Socialising for shielding children

[Glencora]

I am a shielding mother, home-schooling my children.

My mother is seventy-five and lives with us so I choose to be particularly careful.

I am searching my area (Surrey) for other families who feel the need to shield and keep their children home, in the hope of finding friends for my two children.

I have been a Lower Years teacher for many years and have two of my own children (a girl of nearly four and a boy nearly twelve).

I am well aware of the importance of children's educational and social development from an early age.

I wish to find safe bubbles of friends for my children. Two of my son's classmates have also come out of school as their parents are vulnerable and able to work from home. However most children of my daughter's age seem to have started Nursery/Reception for the time being.

I have a largish garden with a climbing frame and big trampoline and sand pit, but I still take my daughter to the park and playground from time to time (when it is relatively empty). However I use hand sanitiser regularly and do not allow her to play in the sand unless it's in our own garden.

Please get in-touch if you are also a shielding parent wishing to find safe playmates for your child. Parent's are welcome for playdates but I am also qualified for childminding if it can be helpful.

By 'shielding' I mean:
Wear a surgical mask when closer than 2 meters away outside, and always in any shop (your children also).
Do most of your shopping online.
Never go to restaurants or bars or get takeaways.
Do not have any contact with anyone who is not also shielding.
Work from home.
Do not allow your children to be in close proximity with any school children.
Use hand sanitiser regularly when out.

I am in the same position, but I cant help as I live in the USA! It might help if you put the area in the thread title though, as you are looking for something very specific. Good luck

Aww sorry, we're out - cause of our (many) takeaways

Seems a bit silly when I can tell you we've done ALL of our shopping online, and not set foot in a shop since February...

I love takeaways, just worry about food that can't be re-heated such as sushi and other delicious things. We have had some delays in ordering groceries but it seems to be fine for now. Sounds like you are doing as much as any of us can at the moment. Like many others I'm trying to find a balance between protecting our health whilst still doing the best for our children's wellbeing.

We are getting takeaways, but like you only stuff that comes hot and we can reheat. I worry about cold food having been sneezed on etc!

Shielding is paused so why are you shielding?

@Tippexy, the government may have paused shielding for x,y,z reasons, however the risk to the vulnerable has remained the same.

The term shielding has a specific meaning.

I can see what you are asking about, but I would like to ask you to refrain from misusing a term which has a current defined meaning.

If you mean families which are currently priactising strict isolation (ie the things you have listed, which were not the stipulations NHS of shielding before it was paused) then it is better to say that.

But as you say you were shielding, then you know the difference (and would have had the letters about it). I do wish you well if shielding is reactivated (in your area, or even nationally)

It is my mother who is shielding as she is 75 and has underlying health conditions. She lives with us and still works giving zoom lessons and is not ready to die quite yet, so we are isolating. Does this explanation help with your irritation?

More specifically I live in Hampton Court, but can drive further away if necessary.

I completely understand why you're taking the precautions that you are ....

But whilst I don't want to sound overly cautious - do you really want to find someone online and trust exactly what they say they're doing or who they are?

I'm sure most people are genuine but I'm not sure if you are being so cautious it's a risk I'd want to take.

I wish I could say that what I'm saying hasn't come from a very bitter experience I've had, however, Ive had a late stillbirth and joined the SANDS forum (so that's the national charity of stillbirth and neonatal death). Everyone seemed absolutely lovely and all in the same sort of situation. One "woman " posted a lot and claimed to have lost a child... Then another.... and then another.... And finally she was outed by the charity themselves as having faked everything and was therefore preying on people at one of their most vulnerable times in life, having lost a child.

I just wouldn't have thought this was possible or anyone could be so cruel. I deleted everything id posted and left the entire site and asked for my profile to be deleted. (Even though I'm very private and had never written anything particularly sensitive because that's not what I feel comfortable with anyway ).

So I'm just urging you to be cautious about what you've suggested - no one here is checked by anyone and if you are taking the precautions you are... I don't know how much of a safe idea this is.

I don’t live very near you but well done for taking the initiative as I have considered doing something similar. We’re not as strict as you but due to bubbles with elderly and various health conditions, and just a propensity to follow the rules, we’re very careful. Literally none of our friends are as careful.

It is my mother who is shielding as she is 75 and has underlying health conditions

If your mother is shielding, now when shielding is currently paused, then she must have a very serious medical condition, at the extreme end of those on the list.

There is some additional advice of resident in tier 2 or 3 areas, but if she is in Surrey then she is probably tier 1 so again there must have been exceptional circumstances to reactivated shielding for her individually.

(Age isn't a shielding criteria, btw. You got the letter only on the basis of the list of conditions, or if your consultant advised it, which presumably is what has happened here to be shielding when most of the shield-list community is not)

And because it is so rare to have that individual advice, then I think you are pushing it to be going out at all, and completely wrong for you or your DC to seek to meet new people, even with the precautions. The advice is to only go out as few times as possible, when there is need (though solo exercise is (probably) OK - in practice that does mean your DC together with supervision) but it is important that you meet as few people as possible, even with precautions. Dont break your DMum's shield by advertising to get in close proximity with strangers who, as pointed out above, might not be Quite What They Seem

Shielding is a specific form of isolation, not a general term for diligence towards a different level of advice.

And to your DMum - shielding is an extensive and shitty interruption to your life, and is currently only active for those with the severe risk beyond the main ECV so it must be a very worrying time for her and for you.

My sympathies too! I’ve not been recalled to shielding, though am aware that some people with blood cancer have already been individually advised to return to it. It’s very tough, very lonely and hard on the household

Even though it’s only intermittently active, you might find it useful to join the support thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3943825-thread-3-shielding-chat

I have to say, I do agree that arranging meet ups for your DC would be a mistake