout restrictions and not for those doing their best to follow them, who will be infected as a result and lose their lives prematurely, or their lung capacity for life.

PS: I would suggest you are an extrovert. Every day's a school day, isn't it.

I adheres to all the rules throughout lockdown and beyond and then I returned to school in Sept and I teach 150 pupils a day in poorly ventilated related small
Classrooms and we only wear masks on corridors.

I am in Tier 2. There is more to my life than work. If it’s safe for me to be in a room with 11-18 year olds, it’s safe for me to see friends and family.

I didn't mean to have a go at you @cbt944, and I wasn't assuming you didn't have an understanding of how difficult it is. I was just trying to make a general point that sometimes bubbles actually are less likely to cause spread of illness than households. Sorry if I wasn't clear, and I really hope things get easier for you.

I agree with you that in general lots of people are flouting the rules without good reason and it is selfish. But there is a big difference between that and OP's situation, which I don't think will come into conflict with the rules anyway.

I very much appreciate everyone who is taking this seriously. I am too.

We’re nowhere near that point. Sounds as though you’re worrying unnecessarily OP. Please stop scaremongering

I very much doubt that will happen but I agree that rules meaning no contact with another person are unreasonable. Covid isn't the only thing that matters and people who are vulnerable in other ways matter too.

I'd feel exactly the same OP

The rules are ridiculous. Just do what you need to do to maintain your own mental health OP. I've lost my wife during this pandemic after months of illness in which I maintained physical distance from.ger to 'shield' her, and after that horrific experience I'm not going to do anything that seems ridiulously restrictive and harmful to my mental.wrllbeing whilst politicians do whatever they damn well like.

I'm single. I've become very close to my cat in recent months. She's really saved my sanity.