Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Are dc safe at school or are you considering taking them out to teach at home?

102 replies

SistemaAddict · 20/09/2020 10:32

I'm in Greater Manchester and my area is now in the red zone. I'm extremely clinically vulnerable and was shielding from March to August but was told to continue being extremely careful regarding social distancing, hand washing etc.
I have 3dc and am a single/lone parent with no one to help out. One dc at primary school with no social distancing anywhere, a two-way one-way way system that means queuing for around 30 minutes at drop off and pick up mixing with all year groups. The other two dc are in bubbles of around 360 each but their school has taken better measures as far as possible.
Ds at primary managed 3 days before falling ill and passing it to me resulting in 2 courses of steroids and antibiotics as I got a secondary infection 10 days into the virus. We couldn't get tests in the first 5 days.
We are now at the end of the 14 day isolation period. I am still unwell, ds still coughing, sneezing and has a mild fever. Both dds ok but mild fevers. Nothing I would keep them off for normally.
Now that we are in the red zone I am seriously thinking of taking them out of school and using online resources to keep them up to date with their education. I'd rather them be in school but with the local rates and the fact ds and I got ill so quickly after going back and the testing situation I'm thinking we are safer at home.
Is anyone else in a similar position? Have school been supportive?

OP posts:

Satsunday · 20/09/2020 14:34

We had just about decided to keep them off. But then I have this horrible guilt and feeling like I am depriving them of fun and social interaction. Most of the people I know aren't worried about it at all. I can't work out if they are right or I am. I'm not sure what to believe anymore or what to do for the best.

Original poster

SistemaAddict · 20/09/2020 14:53

I feel the same. I feel I can give them the necessary support to learn at home (I'm a trainee TA, have a degree and a couple of post grad qualifications in nursing so I have a decent brain that I will happily dedicate to home learning) but it's the social side. Dd1 was so happy to see friends again. I can encourage FaceTime and maybe socially distanced visits in our garden along with the usual WhatsApp nonsense they love. It's not the same I know but I don't know what else I can do that looks after all our needs and safety. Ds has got no one except me. Dds have a feckless abusive father so no go there either.

It's both sad and reassuring to know others are in similar positions.

OP posts:

Beebityboo · 20/09/2020 14:53

I know exactly what you mean @Satsunday. It's like I never have a firm grasp of what the situation actually is, what the risk actually is. I've never been this unsure as a parent before, it's awful .

Satsunday · 20/09/2020 15:10

Yes same here. I feel reassured too that there are a few of us feeling like this but I wouldn't wish feeling this awful about it on anyone. I can't just go with my gut feeling as of course my gut feeling is to do everything I possibly can to keep them safe. But that doesn't mean it's the right decision for them. Mine loved being back too - they were so happy. Earlier today we had decided not to send them. Then I read about the very low risks and think argh maybe I should. I'm struggling to think about anything else at the moment. It's so horrible.

Original poster

SistemaAddict · 20/09/2020 15:22

The risk to the dc is very small but the risk of them passing it to someone ecv is the worry. Although dd1 is now on extra asthma treatment so if she got it her chest isn't the best it could be and is more likely to unwell.

OP posts:

Swatsup · 20/09/2020 15:32

Your title asks if your kids are safe at school, I would say yes they are. This could be about for years so how long would you keep them off school/ isolating for?

Kmx123 · 20/09/2020 16:09

@Beebityboo

Does anyone think that they may change it soon so that we have a choice again? My main worry is we deregister and then they do (yet another) u-turn and we will have deregistered for no reason. My eldest has to go to secondary on a packed school bus where barely anyone else is wearing a mask, it's just all so ridiculous. I don't think I've ever felt this angry and this powerless as a parent before, sending them back just feels wrong.

I was hoping this but it doesnt seem There going to

Keepdistance · 20/09/2020 16:34

The risk to an average person or child under 40 is low.

My covid risk came out as 37. But if i did have it, i was really struggling to breathe. And couldnt go to hospital as it was peak.
Asthma/pcos/thyroid issues.
Was i unlucky maybe. The kids coughed for 8w each (under 10yo)

Still concerned though. Schools are not 'safe' many of us have already caught things off the kids from school.
But anyway realistically as mine get coughs with every cold (as do i) they will NEVER be at school without fast testing

Bulblasagne · 20/09/2020 16:48

Beebitty

Why did you tell them the truth?
What do you expect them to do?
They, have been told that fines are back in force, the gov wants them back there is no Lee way.

The poster who suggested you tell the truth, have they come back to suggest next steps for you?

Op, you could have easily said any of you were not well and trying for a test to buy yourself time.

I guess you'll have to send them in tomorrow, and maybe the next few days and then pull the one of us doesn't feel well!!

I took mine out before lock down, my younger school was totally understandable, so I told them the truth, the others school was proudly holding sporting fixtures right before lock down eg, don't worry we aren't canceling!.
I just said everyday that dd wasn't well.

Bulblasagne · 20/09/2020 16:51

@ke @monkeytennis97

Bulblasagne · 20/09/2020 16:52

@Keepdistance

Can I ask why pcos has anything to do with your risk please

Beebityboo · 20/09/2020 16:57

I just didn't want to lie and I thought that the head would be more supportive than she was. I have already had them home a week and my eldest has been home for two, so I can't see anyway of buying any more time without just outright lying, and then what? It doesn't seem like they are going to close the schools and half term is five weeks away here. I really feel like I need to decide one way or another.

Beebityboo · 20/09/2020 17:00

I've just read that there were 200 admissions today in hospitals, I mean for Gods sake, how can they put families in this position?!

Shitfuckoh · 20/09/2020 17:03

@Beebityboo
Sorry to her the headteacher isn't supportive.
None of us are clinically vulnerable & my DC are attending school at the moment but I am concerned about the way the numbers are going.
I fully appreciate DC are 'very low risk' but their teachers are not & in DS1s case, some of his friends are not either (Special school).

Original poster

SistemaAddict · 20/09/2020 17:09

@Beebityboo I've emailed to say ds still has a fever as he does. The guidance says 48 hours without symptoms and that's what the school have sent out. I'm going to draft a letter later to the HT/HOY at both schools drawing on all the info I can. If there was sd and masks then I'd feel happier but there isn't.

OP posts:

Original poster

SistemaAddict · 20/09/2020 17:12

Just do what you need to do. The bus situation alone would have had me pulling mine out. Luckily they all walk. Half term is 5 weeks away here too. No way I'm waiting that long. I'm waiting to see the GM rates today to give more I go in my emails.

OP posts:

ProperlyPdOff · 20/09/2020 17:13

My DC need to be in school (or at least for most of the time) - A levels are not something a parent can teach and the complexity and new material needs a teacher in front of them.
Mental health would be impacted by DC stuck at home on their own for any prolonged period of time after last lockdown (esp. only children).

Beebityboo · 20/09/2020 17:16

Sorry to hear DS isn't well @Bercows. All our school wanted was a negative test.
I'm bordering on frantic to be honest so have had to come upstairs to calm down. I genuinely don't know what else I can do other than deregistering or send them.
I strongly suspect the head of the primary will involve the attendance officers if they aren't in tomorrow. I would just pay the fine but obviously can't do that indefinitely either. DD has to get a 45 minute bus each way and is one of the only kids wearing a mask because it just isn't being enforced.
Sometimes I feel like just catching it and dealing with what comes next would be better than this constant, unrelenting dread.
I'm very fortunate that none of my DC's have health issues. If they did I would be deregistering 100%.

Beebityboo · 20/09/2020 17:18

Sorry i've just realised I'm repeating myself a little bit. Just feeling quite panicked and have no one to really talk to about it other than DH, who thinks it's too soon to remove them entirely.

Satsunday · 20/09/2020 18:26

I just go round in circles. One minute going to keep them home. Next thing I'm telling myself not to be silly. It's an impossible decision.

notevenat20 · 20/09/2020 18:33

There is almost no risk for children. The debate is whether they are likely to catch it and then pass it to someone vulnerable.

covetingthepreciousthings · 20/09/2020 18:34

I feel like it's an impossible decision. We pulled our DC out about a week before they closed. We have vulnerabilities in the family but not enough to warrant shielding.

I am torn, as I'd be happy to keep Youngest DC going to preschool as it's a very small bubble and mainly outdoor forest school type setting. However My eldest DC is in a bubble of 36 ish at school in his class, but I know if I pulled him out and deregistered him he'd be gutted and really upset (primary).

We've already had to isolate as family once so far, and I don't think DC will cope as well being in and out of schools over just being at home.

Original poster

SistemaAddict · 20/09/2020 18:55

Well dd1 now has a fever and is streaming with snot. She's has changes to taste for weeks now though so I do wonder if she had it previously when we were all ill in March. I've just tried to book her a test but none available again. Today was day 14 of her self isolation but she said she's felt congested since last night. I'll keep trying with the test but no postal tests at the moment. Dd2 is 37.5 with the very occasional cough, not enough to call a cough. Bollocks.

OP posts:

YouJustDoYou · 20/09/2020 18:55

My work is in a nursery if I have them at home, I don't earn. So they're going to a school.

eeeyoresmiles · 20/09/2020 19:15

@Satsunday

You can both be right - there isn't a single right answer for every family. There isn't an option that doesn't have some costs as well as some benefits, either. Even for families who have superficially similar circumstances, there will still be individual factors that make the final difference, even just gut feel. And it's OK to only be, say, 51% sure - the point is, if you feel more confident about that choice than the opposite one, then that's the one for you, regardless of what other families are doing. So don't lose too much time trying to find certainty - this is such a new situation, that's just not going to be possible.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread