Nothing brings me any happiness anymore

[Pizzaandrosehip]

I know it’s the same for everyone and I’m lucky for lots of reasons but I’m also high risk (previously shielded) and so is my dad.
I just find it so depressing having nothing to look forwards to. All the things I previously enjoyed either now aren’t happening (concerts, shows) or are just too much worry and hassle to bother with.
I’m not even that worried about catching covid, it’s more the constant rules and now nothing is spontaneous. I do understand why but it’s so depressing. I’ve had anxiety before, a few years ago, and it’s back again. The total uncertainty around everything, I’m constantly on edge and I’m really really tired all the time.
It all seems pointless really.

FascinatingCarrot posted:

I'm sick of waking up every day with the covid cloud hanging over me. I'm sick of worrying what my level of illness would be if I got it with 'an underlying condition'
I just feel like catching the fucking thing and getting it over and done with."

"Covid cloud" yeah, that's the way I feel, too. It's casting a shadow over everything. I'm writing this knowing that many people have suffered far worse, for far longer than 6 months, so I know I'm being a total whinger about this. I expect by next summer things will look different... vaccine might be rolled out to some people, plus many more people will have developed immunity through having the virus, so perhaps by then we'll have very low cases and a degree of herd immunity. Until then this new covid life has to be endured and we need to find ways of boosting our immunity, along with our mental health. Until then, it's good to be able to vent here.

But also I feel as though - even in the event kf a vaccine and things returning to ‘normal’ - im not sure I will be able to just go back to normal. I feel the constant low level anxiety is here to stay.

Completely fed up here too. I know I am lucky to have a job, and be able to work from home, but I miss daft things like meeting a colleague on the stairs and having a chat about the weekend/something on TV/a new jumper - completely mundane nonsense. My DP has been made redundant and money is tight.

We’re in Scotland so can’t even have a friend round for a glass of wine or lunch now, and the weather is completely shit.

I'm exhausted with it all....learning new rules and the little bits of those rules that you have to seek out, remembering masks/hand gels, sore hands, juggling work/childcare because despite a childcare bubble now being allowed, my parents can't choose between all their children and which one to help, which is a horrendous thing the Government are asking people to do, not seeing anything other than work or home as everything is booked up/busier than it should be or closed, not being allowed to see anyone other than my household or colleagues, figuring out whether the virus will be dangerous for us or not (there doesn't seem to be consistency), shitting myself if I or a family member coughs just the once, worrying myself on how we will juggle if 1 of us needs to isolate and others don't..how will we do school/work etc, trying to plan annual leave around school holidays whilst not knowing of out of school clubs will be open/family allowed properly to help, worrying about money, worrying about my children and what they are missing, how they are feeling, over compensating on gifts for them in lieu of them missing out, needing a break but not getting one, not being able to book a bloody haircut as my DH works weekends, I work in the week and no one can have the children......it is all just too much now, and I can't see a way out.

Meant to add, we don't expect my parents to choose which child to assist, we haven't put them in that position, but they are missing the grandchildren so much too, especially as they saw them all so regularly pre-covid.

Been made redundant, diagnosed with another chronic health condition over lockdown and a colleague of mine ended her life last week. Yep. Life is pretty crap.

I feel the same. My mental health is the worst it’s been since I had PND. I’ve lost two stone as my appetite is non-existent for weeks at a time. I hate working from home and miss adult conversation so, so much. There are no toddler groups on, no soft play, library, swimming pool, none of the things I would usually do to have a bit of human interaction and chat on my two days off per week with my 3 year old. It’s so fucking lonely. I really would rather wake up when this is all over but then I feel such guilt thinking that when my DS is so young and every day with him should be precious. Or maybe precious is a bit strong but I hate feeling like I want to sleep away a full year of his life.

I dont mind being in. Tbh, i didnt much go out. What i find hard is the thought of catching it. I feel I am literally waiting to catch it through my job :( I feel its a matter of time and although I try not to let it become a big thing in my mind, being in my fifties I worry about the impact it would have on my family. I do really hate this.

Working in a supermarket has absolutely taken it out of me the last 6 months. I'm tired and dealt with vile customers. I've just handed my notice in as found a new job not having to deal with the public anymore. So actually something I'm looking forward to now. Just have to last my notice period then I am gone

@Vivana I think it's really hard for supermarket staff at the best of times, but with thousands of people passing through the stores each day, it must feel like quite a hazardous occupation during a pandemic. Good luck with your new job.