How to preserve mental health?

[Heartofstrings]

My two year old has a cold WITH an awful chesty cough. Official guidelines...cough...isolate and/or test.

Two weeks ago, after one day back at preschool my three year old got a fever. So in four weeks of preschool my boys will have done four days instead of the 12 days they should have done.

So now, once again, home with a two year old and three year old (3 year old likely has ASD). Work is intense so husband will have them during this time. I work afternoons and evenings so don't get evenings and then husband has to cram his work from early morning till 2pm.

I just seriously am at the end of my rope. I'm so SO tired and really don't have the emotional energy for this. We are riddled in debt and so can't renew our amazon prime yet or buy anything. And truthfully the boys are fed up of.screen time after such a long 6 months.

Any tips?

I really feel for you - it is so hard and there seems to be no end in sight.

I have had my days where I just wonder if I am losing my mind. I feel impaired by all the zoom calls and mental load.

I’ve found that focusing on what you do have control over really helps. Making time for yourself. Getting outside as much as possible and exercising. I was worried about money and put it all in a spreadsheet and cancelled stuff I wasn’t really using. I made my work space at home nicer and more separate.

I still feel a lot of dread but focusing on what I can do and trying to put what I can’t control to the back of my mind helps. I do know it is exhausting. I hope you find a way that works for you.

I'm spending on average 6 hours per day on zoom for work. It feels like a lot of emotional effort. And this is without the emotional needs of my boys on top

have you been able to get a test for your 2 yr old?
Maybe you could have a way to keep a countdown of when they can go back to preschool as something positive to fous on, then at least things will ease a bit for you.
For the remaining days they are at home make sure you do as much as you can to look after yourself too. Eat well, try and get enough sleep (wishful!) try and get some fresh air every day. Set the bar low for your standards and remind yourself this will pass!

We've not managed to get a test booked yet. I've been trying hourly since they were up at 5am

I’m away to resign my job tomorrow mainly because of the domino effect of what you’ve written.

I could have written your post myself, we are not in debt and it’s financially nervous enough, I can’t imagine what extra stress that creates.

I feel not a single day goes by when I’m not like “ok so which child will be ill/sent home today”?

Working parents are pretty fucked anyway but yet again the burden of responsibility seems to fall to the mums.

I never thought I’d resign before the end of my contract but I have to as I can’t guarantee a quality service, I’m burnt out and I truly feel the need to clear the decks totally ready to catch whatever kid is ill that day.

I've just realised my eldest has two important medical appointments this week that we will have to cancel

Not sure if this will help, but a chesty productive cough is not a symptom of Covid-19.
Covid-19 coughs are dry (according to various symptom checkers).
I know you are being responsible, but that may give you some reassurance about allowing your DC out and about.
Obviously a fever is a symptoms Covid-19 and requires a test and/or self-isolation.

@Heartofstrings I know, my previously fun and social job is now endlessly zoom-based. I haven’t got any mental energy left at the end of the day anymore.

I’m a single parent so I feel a massive burden trying to keep it all together for my DD.

I was in the dentists this week and the appoitnment before me was mixed up and she had been waiting 25 minutes and was crying that she was a single parent juggling working with weird pickup times. So many people are stressed out of their minds trying to exist.

I do know similar stress to what you are describing. It’s not the same but we are in the same category! It is so hard on working parents. There are so many of us and it’s not acknowledged by the powers that be what we are going through. There’s no help and the threat of no childcare is terrible!

Trying to have some meetings on the phone rather than zoom helps. I put them on speaker and wander about, Apprentice-style. And unload dishwasher/fold clothes etc!

Definitely turn the camera off on some zoom meetings otherwise it's like being observed the whole time.
DS has been off all last week with cough which was actually part of hideous cold which I have now caught. He can't get to sleep most nights as has not been doing enough activity as I'm working the whole time
Things I try and do
Yoga with Adrienne for 20 minutes each morning
Daily walk (we have a dog so this helps)
I have re-started an old interest and have a new Instagram page for following/reading and getting new ideas for that
Trying not to stress about what the kids are doing /not doing because there are no solutions and we will survive

It's hard and I have felt disassociated recently because there is zero let up. Ugh 😩

Unfortunately there is no chance to turn the video off on zoom as I AM the meeting. I tutor so am attempting to run decent and engaging sessions for both groups and individuals, write up my assessment and planning notes, communicate with parents...

Try to keep my kids alive and happy and stimulated and prevent them from killing eachother.

Juggle a very financially precarious situation.

We still can't get a covid test. Official guidelines don't state dry cough. They simply state new and continuous cough. Yesterday his cough was dry. My throat is killing me this morning and my head is pounding. Been up with the 2 year old since 4am because of his cough.

I need a holiday from 2020
Ironically my eldest boy was put on the covid ward at the hospital 10 days before my youngest started showing symptoms. Eldest was covid negative but dh has had to put in a complaint about one particular member of staff not using PPE properly