Will I be allowed to do this?

[FeckArseDrinkGirls]

My aunt died yesterday suddenly and unexpectedly. She lived in Kent, I’m in Devon. I’m her NOK, as far as I know she had no close friends that lived anywhere near her.

Her funeral will hopefully be happening during half term and I’m planning to go up and clear out any sentimental items and food before getting in a house clearance company to do the rest. I can’t go beforehand as I have kids in school and when I do go I’ll have to take kids with me as I’m a single parent and have no one to leave them with.

I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable staying in her house so ideally want to stay in a hotel. Do you think I’ll be allowed to do this if there’s another lockdown as expected? I could stay in her house but it would mean taking loads of bedding with us so less room to bring back sentimental items (she was the last remaining relative on my deceased mums side so I think there will be lots that I’d like to keep).

Sorry if this sounds very mercenary. I’m just trying to think logistics.

Hopeful bump. I know we don’t know if/ when/ details of a lockdown yet but any ideas as to what I could/ should do would be appreciated.

You will probably be allowed to go as funeral were considered to be essential last time.
But I wonder if it is possible to go on your own and stay in the house?
You could just take a pile of sleeping bags if you all have to go?

Sorry, missed the line about no-one to leave the kids with

Don’t you need to see the will first?

Do you have someone in kent making arranegments? I ask because there was a massive waiting list here for funerals, so if you aren't already booking it, you might not get a half term slot.

I am sorry about your aunt,

@MarmiteCrumpet25

Don’t you need to see the will first?

Agree with this.

If she has left a will then you may be removing things that you have no right to and could get in to all sorts of trouble. She may have left it to a close friend or the dog's home for all you know.

It's probably fine to remove food from the fridge and maybe have a search for the will, but I would leave it at that for now.

Did she own her own home or is it rented?

No one in Kent to deal with it unfortunately. Solicitor has said the only ones mentioned in the will are myself and my siblings which aunt had already told us would be the case a few years ago. Both my sister and my brothers partner are due to give birth any moment (also in SW so couldn’t get there easily) so it will be for me to do.

She owns the house but I don’t think there’s any equity in it and an old car as well which I’ll need to find a home for too.

I didn’t know about waiting lists for funerals - thank you I’ll ask solicitor about that. I know that the solicitor has been told that he is to make the funeral arrangements. Knowing my aunt it will be the absolute bare minimum as she hated a fuss.

She knew she was ill for about 3 weeks before she died but didn’t want anyone told as she hated the thought of being an inconvenience or people feeling sorry for her. The whole thing just seems so sad. I never even knew her too well and I hate that I will have to go and sort through all her belongings and throw most of it away. It just makes life feel so small.

I don't see any reason why you can't stay in a hotel with your children as you are all from same household

Sorry about your aunt.

If she died suddenly and unexpectedly, then she'll need a post mortem?

You'll be be lucky to have the funeral in half term, PM's take some time (even without Covid in the mix)

She doesn’t need a post mortem - she went to A and E a couple of weeks ago, was diagnosed with an advanced form of cancer and transferred straight to a hospice where she died about a week later .

I can’t imagine she’d have wanted an actual service tbh. I don’t know what she specified but I’m pretty sure it will be the bare minimum. Obviously if it takes longer then I’ll make more than one trip but ideally hoping to get it all done in one go - it’s a good 7 hour drive even without Operation Stack.

There are some great Kent air bnbs which might be more suitable.

Hotels are open and will be grateful for your business. The usual chains like Premier Inn will be well managed and safe. I doubt any local lockdown will prevent this type of trip

I've just noticed on another thread that some of the restrictions don't apply if you are 'facilitating a house move' So I am guessing clearign out your Auntie's house would fit this too

Don't you at least need to obtain the grant of probate before disposing of someone's estate?

unless you are the sole executor (and it sounds like the solicitor is) then you need the written consent of the executor to dispose of any of your aunt's belongings. When I was executor I'd have wanted written consent from everyone named in the will unless the will itself gives authority to dispose of possessions ( if drawn by a solicitor it will probably do so).

Anyway legalities aside if any of you were close to your aunt then they may wish to take possessions that have sentimental value to them but not you, or to argue over who gets things. Talk to everyone concerned about what they might want.

The sensible thing to do is to stay in the house. If it's a house you wont need to sleep in her bed if that bothers you and your children wont care unless you make them feel wierd about it. Your aunt likely had a good store of bedding you'll need to dispose of.

If she had good neighbours it would be kind to offer them something from the house if they would like it.

If there is a lot you want to keep you can always use a service like send a case e.g. luggagemule.co.uk/ship-my-luggage/send-my-suitcase/

Do you have to clear the house immediately? Houses sometimes sell better if people can see how rooms will be used - and may even agree to buy items. Remove personal items but leaving furniture clearance for later would work since you plan to get a house clearance firm anyway.

There’s no rush to clear the house itself. The only real reason I want to get there quickly is the food in the house which will need disposing of as it’s already been there for the few weeks since she found out she was ill.

The solicitor is the sole executor. They said I can take any sentimental items such as photos but if there’s anything of value that I want then I’d need to let them know. I’m not sure there would be anything and even if there was it’s certainly not going to be anything that my siblings and I would argue over. Wrt the house clearance I just want to get some quotes while I’m there so that once I’m home and we are allowed to get them in I won’t have to go back up again.

I’m hoping it can be put on the market empty - I don’t think there’s any equity in it but my aunt had very eclectic tastes. I imagine it’s more likely to sell if every surface isn’t covered in ceramic dogs or a photo of Princess Di.

The neighbours were absolutely awful and wouldn’t even call an ambulance for her when she collapsed on her drive a couple of years ago. They’re getting bugger all.

I and my mum stayed in my Gran's house in similar circumstances. It did feel a bit odd being there without her but also rather nice in a strange kind of way. A chance to say goodbye to all of her life and toast her long life in the place we remembered her. Up to you of course, but I wouldn't rule it out as somehow inappropriate to stay there. It might be a lot more practical if you're going to be there a lot in the day and are taking children with you.

But I think if you do need to stay in a hotel that is clearly allowed at present, even if it's just for a holiday and definitely likely to go on being ok for dealing with the logistics of sorting out a funeral and house sale.

A local charity shop might take the ceramic dogs and the photos of Princess Diana (they can remove them and sell the frames) but they do tend to be a bit inundated these days. You might be able to take clothes there or the local supermarkets may have a charity bin for them. Kent waste centres are listed here www.kent.gov.uk/waste-planning-and-land/rubbish-and-recycling/find-your-nearest-tip

Sad that your aunt has such terrible neighbours. I've been offered something after a neighbours death and while we didnt take up the offer I appreciated it being made.