Been in contact with positive cases and PIL want to meet up

[Mogtheforgetfulmum]

I'm a secondary school teacher in the NE (so worst part of the country for cases currently) and under local lockdown.

It's our dd's birthday in a week and my pil have asked if we would consider meeting for an hour or two outside somewhere so that they can drop presents off and see their dgd. Dgd is 2 so won't be able to socially distance.

The school I work at has had several year groups sent home to isolate over the last fortnight and more recently several staff members have tested positive - one of whom was entirely asymptomatic. To date, I have taught 6 students who have gone on to test positive- so I've been in a room with them for an hour with no PPE before they have gone on to receive a positive result that week. Teachers aren't considered 'close contacts' as we have been told to maintain a 1-2 metre distance from pupils at all times and wear a mask in the corridors so I haven't had to isolate because of these. I'm expect many more staff and students will become ill and test positive over the next few weeks...

The decision has been left to me as I'm the one unsure about the risk. Dh is happy to meet them if they want to take the risk but also understands if I don't want to. It would be pretty horrific if I were responsible for their illness or death- to put it lightly. I have had family members/friends affected by this.

Basically, is this a risk we should take if they are happy to take it? Pil are in their late 50's and early 60's, slightly overweight and ex smokers (one was still smoking up until this spring but I think they have given up again recently).

But in local lockdown we're not supposed to meet even outdoors so I would say no on that alone. Plus if you're in a room with someone that gets a pos test you abs should be isolating. Maybe that's why there's so many cases in your school?

I really wouldn't, your DH is free to meet them if he wishes to.

School/government policy is that as long as teacher is maintaining distance and student in seat in rows then no need to isolate. This is happening across entire country. I thought it was illegal to meet anyone outside of your household under local lockdown too but when we looked it up the guidance says it's 'advised not to'- it would be illegal for us to meet indoors anywhere or in our garden.

I’d say no to you meeting them but ok for your DH to take your DD.

Thanks @TheGreatWave - that's what I'm leaning towards but hate the feeling that I'm the one being the spoilsport in a way and feel a bit fed up they can't all come to this conclusion themselves.

Are you in an area where people shouldn’t meet, even outdoors?

@Parker231 I could pass it on to dh or dd though?

PIL are not elderly, and not in any high risk group. More to the point, surely it is their decision to make.
But if you're worried, let DH and DD go, and you stay at home.
FWIW, I'm the same age as PIL, and am in a ( primary) school with no PPE all day, working across 2 year groups.

I'm in the north east too. Our DC birthday was just after we were put in local lockdown, grandparents and family dropped off presents and waved from the end of our 10ft driveway for a few minutes. But I'd have rather they hadnt as it meant we were basically confined to the house with bored dc. Can they not drop off presents, card etc and your household go out for the day to celebrate?

@SpookyNoise I'm in the North East - the guidance on the gov website says it's illegal to meet indoors anywhere and in a private garden but not outdoors. It says it's 'not advised' but not illegal. Unless we have misread the guidelines?

@Dementedswan they live about 3 hours drive away (sorry to drip feed like this) so I don't think they would want to travel all that way just to drop presents off and wave from a distance (and may be tempted to come in garden).

Personally, I wouldn’t meet them. If it’s not safe in a garden, then it’s surely not safe outdoors anywhere.
I agree with what you say about feeling guilty if you passed on anything.

@SpookyNoise yeah, I don't think they have taken banning meeting indoors/outdoors lightly and I do feel that we should be following all guidance even if it's just 'advised'. I have a close family member who was extremely low risk (fit, young, perfect health) but who still hasn't fully recovered 6 months after contracting it and I feel like that is clouding my ability to risk assess at times.

It really isn't the weather to be meeting outside, especially after a 3 hour drive. I understand I am NE too with parents three hours away (they are also in extra restrictions) but it just seems too much to go through. It's a real balancing act, but I also suspect my work wouldn't be too impressed if I had to isolate doing something that was advised against.

@TheGreatWave great point about work not being impressed if I were forced to isolate, having gone against advised guidelines. I really hadn't considered that! True too about the weather it would probably be quite miserable!

I would tell them it’s high risk, not ‘probably’ but ‘definitely’, and if I had to isolate I could lose my job. So thanks but you’ll be sitting this one out. Don’t worry about being a spoilsport, they’re not worried about putting you in an awkward position.

Mind you I’m quite blunt when the older generation carry on like this. I told my parent that it was not fair to put my children in a position of guilt if they made their grandparent ill, so it was not happening. They should do it for their beloved grandchildren. There will be other years for loving contact but they just have to be patient!

Well said @Lemons1571

I not only want to keep them safe but I also feel responsibility for doing everything I can to keep it out of my school/classroom- and not following the guidelines really goes against this and makes me feel uncomfortable.

That’s awful that teachers dont isolate if they have been in a room without ppe for an hour. It doesnt make sense. I think you should stay away from them as its not an urgent issue for you to meet them. Don’t give in to pressure from others, follow your instincts that there is a risk you have it after spending an hour with a positive case. I feel so sorry for you teachers. My job is soooo strict about the covid rules

I would say no from what you’ve said. Hard to be the party pooper but right now party pooping is saving lives.
Also, a 3 hour drive in total plus meeting up time = need to use public toilets. I wouldn’t want to in a high rate area.

This is all so bloody hard. So many moral dilemmas and difficult decisions when you try to do the right thing.

Hope you all have a lovely day whatever you decide.