Covid mental health

[Ellsbells12]

Not sure if there is a thread but anyone suffering mentally feel free to get support ❤️

@RainbowParadise

Thank- you.

I also agree that we need to take steps to. Prevent the virus overwhelming our services ( with the knock on effects) but also thinks there needs to be some balance. Or at least understanding. I suppose the difficulty is giving clear but nuanced messages. And I guess I do have to say at least the government allowed single people to bubble - so some recognition there.

But it is very hard for some people - my mum for example has become extremely anxious during this and basically never leaves her house. She was meeting friends in her garden but that has now stopped as a lock down area. I’m genuinely very worried for her mental health ( both short and long term).

I also can’t imagine how hard it must be if you are single and live alone. At least my kids are some interaction and I get cuddles from my youngest and although very hard it does mean there is that routine and noise etc in the house. I’m so sorry for all those who live alone and are finding this difficult.

Can I join too, please? The rule of 6 also hit me hard but I tried to gather myself together and make the best of it, enjoy what freedoms I have. But yesterday the realisation that even that is likely to be taken away just leave me feeling so bleak and full of despair.
Like many on this thread I'm a single parent and I spent a lot of March to August not really seeing anyone, apart from 1 or 2 friends. Me and my DS have just be been starting to meet up with people more and make new friends, and now it looks like that will be constrained.

I miss my old life so much it's almost like a physical pain. to anyone struggling with their mental health right now.

@RainbowParadise

I have to say and it's just being honest that the only way my mental health is going to improve is for life to be more like normal again,

It's completely unnatural to 'socially distance' from people and for me, there's nothing that medical services can do.

That's just me. I know other people are different.

Exactly. It's something I've noticed in normal times too, but so much more obvious now! The sort of denial, or lack of recognition, that life circumstances and events have a huge bearing on mental health.

I'm in the same boat as others re. the chance to meet someone and have my own family. It's devastating. And we can't even have the consolation prize of making the most of the freedom not having children brings. I've got to the stage where I can just about accept only having the chance for one child but wanted to make the most of child-free time before then. Then everything was cancelled. And the DC of single parent friends I played "auntie" to are now in school but not allowed to see me (I'm in NE under stupid cruel restrictions)...

littlestpogo The lack of empathy from those in more privileged positions is awful

This is so true, and disturbing. About two months into lockdown some complete bitch on Facebook called me a murderer for pointing out it was a bit much to expect people who live alone to have NO normal contact with anyone. She went on, from her position of privilege, to say that the reason I hadn't had someone to move in with at short notice before lockdown (bearing in mind I'm WFH and have pets) was obviously because I was a horrible person. The stupid cow had her recent wedding pic as her profile pic so it was obvious that not only was she not alone, but was with the best person one could wish to be in lockdown with. Apparently being in a vulnerable-to-covid group means she matters and no one else does. Worse, the left-wing protesty types who would have seen the post didn't defend me or do their usual rush to point out privilege and consider humane living conditions. I felt so let down by the people I thought I was aligned with. Bastards!
Feel better now I've written that!

@BoJoTookMyMojo I agree with everything you say. I'm fully expecting someone to come on this thread and shout 'granny killer' at me.

I absolutely supported a lockdown and measures to stop this virus. I do worry that the effects of lockdown are going to be worse than the virus though- the number of jobs that have been lost, education, the women trapped with their abusers. I shudder to think what would have become of me if I'd been with my ex throughout this. Still, measures were needed- but with more balance. I'm sick of it on mumsnet at times, some posters going on about how selfish people are, and how if they stuck to the rules we wouldn't be in this mess.

Fact is, the public complied far more than was ever expected. And the reason we are in this mess is because the government fucked up. Not society.

I would say the same to you, please don't let this stop you meeting people. Online dating is a pain but honestly there will be plenty of men wanting to meet and start relationships. Don't give up 💐

That woman on Facebook sounds vile btw, this pandemic has brought out the worst in people. I know some people have been amazing throughout but sadly I've seen more of the opposite.

@BoJoTookMyMojo and @RainbowParadise completely concur with your comment about mental health. Anti-depressants won’t change the situation and that is what is making me feel (and I do not use this term lightly) depressed and without hope. Same with counselling etc which I have tried before. I wholeheartedly support people doing whatever works for them but having tried these things previously, know they don’t help me long term.

@Bojotookmymojo please chat on here as you are not alone. The chances of me having children and extremely slim and my age is a factor too. I am not ashamed to say I have cried tears on many occasions at the thought of not being a mother and I completely understand it is very hard work being a parent and that I will likely not know how much until I had a child but it’s a deep desire of mine. So I can understand how down this whole situation is making you feel x

Perhaps we need a "single mothers due to covid restrictions" thread where we all use sperm donors and while away further lockdowns preparing for babies 😂...
... Actually I can't even tell if I'm joking anymore...

to those without children (and other halves). It took me many years to fall pregnant and it was v hard. Can't imagine beingbin that position.

I'm separated from kid's dad. Kids spend most of time with me. Just been readingbon twitter that govt are trying to delay a full lockdown til closer to half term to minimise loss of teaching time. Though i love my dcs to bits, I'm trying to recover from ptsd and more recently severe spinal injury. I cannot face having them home again.

I also can’t imagine how hard it must be if you are single and live alone. At least my kids are some interaction and I get cuddles from my youngest and although very hard it does mean there is that routine and noise etc in the house. I’m so sorry for all those who live alone and are finding this difficult.

Thank you

When you are alone and in lockdown there was no escaping the situation, oh go and meet friends, you cant, go and sit in park you can't, I even got to resent my daily exercise and made me angry. Everything I enjoyed was taken away, No amount of anti depressants will help that situation.

So if they do have another lockdown I will pick and choose what rules I follow for my own health.

Heresme totallly. Though I've found it hard with dsc 24/7, being on your own is something else...

@RainbowParadise
I don’t want to give up but I just don’t see how it’s possible anymore.
Iv been having counselling for a while as I genuinely believed I wouldn’t be good enough for anyone, low self esteem, lack of confidence etc but was starting to make progress and putting myself out there more.
Just feels like the opportunities to do this are pretty much gone for me now.

It’s hard to explain but I need to get to know someone over time without any sort of pressure. With online dating I feel like I need to know straight away once iv met up with someone. But I’m not the sort of person who gets those instant feelings. I think I probably don’t relax and put too much expectations on myself which doesn’t help.
Online dating is a omething iv vaguely considered trying again during lockdown but I’m just not sure it’s the way forward for me.

@Ellsbells12 I am in Scotland

Thanks @BrunetteAli I feel like all I’m doing is moaning on here but it’s good to get how I’m feeling out. I’m sorry to hear you are feeling the same.

The uncertainty and waiting for what’s going to be announced probably tomorrow has been building all day.

I’m sorry to hear so many of you are struggling.

I don't know how to carry on any more. The pain of existence was bad enough before this pandemic

How is everyone today !!! I am not sure how much I can take if this !

I’m trying to be calm but underneath feel like I’m drowning. It’s like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off with whatever the new restrictions will be.

Hope you are ok @Ellsbells12

I’m so scared of losing being able to have company again. Im already struggling with it being pretty limited but to end up with none is just going to be awful.

@runningpink

I’m trying to be calm but underneath feel like I’m drowning. It’s like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off with whatever the new restrictions will be.

Hope you are ok @Ellsbells12

I’m so scared of losing being able to have company again. Im already struggling with it being pretty limited but to end up with none is just going to be awful.

Whitty just said 6 months not indefinitely that made me feel better

[quote littlestpogo]@RainbowParadise

Thank- you.

I also agree that we need to take steps to. Prevent the virus overwhelming our services ( with the knock on effects) but also thinks there needs to be some balance. Or at least understanding. I suppose the difficulty is giving clear but nuanced messages. And I guess I do have to say at least the government allowed single people to bubble - so some recognition there.

But it is very hard for some people - my mum for example has become extremely anxious during this and basically never leaves her house. She was meeting friends in her garden but that has now stopped as a lock down area. I’m genuinely very worried for her mental health ( both short and long term).

I also can’t imagine how hard it must be if you are single and live alone. At least my kids are some interaction and I get cuddles from my youngest and although very hard it does mean there is that routine and noise etc in the house. I’m so sorry for all those who live alone and are finding this difficult.[/quote]
Thank you for acknowledging single people. The last 6 months have been the worst time of my life. I live alone and am in my 30’s. not having any human touch for so long, not even an arm round a shoulder type thing was too hard to put into words.

I will get absolutely slated for saying this but for those people with children/partners (good partners, not the abusive ones), you have no idea how this feels for those of us completely alone.

As well as the obvious problem of meeting anyone during these times, the ‘clock’ ticking etc, just the total aloneness and isolation is overwhelming.

@Ellsbells12 6 months then we can have our lives back, no masks etc or 6 months and we can lift restrictions a bit?

I don’t think I can do another 6 months especially over winter.

That briefing felt like a kick in the guts. Dreading what Boris is going to say tomorrow 😫

cloudmonkey its a medically recognised thing called "Skin Hunger". It's real and very hard to live with.

I'm also struggling with more restrictions. Surely they should shut pubs and restaurants. I'm worried its going to be no socialising, not even with one household soon 😪

@colouringindoors

cloudmonkey its a medically recognised thing called "Skin Hunger". It's real and very hard to live with.

I'm also struggling with more restrictions. Surely they should shut pubs and restaurants. I'm worried its going to be no socialising, not even with one household soon 😪

I really don't want them to shut pubs and restaurants. Not because I'm bothered about not being able to go to them temporarily, I can live with that. I can't bear more people losing their jobs and livelihoods and all of us losing these things because they won't reopen afterwards if this carries on. We will lose so much culturally if this continues 😞

What a nice thread for a change .

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/21/left-no-one-uk-mental-health-deteriorated-covid

The mental health impact if Covid is real and significant

Can I join please? I'm a single mum, with very, very little support. No support whatsoever from family. I got the email today that I've been dreading, my 5 year old daughter's whole year group has to self isolate for 14 days as a teacher tested positive. My mental health is already very poor due to covid but the thought of being stuck indoors with my daughter for the next 14 days, not even being able to leave the house for a walk, having to do my very stressful and increasingly demanding (yet low paid) job and entertain my daughter with no escape, has put me at an all-time low. This will keep on happening, with the constant merry go round of school closures and self-isolation. I'm thinking that there's no point in her being at school any more if she'll keep having to self-isolate every time someone in her year group tests positive. With this and the utterly depressing announcement from Whitty and Vallance today about there being worse to come and seemingly still no end in sight I'm seriously contemplating suicide.

@Wannaflyaway 💐 I'm so sorry you feel like this. I'm having a rubbish day with it all as well. I hope someone better than me is along soon but wanted to show some solidarity 💗

@Wannaflyaway I'm sorry you're feeling so low, lovely. It is really tough. Is home schooling an option for you guys? I'm a single parent too with very little support, and I home school my 12 year old DS. It has been really hard at times but having him at home so that school aren't playing silly buggers messing us around means that there is at least that feeling of predictability and stability when it comes to education. I think the uncertainty is one of the worst things about all this. Would keeping your daughter at home also help with her mental health do you think, or would it affect it more negatively?
Sending you un-mumsnetty hugs and