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Original poster

Help! Clarification needed!!

42 replies

MrsWarleggan · 11/09/2020 17:49

Have a large house booked for 2nd Oct for 11 people.

9 are from 3 separate houses (support bubble) but are family. 2 are from a separate house.

Under current rules can we go ahead with the booking?

Are we

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 11/09/2020 19:17

The thing that frustrates me the most is that yes, to guidelines/law I can't be with my family at one time (the 9 family bubble was created, against guidelines, in April after my 83 year old nanny died in a care home alone from covid. We wanted to be together. End of) Yet, I have been told that I can sit on a bus with x amount of random people for 2 hours at a time to go to work, and that it's safe for DD to go to school and mix with 30 other kids.

I can't be the only person to think this is madness???

OP posts:
dollypartonscoat · 11/09/2020 19:52

You can't have a 3 household bubble. You also can't have the other household joining that made up bubble

LadyCatStark · 11/09/2020 20:10

3 households are not a bubble. So no you can’t go.

Lougle · 11/09/2020 20:16

I just can't understand how you thought that a 3 household, 9 person bubble was ever ok? If you deliberately did that, against guidelines, then why would this law change stop you?

It makes me so cross that I can't take my family to my parent's house from Monday, because people couldn't follow the guidelines, so they've had to bring in a stricter law.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 11/09/2020 20:26

@Lougle

I have already said we went against guidelines. My nan died and we wanted to be together. Shoot me if you want. Tell me that if someone that close to you had died you wouldn't want to be with your family. Can you?

OP posts:
Lougle · 11/09/2020 20:28

[quote MrsWarleggan]@Lougle

I have already said we went against guidelines. My nan died and we wanted to be together. Shoot me if you want. Tell me that if someone that close to you had died you wouldn't want to be with your family. Can you?[/quote]
Well, yes, wanting to be together is one thing when a loved one dies, but to call it a 'support bubble' now? No, it's just breaking the rules. IMO.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 11/09/2020 20:29

[quote Lemons1571]@Dadnotamum72 Ah I’ve just remembered, there is specific guidance on relationships where the couple live in different households. It applies from Monday. Sorry can’t link but the extract from gov UK (it’s part of FAQ) is below:

2.13 Can I see my partner / boyfriend / girlfriend if I do not live with them? Do we have to socially distance?
Yes. People in an established relationship do not need to socially distance. If in the early stages of a relationship, you should take particular care to follow the guidance on social distancing. If you intend to have close contact with someone, you should discuss how you can help to prevent risks of transmission as a couple, for example, by ensuring you are both avoiding close contact with people you do not live with.[/quote]
Well that got lost amongst all the fuss about the rule of 6! I was on a thread on here when in full lockdown about whether people in living apart relationships were still seeing their partners. Some were, lots weren't. Many of us were able to see our DPs again properly when support bubbles were introduced, and am pretty sure most others probably gave up waiting for the government to "allow" them to get closer than 2m and broke the guidelines. I actually can't believe the government has finally acknowledged people in such relationships and said they don't have to socially distance!

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 11/09/2020 20:34

@Lougle

Well it's been our way of dealing with seeing a mother/grandmother/great grandmother take her last breath over Facetime. We carried on as our 9 and stayed as our 9 since April.

We haven't been going to raves, having BBQs with the village, going to pubs getting pissed, seeing and cuddling multiple people.

OP posts:
MissPoldark · 11/09/2020 20:44

I’m not really sure why you started the thread tbh as you already seem to have decided the answer to your own question.

It’s not permitted under current or previous guidance. Are you sure you’re wanting clarification as it appears you’re being defensive when that is offered.

Lougle · 11/09/2020 20:46

@MrsWarleggan we all make our own choices. I think it's selfish to break the guidelines, because everyone has their own reasons for doing it, but it's what has plunged the rest of us in to even tighter restrictions. Now, I can't take my family to see my vulnerable parents because we make a group of 7. I'll have to leave DD2 or DH behind. We can't have dinner together. Call it a support bubble, but it's not.

MissPoldark · 11/09/2020 20:49

My Ross is just leaving Nampara, he’ll sort you Warleggans out Grin

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 11/09/2020 20:49

@MissPoldark

Nice name by the way!!

No absolutely happy with the majority of the advice. We've been a 9 for so long it's never felt like we were doing anything "wrong". But to go with the other household, yes agree and we have now cancelled the booking.

OP posts:
SarahMused · 11/09/2020 20:55

The guidance has been published but not the actual law yet. They might be the same but they haven’t been so far. Probably won’t come out till last thing on Sunday.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 11/09/2020 20:56

@Lougle

I actually started a thread when my nan passed away asking the exact same people whether IWBU to go to my family. The majority said "Go be with your family" and that was at the height of lockdown. Funny how people's opinions change.

OP posts:
RichardMarxisinnocent · 11/09/2020 21:31

[quote MrsWarleggan]@Lougle

I actually started a thread when my nan passed away asking the exact same people whether IWBU to go to my family. The majority said "Go be with your family" and that was at the height of lockdown. Funny how people's opinions change.[/quote]
I don't think opinions have changed. I think most people would have completely understood that a family might want to meet without social distancing in the aftermath of a bereavement, and would have said to do it. But they wouldn't have expected you to still not be socially distancing from each other months later.

Things are very different now to how they were in April. In April there were no bars, restaurants, holiday accommodation etc open. There was nowhere for people to socialise, we weren't allowed to meet anyone from outside our own households. So there would have been zero contacts for you and your family outside of your family group. Now, you are able to meet up with multiple others outside the group, so there are many more potential contacts.

Lougle · 11/09/2020 21:35

@MrsWarleggan exactly as @RichardMarxisinnocent says. At the acute moment of your crisis - that's meeting the needs of a vulnerable person. Absolutely understandable. But now? No. That's not a support bubble, or meeting the needs of a vulnerable person. It's just making a decision that you don't need to follow the rules and your 'wanting to be together' is more important than anyone else who has been following the rules, patiently waiting for lock down to ease further.

OldQueen1969 · 11/09/2020 22:24

Nothing constructive to add but sheesh, it's like trying to live in a Venn Diagram...... commiserations OP x

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