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Missed youth?

100 replies

mids2019 · 12/09/2020 10:00

Have our young people been denied their youth?

I was thinking of the number of experiences the youth of today are missing compared to the children earlier generations e.g the 60s and 80s.

No parties
No nightclubs
Missed opportunities to socialise
Missed opportunities to form relationships
Disrupted education
A dystopian University experience

When our current 18 year olds look back at their lives at 30 when buried in their careers and childcare will they look back and think....

We really were screwed weren't we?

OP posts:
user1471588124 · 12/09/2020 11:15

It's all well and good saying "pubs and clubs will come again".

These industries, which disproportionately employ young people have collapsed and will take years to return to pre pandemic levels. Never mind other service sector industries were again young people are more affected. There is no grad jobs, there is no hope of travelling, under these new rules I cant even have my boyfriend over because I live in a big house share to save money. It's human nature for young adults to crave socialising and new experiences, not them being selfish.

My generation will be paying for this, literally and figuratively for the rest of our lives. That is becoming harder to swallow as more and more time goes on. The future doesnt seem great right now, I cant see a good job, a house or stable finances being a possibility for many, many years, if ever. It's really not just about wanting to go to clubs.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 12/09/2020 11:19

People saying "it's only 6 months" well it's not though is it. It's nowhere near over and the ramifications are going to be felt for years to come.

mids2019 · 12/09/2020 11:21

I was just reflecting as a 40 year old that many nostalgic conversations with peers were based on events in my late teens and early twenties....Glastonbury, gigs, foreign holidays, attending sports events etc

We are leaving a generation bereft of these experiences and I think there is some danger of our next generation being a little more risk averse and insular.

Young people need to socialise and I hope they do find their way (and not just through SM either)

When extension of social awareness is fundamental to this group what is the effect of rule of 6 going to be?

I think social distancing could be accepted for a couple of months but this could go on for years (?)

OP posts:
dirkdooger · 12/09/2020 11:22

I don't think it's about the number of months but about experiences that won't be regained.

Plus the financial impact will be much longer that 6 months. It took 10 years to recover from the 08 crash & a legacy of that was wage stagnation. And of course other generations are impacted by economic downtowns but the younger generations are impacted heavily.

hopsalong · 12/09/2020 11:26

I also hate the fact that people act as if only the elderly are vulnerable. Plenty if vulnerable people are in their thirties, so should they just die? What about their lives?

People behave like this because, as a general maxim, it's true. What's your evidence for saying that 'plenty' of vulnerable people are in their 30s?

There might be a lot of people in their 30s who were originally told they were vulnerable, and who had to shield. But, as we've learned more about the disease, we've realized that this was incorrect and the majority of these people have been redefined as not especially vulnerable.

In total 221 people in their 30s have died. I wouldn't say that this itself was 'plenty' from a population of 9 million in that age group. But, of course, some of these people will have been tragically unlucky, exposed to unusually high viral loads, or given bad treatment (eg unnecessary ventilation) at the beginning of the pandemic. The majority of them would not have been defined as vulnerable before they turned out to be.

Antibody studies show that about 5% of the UK population has been infected. In reality, then number will be higher because some people make immeasurably low levels of antibodies or had covid a while ago and the antibodies have declined. Probably 5-10% of the population has been exposed. (In London, it must be much higher given that antibodies were running at 16-17% at one point.)

The deaths that we've had don't represent a fair sampling of the 30s population. Some of those people will indeed have been very sick already, caught the virus in hospital etc. But say for the point of argument that the disease is just as lethal to the remaining 90% of the population as the 10% already exposed. That means that we could be looking at about 3000 deaths among people in their 30s, if every single person in the UK was exposed (itself very unlikely to happen). Most of those people wouldn't be understood before becoming ill as vulnerable.

If you're in your 30s, you're extremely unlikely to die of covid even if you have one or several comorbidities. Period.

You are, however, at high risk of losing your job, failing to pay your mortgage, being unable to manage the demands of childcare and work, or getting another illness which kills you after being poorly treated by the NHS. You're also at fairly high risk for mental health problems, addiction, and lifelong health conditions (like type 2 diabetes) that will mess up your long term happiness. So if you want to worry about 30-somethings, worry about all of that!

midgebabe · 12/09/2020 11:27

I guess as a young person I didn't have all the stuff you reminisce about. Having worked hard and saved for decades to get to a stage where I could travel, party or festivals, the opportunity is taken away. And I sort of feel the young people will have opportunities in the future and I'll be dead instead

The80sweregreat · 12/09/2020 11:30

Worldwide over, I couldn't agree more.
Eldest has been saving up forever and still can't buy a place on his own. Has a normal job and told ' your lucky to have one' ! We live in the south east and house prices are huge compared to when I was his age.
Ds2 starred a new job after being made redundant at Christmas. Started in February and now wfh. He hasn't been anywhere really for months as his friends are also wfh and seem reluctant to really go anywhere! His a bit fed up , but cracking on with it all and pleased he found work before lockdown. He'll probably never own a place either. On your own it's impossible unless you inherit or win the lottery. He also has student debts. One of his friends has a mortgage with his g/f but her mum gave them the deposit!
They pay into pensions which won't be worth much in 40 odd years time I bet. (If they are still going ! )
Compared to my dh who has a work pension and we have a house ( it's only small , but it does ) we have had it relatively easier on comparison even though he had mortgage rates at 15 percent once in the 90s and negative equity! It still felt easier to get on and buy something together with normal jobs and finally get a slightly bigger place over time.
We also used to go out now and again!
It felt a drag at the time paying a mortgage etc but compared to today's young it was a lot better than they have it. At least we could buy something! My two moan a bit , but they don't know much different so they tend to get on with it , but I feel guilty and think it's all a bit shit for them to be honest and covid hadn't helped matters one bit.
A few of my friends are the same with their kids and only one or two have managed to buy something. Luckily they can live with us and not homeless!
No wonder depression and mental heath concerns amongst the young is so high.

rorosemary · 12/09/2020 11:30

@TempsPerdu

There used to be conscription, wars, stuff like that. It used to be normal to "lose" part of your life for the good of the whole

Ha, not in the recent past it wasn’t. My dad is 81 and his ‘National Service for the good of the whole’ was mostly spent on a giraffe safari in Kenya. He had a whale of a time. He also walked out of grammar school with no qualifications to his name into a lucrative City job, as did many of his working class peers.

There seems to be a sizeable chunk of the older population who seem to be willing this generation to have a miserable, wasted youth in the name of developing that Holy Grail, ‘resilience’. I have no idea why - bitterness is the only reason I can come up with.

Whereas where I am in Europe most of my 40 something friends, colleagues and exes have spent a year in the army.
user1471588124 · 12/09/2020 11:30

@midgebabe

I guess as a young person I didn't have all the stuff you reminisce about. Having worked hard and saved for decades to get to a stage where I could travel, party or festivals, the opportunity is taken away. And I sort of feel the young people will have opportunities in the future and I'll be dead instead
Don't be jealous, young people won't have the opportunity to work hard and save. There'll be no jobs and the ones that there are will barely be enough to survive off, let alone save.
movingonup20 · 12/09/2020 11:35

It really depends upon how much longer this lasts - if the vaccines start to be approved this year (lets be optimistic) it will be one year of restrictions basically. The far more important question is the long term impact on our lives regarding the financial fallout - that is the potential legacy for our kids. Not going clubbing for one year really won't ruin their lives, not getting a decent job because their education was disrupted and no internships were available could be lifelong

zafferana · 12/09/2020 11:36

This is a global pandemic OP. They're not being screwed by 'us', they're being screwed by a horrible situation that is literally screwing up everyone's life at the moment. I do really feel for young people and I particularly feel for school and higher education leavers whose job opportunities have suddenly disappeared, but what could anyone have reasonably done about that? There is a virus rampaging around the globe that has so far killed about 900k people. If we'd all carried on as before, so that young people could go to work and have their gap years, that number would be considerably higher.

hopsalong · 12/09/2020 11:37

Sometimes I worry that the social activities of being young (clubs, holidays, festivals etc) which aren't just highlights but, for many of us, the experiences on which future relationships, marriages etc are based, will simply never come again in the same way.

The generation most affected by the pandemic is also the first generation to have grown up with an iPhone in their hand. I teach at a university and have noticed an extraordinary amount of change in the patterns of student life in the last 5 years. Mental health problems are rife. Far fewer students seem to be in sexual relationships. They go out less. I worry in dystopian moment that the pandemic is going to be the tipping point that turns humans all into unhappy post-humans coded in Silicon Valley.

midgebabe · 12/09/2020 11:38

Yet the generation that grew up after the war saw their lives improve decade after decade ...

They have the opportunity , their lives will still be ahead of them, they will have learnt far more than a youth of partying would have given them.

googyy · 12/09/2020 11:39

Whereas where I am in Europe most of my 40 something friends, colleagues and exes have spent a year in the army.

My parents are immigrants. In their country poverty is the norm & life expectancy is short. What's your point? Plenty of people around the globe live on pennies & never have a "good" part of their lives. Should we all aim for that?

TheKeatingFive · 12/09/2020 11:41

Totally agree OP. They have been made to shoulder so much for a virus that doesn’t affect them that badly.

And they’ll also be bearing the cost for decades (while the triple lock beneficiaries sit in their valuable houses and have barely been affected financially).

googyy · 12/09/2020 11:43

I'm in my 30s, was born in the 80s & partied hard. The younger generations already don't "party" like previous generations. Hence why so many clubs & pubs have closed.

Polkasquare · 12/09/2020 11:44

No

PennyDreadfuI · 12/09/2020 11:44

It's not their whole youth, it's one year

Well, it's not, is it. If you think this will all be over by March next year you're being incredibly optimistic.

Also, for many it's a year which will shape the rest of their lives - many will have missed exams and other opportunities. DD lost her job at the start of lockdown - she graduated with a first this year (no graduation ceremony, obviously) and had planned to start a master's around now. Without her job she can't afford to. And she can't find another job, however hard she tries. She's just gone on UC.

It's not just the partying/socialising side of things they've missed out on.

BabyLlamaZen · 12/09/2020 11:45

Yes.
And?
They'll be OK. Confused Good grief, do you not know what most teenagers around the world go through? Poverty, child marriage, child labour. They are literally asked to stay safe inside and watch TV whilst the adults risk their lives during a pandemic.

It socks but they will be OK.

BabyLlamaZen · 12/09/2020 11:47

*sucks

Children need to be supported to deal with their mental health and get through this. Doesn't mean we should all go blazing into nightclubs so they can get their fix of being an idiotic teenager.

PennyDreadfuI · 12/09/2020 11:47

@googyy

I'm in my 30s, was born in the 80s & partied hard. The younger generations already don't "party" like previous generations. Hence why so many clubs & pubs have closed.
This is true.

DD and her friends are all teetotal. She's never been to a club and has no desire to. And she's not a solitary bookish loner type, either. Young people don't seem to have any interest in spaffing hundreds of pounds up the wall on booze and nights out - possibly because they see their parents tucking into the gin (guilty as charged) and as everyone knows, being like your parents is very uncool Grin

MsTSwift · 12/09/2020 11:48

Agree but humans are smart and find their way round things hence our dominance. They will find ways to do things differently to previous generations

forgty · 12/09/2020 11:48

I agree OP.

My aunt who spent lockdown in her £2m house & spent 2 months over the Summer abroad in her holiday home (where she was out eating/sightseeing regularly) is disgusted she is having to self isolate on her return because of the "selfish youth" & has no plans to stick to the rules. 😒

PuzzledObserver · 12/09/2020 11:51

Both my parents were children during the second world war - Dad was 13 when it finished, Mum was 10. I'm pretty sure they missed out on a lot.

Bad stuff happens, life is not fair. The question is how we minimise the impact.

rorosemary · 12/09/2020 11:53

@googyy

Whereas where I am in Europe most of my 40 something friends, colleagues and exes have spent a year in the army.

My parents are immigrants. In their country poverty is the norm & life expectancy is short. What's your point? Plenty of people around the globe live on pennies & never have a "good" part of their lives. Should we all aim for that?

My point is that their lives aren't lost and ruined by having to do what is said for 1 year.
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