More worried about self isolating than actually getting the virus

[Frazzled2207]

I shall start by saying I closely follow all the rules and since the children have gone back to school we're not really seeing anyone except children from school (who they are seeing anyway) and my parents/MIL. We are keeping a distance from the latter but they are adamant that they want to keep seeing the DC and totally accept the potential risks

I am not particularly worried about my children getting the virus as everything suggests they will probably get it quite mildy. I accept me and DH could get it too which could be unpleasant. Obviously if we are exposed to it we will be staying at home. I am however very worried about the impact of self isolation. I am self employed and my business basically died a death in march and right now is beginning to see a bit of an uptick (apols for the awful phrase). But I'm expecting the children to be sent home for 2 weeks at any moment which will be a disaster for them and for my business - husband is lucky enough to have a relatively safe and ok-ish paid job for now so it's very important to prioritise his ability to work. We are in GM where close to 60 schools have sent year groups home already so only a matter of time as the HT told me again this morning. If it's my children not me I know I won't have to isolate only the children but keeping them in for 2 weeks is going to be awful - far worse than the worst part of lockdown and we didn't manage very well at all with home-school (they are young primary age). And even though I am mentally prepared to do it once it could happen again and again and again until some time next year. My friends in RL seem to be fairly 'meh' about it but I'm really worried about the impact on my (and the children's) mental health at a time where it looked for a while like some kind of normality might be restored. I feel I can't plan anything more than 2 days away at the moment which for my business is extremely hard.

I'm not sure what the answer is. Though obviously some kind of mass regular testing if it ever happens will help. I just feel so down about all the uncertainty and I really feel that everyone's mental health has been disregarded in all this. It's a similar situation for everyone though - especially those with kids - and I wonder if everyone else is just able to 'park' their worries and just take a day as it comes. I have been trying to do this but just can't. Do I just need to get a grip?

I hear you and sending you a hug - the uncertainty it crap isn't it? I'm about to start a new job (much needed after DH's redundancy) and I live i fear of the call from the contact tracing people that I need to isolate for 2 week. An 03 number called my mobile this morning and my blood ran cold..... only to find out it was Three trying to offer me some bloody upgrade deal!
Your situation is so difficult and unfair, thinking of you and the so many women in a similarly shit position

My partner is self employed and I hear you. We are in an area where cases are rising rapidly and my SIL has already been sent home from school to isolate. We are trying to do everything to keep our risk down. But feel it is just a matter of time...

No you don't need to get a grip, your fears are totally understandable and warranted. In the pointless, never ending pursuit of 'safety' people are being asked to tolerate ridiculous, meaningless situations. Your reaction is normal IMO. It's the people who are all in favour of it that need to get a grip.

Self employed single mum of two, hearing every word and totally agreeing. Lockdown means I lose my income and I don't speak to an adult for months on end. I have zero support.

In the pointless, never ending pursuit of 'safety' people are being asked to tolerate ridiculous, meaningless situations

Absolutely this..I couldn't put it better.

Agree with it all, the though of the upcoming months fills me with so much dread, more so than how I felt in March

I feel similarly although my DC are slightly older. The thought that it could happen multiple times (with or without getting the virus) is scary in itself and I dont know how we would keep work afloat.

I feel the same. I cannot work from home in my job so if we have to isolate I won't get paid any time I'm off. My income is the only income as I'm a single parent. I'm even more terrified of school closing again, I don't know what I'd do.

Hearing you and feeling the same way. Feels worse than march because the winter months in lockdown in the Highlands with a toddler would be even worse than I can bear to think about right now. Trying to be kind to myself, not go on social media to see everyone give their kids the social interaction it's growing ever harder for me to give mine right now, and limiting my news intake again- not to bury my head in the sand but because for me it's not healthy to constantly monitor what's happening but take each day as it comes and get through (even try and enjoy!) them! Sending and !!

Yes, I feel the same. We are choosing to stay out of shops, restaurants etc because I don't want to get caught up in track and trace. The first lockdown did a number on my mental health and any sort of a second will see me sinking again.

Just re-read your post and it sounds like I'm saying I can just park my worries and take each day as it comes- when I can't- just today I had a big cry in car as DD dozed- just trying to park them iyswim

SELFISH ENTITLED SELFISH WAHHHHH HOW DARE YOU THINK FOR YOURSELF YOU ACTUAL MURDERER!!!!!

Just getting this in there to save the usual suspects a job OP.

I hear you and agree.

I hear you OP. We've had a few restaurants and pubs had to close in my area this last week. I was supposed to be going out with friends for a meal this evening but we've cancelled it. I'm not scared of catching the virus but I am scared of there being a confirmed case somewhere I've been and having to self isolate for 14 days!

If your DC get sent home from school to self-isolate, it will be 2 weeks out of their lives where they aren't allowed outdoors. Please help them by building up their resilience. There will be many times in their lives when they have to draw on their inner resources and one of the best things you can do, as a parent, is help them build resilience:
www.apa.org/topics/resilience-guide-parents

www.psycom.net/build-resilience-children

I'm currently self isolating as my bubble has closed. It's not good. This is how it will be all winter.

Get in plenty of activities for the kids in advance, is all I can suggest.

I think the school self-isolation rules are guidance rather than law aren’t they (unlike the travel quarantine rules which are law), so although I would keep my children away from other children if their year group closes, I won’t be locking them up indoors. Their year groups are 300, so likely to close at some point. I guess childcare will be an issue if you don’t wfh, but I do think the need to separate guidelines from law is key if you are trying to keep your mental health and livelihood intact.

Completely agree.

We have livestock and come what may we have to look after them. We have to have 3 staff in a day. We have 6. I'm terrified that we get it. Not because I'm scared of kids being home for two weeks or of getting it. I'm really really scared about how we'd cope staff wise. Because we'd have to.

This uncertainty is really doing a number on my mental health. Sympathies OP. It's just really shit and I have no answers.

I agree it is horrendous. I am an NHS clinican, my DH is a teacher. We both have to go out to work. Thankfully my DC are older (youngest is 12) so can be left alone, but I am still stressing about them being off. For example DD told me today at 7am one of her year had tested positive. So there I am, waiting for the phonecall from school expecting to have to pick her up, but also neededing to be at work etc...(thankfully this turned out to be an unsubstantiated rumour, but it is only a matter of time)
The things that are slightly helping is trying to be organised as I can. So for example I have stocked up on printer ink and stationary this time round, tidied and organised the house better, made sure I have booked shopping dleivery slots ahead where possible. I'm also making an effort to take some time out each day to not think about it. Reading is great for me, but anything thast helps distract you would help.

Thanks so much for these stories am so pleased to hear it’s not just me.
@mosscarpet I totally agree with that and go from one Netflix series to the next and go running while still allowed.
With having more time on my hands i’m reading news sites far too much- I think looking for any signs of hope- but it’s very easy to get completely obsessed with all the numbers etc. I want to be informed on one level but if things are worsening once again I feel I need to be prepared, yet perhaps just taking it one day as it comes (not that able to) would be far healthier.

Others just seem to be going to work as normal, I suppose have a “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it” attitude- I’m jealous in a way as if you have a job you just have to get on with it - very difficult when you’re self employed and trying to set up contracts that you’ve got no idea you’ll be able to fulfill.

I totally agree with you - in fact my DD has a temperature earlier in the week so I had to get her tested, and I realised that I wasn’t actually that worried about the possible impact of the virus on her or the rest of the household (none of us are vulnerable), but more concerned about having to self isolate and be responsible for closing her class for two weeks. That makes me sound like and awful parent but it was how I felt!

@ceeveebee
Yes a few weeks ago I had to get ds tested and I was so worried about having to cancel our much wanted uk holiday - and his birthday mini-party- if it was positive. Far more so than him actually having the virus. Luckily it was negative but seems wrong to me that my priorities seem all skewed.

At least up to this week it was broadly in my hands-
Now they’re back at school (which given the alternative is by far the better choice) who knows what will happen. Just one kid in the bubble gets it and -bam!- most likely 60 kids and their families are going to have a very difficult fortnight

I hear in France they are reducing self isolation to one week not two as the risk is so much reduced after a week. That would make the angst more bearable if they did that here.

I think you are completely justified in feeling like this. I have a paid job and I am still stressed, it must be so much more stressful being self-employed.
DD woke with a cold this morning, typical snotty nose etc. I did keep her off school but as she didn’t have the official symptoms of Covid haven’t been for a test. I have spent the whole day feeling anxious - not so much about us all getting Covid, but about two weeks of isolation. My eldest has literally been back to school for 1 day and it did her the world of good, I am dreading being told we have to isolate.

And I know I am going to feel like this every time one of us gets a cold.... All this uncertainty is so stressful and draining. It feels like a long winter ahead.

This might be completely unhelpful as I am sure you have thought of everything, but is there anything you can do re the business to prepare. Is there anyone who can cover for you, or a similar business where you could agree to cover for each other if one has to isolate?