Student needs lodgings- should I or is it too risky?

[Mxflamingnoravera]

I used to work for a wonderful theatre school and they have a student who has not yet found a place to live. I've got a spare room and I live alone, I have a "boyfriend" (we're both in our 50s).

The school have been in touch to ask if I could take this 17 year old as a lodger. I've said yes but my bf has said "what about our bubble?" We've kept to our bubble since lockdown. It didn't occur to me when I said yes. Now I'm wondering if I should have given it more thought.

I need the money and I don't want bf to move in, but he's right to be cautious. Am I taking too big a risk? What do I need to put in place in terms of rules if I do go ahead do you think?

I've got as far as:
No visitors.
Wash as soon as come in.
Wash clothes separately.
Keep me informed about any infections in the school.

What else? Or should I back out?

No don't back out. You need the money and life must go on to some degree.

go for it - you already have background experience in the field - might well be lovely!

If you and your partner have quite a low risk lifestyle at present, you need to be realistic that letting a 17-year-old student into your home massively increases your Covid risk. Covid is ripping through universities at present and is also very common in schools. (I speak as the parent of a 17-year-old DD whose school has just sent an entire year group home due to number of Covid cases. ) I'm not sure there is much point to your clothes washing rules. The virus is airborne. If your lodger gets it,she will almost certainly transmit it to you.

I'm not sure about why I even suggested clothes washing, I'm just trying to think about what I need to put in place.

We've been so low risk and careful that I'm torn. I love teenagers and that aspect doesn't worry me, it's just the risk of transmission.

I'll meet her first and ask the school. Maybe a bit of googling too.

I'm mid fifties with three teenagers; two at high school, one just started university. We stick to "the rules" as best we can but we're working and raising our family. Your life seems quite limited. Are you particularly vulnerable? Are you working? What do you mean by sticking to your bubble? Only really socialising with your partner since March?

If you need money then definitely do it. But not just for the money; do it to maintain a connection with your former existence, the memory of which obviously gives you joy. Joy is particularly thin in the ground at the moment.

And washing clothes separately? What's the logic there if washing kills the virus?

Are you particularly vulnerable? Assuming not I wouldn't worry at all - most of us your age have teens at home.

I'm not vulnerable, I work at home at the moment (for a university). I don't have to go onto campus.

Apart from my son visiting for the whole week last week for his birthday I've been alone in the house since lockdown apart from bubble partner at weekends. He works in finance as a key worker but is the only person in his office.

I have an elderly mother with dementia who I cannot visit because the care home is shielding. I do have to take her to hospital because she broke her wrists a month ago and the care home won't take her (because they'd have to isolate) to have her plasters off.

I'm feeling less ok about it the more I think about it.

I think the situation of having teenage children and therefore having no real choice but to live with the risk that school brings is a very different situation from "importing" the risk into your own home by having an unknown teenager come to live with you. Infection rates are rising very rapidly at present. OP, if you and your partner want to limit social contact at present in order to protect your own health, no one should belittle that choice. If you do decide to take the lodger, I think you should establish expectations around Covid risk in advance, eg if the lodger is required to self-isolate due to contact with a covid-positive person, does she still get free run of the house or do you expect her to self-isolate from you within the house? What are your expectations if your lodger develops Covid symptoms? It's important to be clear on these things in advance. As a glance at a few Mumsnet threads will tell you, people have vastly differing attitudes regarding what is reasonable behaviour in relation to the virus.

Sorry i wouldnt take a 17 year old. The amount of ppl he will mix with at school plus travel. Also living away from home he may try stuff out that he couldn't get away with before. I couldn't risk it.

Unless you seriously need the money, it sounds more trouble than it's worth. But your life sounds terribly limited.

Also don't do it unless you can see more positives than potential threats. Your would be lodger is 17 and away from home, living with a stranger during a pandemic. They don't need to feel unwelcome or a burden. If you're not persuaded by whatever measures the school advocate, such as the use of surface sprays and social distancing, then better to pull out now than for them to face a list of extra rules and a wall of anxiety. The placement decision is two way and the lodger needs to feel welcome too.

I wouldn't take a 17 year old as there is the chance you may have to take your mother to hospital again. You are substantially increasing your own and your mother's risks of contracting Covid.