DM's Care Home have stopped visits again - and in a low incidence area

[Baaaahhhhh]

So sad. She is already depressed and lonely. They have been allowing one visit per week, per resident, which was pretty restrictive anyway, as it meant each of her children only see her once a month, and no room for friends to visit, and they had only just started to allow entertainment back in.

We are in an area of stable infections, of between 20-30/100,000. Just feel so sorry for the residents.

It sucks doesn’t it. I’ve only seen my mum once since February, and that was through a window. The care home my mum is in have said that 3 visitors are allowed but can only be from 2 households, and must be outside. Because my mum has dementia and knows her 2 sisters, we have decided that my aunts will be the visitors. Not sure how the visits will continue, now though with the bad weather, as the visits were only allowed to take place outside.

Forgot to say, my mum has already tested positive for covid whilst in the care home, but didn’t have any symptoms

Our nursing home hasn't allowed visitors at all. So my father has spoken to me for 5 mins through a window once, and that's the contact with anyone outside the home he's had since early March.

Fortunately he doesn't have dementia and he roughly understands what's happening and why. It's much worse for those who can't understand what's happening.

I work in a care home and honestly although we all understand why, we (staff) all agree that it's getting to the point of being inhumane now. We can see the decline in residents' physical and mental health. We are doing our best to facilitate FaceTime, Skype and phone calls but they don't suit everybody. We spend as much time as we can with each resident but it's just not the same as them seeing loved ones. Families are angry and some are even threatening to force entry. But the anger, however justified, is misdirected as we have to abide by what IPC tell us. If a resident spikes a temp, regardless of the cause, even if it is a water infection they close us to visitors. It's ridiculous. Please, please write to your MP. I don't know what the answer is but truly, from the inside we agree with you. We love our residents and it's painful for us, we know it's much worse for you.

Fortunately he doesn't have dementia and he roughly understands what's happening and why. It's much worse for those who can't understand what's happening

Not sure about that. If you have dementia you often forget within minutes that you've had a visitor anyway. I think it's worse for those with all their mental faculties.

And any care home not allowing outside visits is being ridiculous. The risk is tiny.

Also these homes are not prisons, they are meant to be homes. The staff/management appear to have forgotten that very salient fact.

Sadly in a dementia home you can not contain the virus if it comes into the home.

We have some visitors, seeing their relative from their bedroom window, or in the front door. The family have had to wear masks and stay the 2m away. We have done skype, talking to their relatives on the phone.

I work night so don't see it.

This is elderly abuse. Even people in prisons are allowed visitors!!!

Gosh, I didn't realise most homes still haven't allowed visitors at all. That is just awful.

It's just fecking inhumane

Mil died today. We didn’t see her since March. But we’re thankfully allowed in for her last week and for the entire last 24 hours.
So that’s something.

My granny’s care home have stopped doing window visits, not even allowed to wave through a window. IMO it’s ridiculous and inhumane.
My granny is 92, she’s not going to live another 10 years, her life isn’t going to be ‘cut short’ is she passes away from covid.
I have come to terms that I will never see her alive again.

Makes a lot more sense than locking the students down which a lot of you are in favour of. Unfortunately the virus is particularly deadly for the elderly and vulnerable and while your relative may be happy to take the risk there are plenty of care home residents and staff and their families who are not happy to take the risk.

Same here. My Mum is in a nursing home in a v locked down area at the other end of the country. Seen her once through a window to show her pics of the kids, and spoke to her once through a locked door via her phone (they weren't even going to allow that but it was her 70th, we'd travelled 300 miles and I sobbed till they let me). She's starting to not properly know who I am - sudden and massive onset dementia earlier in the year

And for Bargebill19

We dont like seeing our residents suffer because of this virus. There is not only your parent in a care home, there many other elderly to consider.

My parents are in their 80s and live far away, ive not seen them since last year. They were suppose to come and visit but not able to and i cant go and see them.

Seen mum once since March. She is incredibly depressed and just wants to die now.

Unfortunately, it only takes one person to cause an outbreak that spreads like wildfire in such a hot, poorly ventilated and confined environment such as a care home. I work in back office support for a large number of care homes. One bank worker testing positive has led to 10 staff and 20 residents in the same home also testing positive. We're now exceptionally short staffed and playing the waiting game to see who will pull through.

And it's all very well saying Aunt X doesn't have 10 years left, let her slip away with covid so long as I can see her. You don't 'slip away' with covid. It's painful, undignified, scary and downright brutal to die from, with or without treatment.

It's painful, undignified, scary and downright brutal to die from, with or without treatment

As is any death, other than passing away in your sleep, which a very few lucky people do these days. Being really brutal, you have to die of something, and our elderlies are now living to such a ripe old age, that something will get them in the end. As a society I think we have stopped accepting death as a natural end. Those in their mid 80's onwards, and especially those in their 90's, tend to be much more accepting of death than we are, they saw a lot more of it in their youth, and I think they, in general, are happier getting on with their remaining life, in as normal as way as possible. Just my opinion, and very much the opinion of my 92 year old DM.

@FromTheAshes

Unfortunately, it only takes one person to cause an outbreak that spreads like wildfire in such a hot, poorly ventilated and confined environment such as a care home. I work in back office support for a large number of care homes. One bank worker testing positive has led to 10 staff and 20 residents in the same home also testing positive. We're now exceptionally short staffed and playing the waiting game to see who will pull through.

And it's all very well saying Aunt X doesn't have 10 years left, let her slip away with covid so long as I can see her. You don't 'slip away' with covid. It's painful, undignified, scary and downright brutal to die from, with or without treatment.

I have watched both of my parents die. Both of them become agitated and frightened, unable to talk or communicate in any real way. Having to wet their lips and balm their pressure points as their bodies stop taking in water or nutrition, helping them to turn while managing their pain and comfort, fighting for every breath knowing it could well be their last. And then it is, and they are gone and it is over. Throw in that timeline somewhere losing your mind as your brain shuts down. No one "slips away"

Not nice at all is it. My Grandma is in a care home and thankfully before this all kicked off my dad had bought her an alexa echo show and internet dongle so that we can video call her, I've seen her twice since march and usually go in every week, just want to give her a cuddle. Was wondering if they'd let me in as I had a negative test result yesterday 🤔 but then I still have a cough and slight cold, so can't risk passing that onto her. Really feel for anyone in a care home right now 😢

@NorthernChinchilla

Thank you. They ensured she didn’t suffer. Thankfully medication to ease her pain and distress was allowed without quibble. (Dr and district nurse.)

@Bargebill19 that's a bloody relief at least. This year has been so brutal.
My 8 year old has been breaking down/blowing up at school, in part I believe owing to missing his Granny and not knowing why.

Oh bless him. It’s tough for them even returning to school, with all the changes there too. Must be so hard when friends and siblings are split into different bubble groups and they aren’t allowed to mix.

@Baaaahhhhh very well said, i worked in care many years, I think we forget medical advancements reaally over extended our natural lifespan as a whole, plus like you said elderly people will have experienced more death in their own lives, let them live the autumn years with some dignity!. Its also the ASD, Learning Disabled adults who are dealing with these restrictions now like my sibling we have to visit outside, so a rainy day today, my mum comes from. a distance to see her, can't see her this week .