Covid AIBU

[DerbyLassie]

A social dilemma I have:

I had a baby girl in June and as a solo mum have tried to make some new mum friends- very difficult during Coronavirus. I joined a hospital antenatal group online and we have kept in touch on text and zoom. In Summer one of the group suggested we meet up with our babies in the park to do light / fun workouts, with the buggies. It's been fab and has really helped getting me out and about and meeting others, getting fresh air after a pregnancy in lockdown and I know it has helped other mums. There are a group of 5 mums who have been meeting in our local park every week to do our little workout - all socially distanced of course.

Anyway on Friday morning they are meeting up again (after 2 weeks off due to people going on holiday). This week are 4 mums who said they are free to attend and of course 4 babies. This means we would be breaking the rule of 6 as it would be 8 people in total, including the 4 babies.

So far I think I'm the only one who is thinking about the rule of 6 as no-one has mentioned it. I don't know if the others don't realise or if they don't think we need to follow the rule.

I myself think that newborn babies and infants shouldn't be included, but I know they are. I am not keen on rule breaking. However these are not close friends- they are people I've only just met virtually and am really needing to make mum friends at the moment. If it was my group of besties I'd just say 'babes I'm not breaking the rules' but I don't know these ladies that well yet so I don't want to look like the dick if the group. I know loads of people would think this baby rule is stupid- and I do think it's a bit silly. But I have not broken the rules at all during the whole of Covid.

Should I tell them I can't go now because if the rule of 6? Or should I go? What should I say?

Children under 12 aren't included as far as I know....

Yeah I know they're not included, so my dilemma is how to handle the social situation.

@MildDrPepperAddiction

Children under 12 aren't included as far as I know....

Are you in Scotland?

Under 12s are included in England. If you're caught OP, you'll be fined.

I don't think it's very fair to include babies though!

I know they're included! That's not my dilemma! 🤷🏾‍♀️ I just posted to ask advice about how to deal with this specific social situation...

Why not just ask how you can manage the rule of 6? I'd suggest two pairs and swapping halfway so you can chat to someone else.

Sorry- for clarity! Children of all ages ARE included in the rule of 6 in England. I apologise I didn't make that clear in my original post as I forgot that rules are different in the other nations.

So 4 mums and 4 babies = 8 people which is against the English rules but not the Scottish or NI.

Will babies just be staying in prams/will the other women be interacting with the other babies?

Babies just stay in prams and everyone keeps a social distance.

Put all the babies together 2 metres away (just over 6ft) under a tree or something then you have the baby group of 4.
Then as you the Mums are 2 metres away so that's the other group of 4.
Then when you've finished your exercising just split yourself into 2 groups of 4 & make sure you are 2 metres away & you can still chat etc.

@TracyBeakerSoYeah but we will always be 2 metres away from each other anyway because of social distancing. The rule of 6 doesn't mean that the 6 people can ignore social distancing...?

Can you split into two groups of four? Swap the pairs around each week to maximise variety, and do zoom calls together to maintain the group feel.

If you dont want to break the rules, that is your choice. I would try and come across in a breezy "oops I just thought, wouldnt there be more than 6 of us? I'll bow out this week so we dont go over the numbers. Have a good time!"
Dont make a big deal about it. Maybe next week someone else will offer to bow out or they might discuss trying to make it fair, but maybe they wont and unfortunately you'll miss out.
Are there any others in the group you could meet up with separately?

I'd take a chance tbh. Police will advise and cajole before fining. So if approached by the police just say, sorry and leave without making any fuss.

Sounds a little like organised sport to me. I would take the risk

Organised sport- maybe, although it's just a group of mums. What about if we stood on the grass and had a socially distanced chat?

@DerbyLassie

Organised sport- maybe, although it's just a group of mums. What about if we stood on the grass and had a socially distanced chat?

However you meet you will be breaking the law, whether it’s for your exercise or for a chat. So it’s up to you really to decide if you want to break the law or not. Not saying I agree with the rule, I’m in exactly the same position and now can’t meet with my nct group which has been my lifeline over summer. It’s so unfair babies are included.

I wonder if babies count even if they are in a sling. Or if you are still pregnant?

@Treesofwood

I wonder if babies count even if they are in a sling. Or if you are still pregnant?

They count in a sling still unfortunately. They don’t count if they are still inside you!

Go ahead and do your normal meet up. If the police approach you I’m sure you will be given the opportunity to disperse before being fined. What you are doing sounds perfectly reasonable and is beneficial to your physical and mental health.

There are ways you can make this work within the rules if you all want to.

@Mintjulia

Can you split into two groups of four? Swap the pairs around each week to maximise variety, and do zoom calls together to maintain the group feel.

^This

Don't do your normal meet up.

Just message them and say that you are worried about getting a fine as you will be clearly seen in public. As a pp said, suggest you meet in pairs, then swap - just keep a good distance between the 2 groups. OP try and relax, you have been enjoying this activity and it is likely to come to an end soon enough with the way things are going.... I would go and enjoy whilst you still can! It sounds like a really lovely activity and very beneficial to your mental and physical health. Don't let it fizzle out!

Good idea, thank you