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Original poster

Unkindness

35 replies

OpheliasCrayon · 19/09/2020 11:40

Im getting really annoyed at posts at the moment.

I know everyone can say what they want - free speech and all

But a lot of posts I'm seeing are so patronising it's ridiculous. What are people aiming to do ? Make people feel bad for how they feel / think / act?

Where is the kindness people?

'it all boils down to my personal 5 options"

"Why are people scared of covid?"

"Everyone in shops are happy to be there "

"The virus should just be left to do it's thing"

"I don't think you should be scared"

"That one person who didnt use hand sanitizer because they're allergic has now killed everyone"

This is getting stupid.

There is a pandemic. I would take a guess that none of us have lived through one before.

Everyone feels differently to everyone else. Everyone's circumstances are different to everyone else.

Why are so many people posting trying to belittle , do down, make people feel silly?

I know I've just posted saying how I think people are behaving is wrong, so I might get shouted down .....

But I just feel like this is getting a little unkind.

Some people are scared.
Some people are not.
Some people want to go out to work.
Some people don't feel safe.

Come on!! Where's the kindness gone?

I'm not scared in the slightest, I go to work, I'm clinically vulnerable, I've made my choices ....but I wouldn't ever knock someone who has done differently to me ....

Live and let live

OP posts:
Quarantino · 19/09/2020 11:44

Do what i do and don't click on them. I only click on the objective data threads. I am past caring whether a random person on the internet, who may or may not be only posting to wind people up, thinks I should go to Tescos or not.

Learn to identify what information makes a difference to you and how you can go about sourcing that information from a primary source. Eg not opinion threads.

Your life will be much better, promise! Smile

Original poster
OpheliasCrayon · 19/09/2020 11:46

@Quarantino

Do what i do and don't click on them. I only click on the objective data threads. I am past caring whether a random person on the internet, who may or may not be only posting to wind people up, thinks I should go to Tescos or not.

Learn to identify what information makes a difference to you and how you can go about sourcing that information from a primary source. Eg not opinion threads.

Your life will be much better, promise! Smile

They don't bother me - I mean I'm not crying into my pillow at things that I think are not nice.

I'm long last giving fucks (as I've said on another post - my world view is very skewed having lost a child).

It does just astound me that so many people want to judge others. For what?

OP posts:
Original poster
OpheliasCrayon · 19/09/2020 11:46
  • long past. Not last
OP posts:
HeyMacarona · 19/09/2020 11:48

The name calling on the site is appalling and from posters holding themselves out as professionals. Why would anybody feel the need to resort to calling somebody names? Free speech is one thing but it’s often just bullying,

Whatever happened to be kind?

Original poster
OpheliasCrayon · 19/09/2020 11:49

@HeyMacarona

The name calling on the site is appalling and from posters holding themselves out as professionals. Why would anybody feel the need to resort to calling somebody names? Free speech is one thing but it’s often just bullying,

Whatever happened to be kind?

It disappeared on March 23rd or whenever lockdown started
OP posts:
Quarantino · 19/09/2020 11:50

Flowers to you xx
It's how people seem to deal with things, not the way I'd choose, but as you say not something we've been through before.

It's put into sharp relief that there's very little that we as individuals have control over, so the things we do, like choices around masks, going out in public etc, seem bigger to everyone to fill the space.

user1495884620 · 19/09/2020 11:50

Oh the irony!

Original poster
OpheliasCrayon · 19/09/2020 11:52

@user1495884620

Oh the irony!
I did say in my post that I realise that I too am giving my opinion on others. I'm well aware.
OP posts:
dudsville · 19/09/2020 11:55

A new thing for me on threads where there are a lot of nasty comments is to post something as kind and thoughtful as I can rather than attacking the harsh posters or just deleting. But I don't stick around on those threads, I delete after I've posted.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 19/09/2020 11:57

I tend to agree , people seem to be using it as another faux superior crutch to their own self esteem a lot. I saw and commented on a thread that several posters took great delight in puffing up with their own reassurance of how wonderful they were by not only being nasty but effectively accusing the OP of being responsible for increasing everyone elses anxiety.....for asking about something that could not have any possible impact on anyone else.

Honestly it's just the same people who are so very desperately lacking internally they find any external bandwagon to create a false sense of superiority and of course to do that they must ensure there are people less than them for that to work.

Meh leave them to it I say, I can't imagine anything more sould destroying to be that desperately dependant on other peoples validation to feel like an actual person. Mostly they are punishing themselves so no further ire is needed from anyone else.

TheSeedsOfADream · 19/09/2020 12:03

I agree OP.

There are tens of thousands of people who have lost loved ones, statistically some of those people are going to be on MN. So to have to wade through the bile of "they were old so would die soon anyway" and "why should I wear a mask to protect others when there's a 0.0000001% chance of me dying"

The clinically vulnerable, young people with life threatening conditions, people with terminal cancer who are also MNers, having to read "I'm going to kill myself if I have to lockdown to protect the vulnerable again. It's not fair"

Or teachers, having to read they're work shy.

The list of abuse going on on this site at the moment is awful. And I think will get worse. It's always got nasty around elections and big social issues. But never since 2004 when I joined MN has the sheer selfishness been so prevalent.

noblegiraffe · 19/09/2020 12:08

People get more bitter and nasty as the news gets worse and they seek out people to blame, I find.

Johnson talking of second waves and lockdowns has sparked a lot of it. People who are worried about lockdown and looking to blame people being irresponsible for causing it, people who think lockdown is unnecessary and blaming people being hysterical for causing it.

BaitandSwitch · 19/09/2020 12:10

Ophelia, where was your kindness when you had a go at me for my thread where I was praising people who work in shops?

Original poster
OpheliasCrayon · 19/09/2020 12:12

@BaitandSwitch

Ophelia, where was your kindness when you had a go at me for my thread where I was praising people who work in shops?
Read my comments. I felt you were judging them wrongly. How on earth can you say you know how they feel. I felt you were being enormously patronising. Maybe I am now. Who knows. I'm not perfect
OP posts:
BaitandSwitch · 19/09/2020 12:17

Ophelia I wasn't judging anyone in my posts. I don't know how anyone really feels that I interacted with yesterday, all I can go on is impressions. I was trying to be kind to people who work in shops and the sole intention of my post was to demonstrate support and thanks to them. Such a shame that you appear to have misconstrued my motives and were very quick to call me out on it. Kindness indeed.

Original poster
OpheliasCrayon · 19/09/2020 12:25

@BaitandSwitch

Ophelia I wasn't judging anyone in my posts. I don't know how anyone really feels that I interacted with yesterday, all I can go on is impressions. I was trying to be kind to people who work in shops and the sole intention of my post was to demonstrate support and thanks to them. Such a shame that you appear to have misconstrued my motives and were very quick to call me out on it. Kindness indeed.
I can't be bothered to argue any further but to me your post just seemed enormously patronising and not in the least bit kind. But nor am I so here we are.
OP posts:
Rosehip10 · 19/09/2020 12:34

#bekind is only quoted by people who essentially don't like any opinion that isn't the same as theirs.

Topseyt · 19/09/2020 12:50

I totally agree with you, OP.

I no longer give any shits whether people think I should be going down to the shops or needing to visit my increasingly disabled and vulnerable elderly parents. If the need to do it arises then I am quite capable of doing my own risk assessments and getting on with it.

Similarly, if I wish to go out and read my book on a park bench on a beautiful day for a change of scenery then I will. Nor do I criticise anyone else who does or doesn't do anything similar.

I don't like the Covid/Lockdown/Mask Police either. I do wear my mask when and where required but I am not going to challenge anyone who isn't as their reasons are none of my business.

When Boris has appointed his Covid Marshalls we may well have a whole new brigade of busybodies to contend with.

tootyfruitypickle · 19/09/2020 12:53

Agree OP. Have been horrified by some of the threads. Makes me feel so depressed about what this whole situation is doing to society.

motherrunner · 19/09/2020 13:41

@noblegiraffe

People get more bitter and nasty as the news gets worse and they seek out people to blame, I find.

Johnson talking of second waves and lockdowns has sparked a lot of it. People who are worried about lockdown and looking to blame people being irresponsible for causing it, people who think lockdown is unnecessary and blaming people being hysterical for causing it.

@noblegiraffe Insightful as always. Absolutely this.
Original poster
OpheliasCrayon · 19/09/2020 13:42

Yes @noblegiraffe that seems a good summary

OP posts:
cyclingmad · 19/09/2020 23:51

Slowly but surely this forum imo really just shows up the lack of common sense and critical thinking.

I'm not surprised by the comments its getting so tiring to see the most stupidest things being posted like...

'Do you think its okay if I break the rule of 6'

I mean ffs 🙄 why do you need to come on an internet forum and ask that.

These are supposedly functioning adults with children holding down jobs and your literally seeing them ask that ...mind boggles.

PennyDreadfuI · 20/09/2020 08:44

As someone who is exempt from wearing a mask due to an agonising neurological condition, and has been hissed at, shouted at and called a 'filthy pig'/'stinking disease breath' by people in shops/on buses I can 100% confirm that kindness and understanding seem to be in short supply right now.

teta · 20/09/2020 09:01

Unkindness and the blame game are being actively promulgated by this government. Especially more recently. I don't think it was like this in March.
We've been encourage to dob each other in under the rule rule of 6, blamed for covid testing unnecessarily, therefore causing a shortage. Dido Harding is blaming Sage for not predicting the huge demand come september Boris is blaming anyone and everyone for every governmental failure.

Shamrocksunshine · 20/09/2020 09:08

Mumsnet has historically never been a kind place. Anyone remember babyworld? That was nice.....Gin