Unsure about whether to send 8 month old to nursery

[Bk8819]

My daughter is due to start nursery in a couple of weeks and I’m really uncertain about whether or not to delay her start because of the rise in coronavirus cases...everything seems very uncertain at the moment!

I know children / babies don’t seem to be at greater risk but I suppose my big fear is that if me and her dad get extremely ill for weeks or even potentially hospitalised worst case scenario I worry about having to look after an 8 month old during this / not being able to see her..she also sleeps terribly so not like we’d get any rest. On top of this my high risk mum has her for 1 day a week so it’s putting her at risk.

We’re both self employed and work from home so could potentially muddle through and cover childcare between us. But we’re quite torn as this could be going on for another 6 months and that’s a long time to keep her off (and still pay nursery bills I imagine!). We’re also trying for baby number 2 at the moment so wanting to keep as isolated as possible when we get pregnant.

Very torn between we may as well just crack on as things aren’t going to change and...if we’re able to delay and minimise risk why not.

Would you keep your baby off if you could just about manage childcare and still work?

Depends on the size of the nursery but I would send her in.

The Spanish flu pandemic lasted around 2.5 years. Granted there were other pandemics after that that affected the UK.

Also they are suppose to be releasing - well it should have been released - a way for GPs to calculate someones risk to Covid-19 so your mum may be lower risk than you think.

My DD who is 3 has been back since June. I wouldn’t hesitate to send my 6 month old (except I’m on maternity, she’ll be going in Jan). There’s absolutely no way I could work with an 8 month old (or any nursery aged child). I’d do a terrible job. You can’t take your eyes off a crawling baby for a second. We furloughed one of my team as she was making multiple mistakes trying to juggle her one year old & the job.

That said, if you are both self employed & willing to work unsociable hours to manage childcare for the next 6-12 months, then if you think it’s ‘safer’, go for it.

I personally would consider your child. If you don’t send her, are you able to give her your full attention, care & support while you are trying to work? To enable her to develop & thrive. If you are, then fantastic. If she’ll actually end up watching a lot of TV & left with stressy parents because it’s a real juggle, then I’d consider nursery. I’d also consider nursery in light of a second pregnancy. Many woman are pretty unwell & exhausted in the first trimester. Can you cope with that, a baby & work? Or will you need a break?

In regards to safety, if you are low risk, I don’t think you can or should live life worrying ‘what if we end up in hospital’. It’s very unlikely either of you would be that poorly & even more so both of you at the same time. The amount of times I’ve been ill with a child is too many to count. It’s hard, no-one sleeps for weeks but you get through it. You will catch every germ on the planet as a parent. As will your child. Covid is no different in that sense. You’ll get ill & you’ll muddle through. At the height of my hyperemesis pregnancy, I would be giving my DD a bath & repeatedly vomiting over my shoulder into the toilet. I’d be reading a bedtime story & have a bucket. I’d literally crawl back to bed & sob. Which made me sick again. Honestly, horrific. But I’m still here to tell the tale.

Your vulnerable mum is a catch here though. Mine is too & she doesn’t have my DD one day a week anymore. She has since August once shielding stopped but cases are high around us & she’s limiting social contact again. Is your mum a shielder? Because I suspect that’ll be back over winter & she might not be able to have your DD at all..

My children are grown up now, but if I was in your position, I would probably keep them at home unless you feel your child particularly needs to go. Both my children hated going to nursery and it took them a long time to settle.

@Bk8819

My daughter is due to start nursery in a couple of weeks and I’m really uncertain about whether or not to delay her start because of the rise in coronavirus cases...everything seems very uncertain at the moment!

I know children / babies don’t seem to be at greater risk but I suppose my big fear is that if me and her dad get extremely ill for weeks or even potentially hospitalised worst case scenario I worry about having to look after an 8 month old during this / not being able to see her..she also sleeps terribly so not like we’d get any rest. On top of this my high risk mum has her for 1 day a week so it’s putting her at risk.

We’re both self employed and work from home so could potentially muddle through and cover childcare between us. But we’re quite torn as this could be going on for another 6 months and that’s a long time to keep her off (and still pay nursery bills I imagine!). We’re also trying for baby number 2 at the moment so wanting to keep as isolated as possible when we get pregnant.

Very torn between we may as well just crack on as things aren’t going to change and...if we’re able to delay and minimise risk why not.

Would you keep your baby off if you could just about manage childcare and still work?

I will still send my 10 mo. Nursery needs to be good and able to have seperate bubbles babies / toddlers / preschool etc

I personally wouldn't unless I really had to. Only you know how necessary it is. If you don't send her, cancel her place. Sure if you are ttc, she might not need to go for a long time, so just cancel the place!

As a baby, I wouldnt have sent either of my daughters to nursery unless absolutely needed if we could have juggled. As a three year old, yes, they need to stimulation and peer interaction - but a baby? All she will get from going is picking up bugs. If you can manage not to send her I wouldnt.

I've just started my 11 month old at nursery - with some trepidation, but I'm at the point where I simply can't do my job from home to a decent standard any more - he's mobile and a complete (though cute) liability...

It's a small nursery which helps - only 20 kids in total. I also have other children in school so this has helped me accept a degree of risk for the sake of their social and educational wellbeing.

I very nearly didn't send him. But they get harder and harder to amuse / keep safe as they get older, and the benefits of a social setting begin to accrue as well.

I bc would but only if I could sent them for the day they'd normally be with your high risk mum. I wouldn't take that chance.

I wouldn't op, not over winter. Or do the very minimum. But I'm not working atm. I can imagine it would be very difficult if you were!

Op - I wouldn’t judge it on ‘my baby hated nursery’ or ‘my baby loved nursery’. All babies are different, you can’t predict it nor make a decision based on that. My first loved nursery, she went at 10 months for one day a week. Everyone told me she’d struggle to settle once a week but she was completely fine. Minimal tears initially & very quickly settled. But that’s not to say yours will or indeed won’t.

Our nursery doesn’t charge fees during lockdown or a full room closure. 50% if your child is isolating for another reason.

@palacegirl77

As a baby, I wouldnt have sent either of my daughters to nursery unless absolutely needed if we could have juggled. As a three year old, yes, they need to stimulation and peer interaction - but a baby? All she will get from going is picking up bugs. If you can manage not to send her I wouldnt.

This tbh. Baby doesn't really benefit do only good if you really can't manage.

I wouldn't send if I didn't need to - especially at that age - but it depends how much of a struggle working will be.
I found working at the same location as baby didn't work even with his dad around.

Personally I’d send her. Anytime I’ve calculated my likely productivity working around my DD. I’ve always ended up overestimating my ability to “muddle through” by a massive amount. Even if there’s another adult in the building who is technically on parent/career duty at a given time, it’s still massively disruptive for everyone and tough for kids to understand unless they’re teeny babies.