How to explain to DD?

[ifyouwantmebutnolongerneedme]

DD (adult - 22) has learning difficulties, autism and mental health issues . She lives in full time residential care due to past challenging behaviour; she’s been sectioned several times . She has no physical illnesses. She is not shielding . Her flatmate has the same issues and is also not shielding . Her carers wear full PPE (gown, gloves, mask and shoe covers) and change clothes twice a shift . They live in a self enclosed flat with own front door etc .

Care manager has allowed her to see me twice since February, at a distance of 2 metres, outdoors in a park, for twenty minutes each time .

They’ve recently updated their guidance, sent a seven page letter on Friday - stating we can only visit if:

One household of no more than 4 people

All feel perfectly healthy (no signs of illness which includes they said, feeling tired)

Maximum 30 minutes, once a week, same visitors each time

They have also said she cannot exchange any gifts, letters, parcels, in any form if handed over in person - including for Christmas and birthdays - as these may promote close contact, may have the virus on them and aren’t safe . They’ve suggested we send stuff via the mail instead that they can quarantine safely .

She’s also banned from eating and drinking , and using the toilet at all during any visit - hence why it’s maximum 30 minutes .

She’s phoned tonight upset as her keyworker decided to tell her she won’t be spending Christmas with any family - said she needs to get used to the idea that she will be in her flat with a carer instead, socially distancing, and she’ll get her presents in the post .

The letter we received on Friday ends with:

Please accept that your relative will not be used to you now, and may take time to become used to socialising again .

Surely this is insanity ? For a virus that is highly, highly unlikely to kill her ?

Wow.
Is she deemed as having capacity? Is she currently sectioned?
I’d look into Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards as this really doesn’t seem right.
It’s one thing supporting people to maintain the guidelines and law but imposing additional restrictions without completely valid reasons isn’t on.

Thank you - I’ve never heard of that . Even looking that up quickly that does raise a lot of questions . She is told she’s to ask permission frequently for lots of things eg she has to ask before she can spend money; she has to ask if she can have a takeaway or something ... she’s quite accepting of all that and is very rigid with rules and routines but it’s very difficult .

She is deemed to have capacity - I’ve never been told otherwise . Very poor communication from her care team who have said they can’t really answer phone calls on an individual basis but also don’t answer emails and don’t have a physical office I can visit ...

I will ring the council tomorrow and ask to speak to duty social worker, I’m more and more concerned especially them saying she won’t know us well anymore - that’s absurd and can’t be OK .

I have no experience in this area but this sounds really extreme. I really hope you get pointed in the direction of help.

@ifyouwantmebutnolongerneedme yes definitely ring the local authority.

It definitely sounds as though they are keeping things far too restrictive for her. The idea of residential care should be to support people in leading as independent a life as is safe & possible. From what you’ve said that doesn’t necessarily sound like it’s happening.

They may be limited in what can be discussed with you as despite being her mum, she is an adult with the right to confidentiality. Unless she explicitly states that details of her care can be discussed with you.

If necessary they can be challenged via a solicitor (some specialise in social care and / or community care) or via CQC.