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Original poster

Birthday party WWYD?

93 replies

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 11/09/2020 06:23

DS is 7 on Tuesday. Party planned for Saturday 19th - we're having an outdoor picnic and some games. DS has invited five friends - all of them are in his class at school and therefore he's inside with all of them 6 hours a day every week day.

I am planning to still hold the party but I will stay inside with the bi-fold doors open and keep at least a 2 metre distance from DS's friends (apart from in an emergency obv). What do you think? I am a natural rule follower, but given these kids are already bubbled, it just seems so unnecessary to cancel the party.

OP posts:
Minimumstandard · 11/09/2020 07:50

There are ways of doing this to avoid it being illegal. If it's only the six of them in the garden, it should be fine. So set out the food and activities in advance, close the doors and shout instructions for the games out the window. You could make a joke of it. They're 6/7 so old enough to get on with it with a bit of (socially distanced) supervision. Have DS come inside by himself to blow out the candles on his cake and the others can sing from outside and maybe have a second cake (that hasn't been blown on Confused) to cut up for the kids.

HumousWhereTheHeartIs · 11/09/2020 08:10

It depends where you live. This is allowed in Scotland

RummidgeGeneral · 11/09/2020 08:16

I would go ahead and I'm a person who generally follows the rules.

ElanaD · 11/09/2020 08:16

Personally I wouldn't but I also don't judge you at all if you decide to go ahead. They all mix together at school anyways and this party isn't going to hurt anything. If the parents are ok with it then I think it's fine but for my own son I said he can invite 1 friend over pizza, cake & a movie for his Bday (we are a family or 5).

Littlebelina · 11/09/2020 08:22

You could always charge them a quid each and pretend it's a youth group (joking of course)

notevenat20 · 11/09/2020 08:35

There are ways of doing this to avoid it being illegal. If it's only the six of them in the garden, it should be fine.

That is illegal I am afraid. At most six people within the bounds of your property.

greenlynx · 11/09/2020 08:40

It will be difficult to exclude 1 child or rearrange them in 2 parties. I’m not doing parties at all atm and still wiping some groceries but I would go ahead in your situation because they are in the same class anyway. Maybe you should ask 1 or 2 parents to pick up 5-10 minutes later to space them out and buy yourself a funny face mask to cheer kids up.

Forgone90 · 11/09/2020 08:43

It really depends what you are asking here. If it is about the risk then no the risk does not increase. If it’s about the legal side then yes you are breaking the law and could do nothing if you were given a fine for holding this party.

All I would say is if one, of the children came down with the virus (whether it’s to do with your party or not) you will most likely get the blame for holding this party. I wouldn’t want to be in that position. Especially with today’s people constantly naming and shaming people for breaking the rules.

Imagine being that parent, where the whole school bubble had to isolate because she threw an illegal party for 6 of the kids (this may not be how they got the virus because I bet you would become the scapegoat)... it’s just not worth the risk to be honest.

SqidgeBum · 11/09/2020 08:47

I would probably do it, but it is technically illegal (which is just purely illogical). Common sense will tell you that there is no more risk with them coming on a Saturday to your house compared to being in class all week together.

I would cross your fingers and hope some nosy neighbour who is a stickler for 'the law is the law' doesnt report you (which is a sickening and Orwellian part of our society now).

notevenat20 · 11/09/2020 08:48

Common sense will tell you that there is no more risk with them coming on a Saturday to your house compared to being in class all week together.

The extra risk is from the parents I think.

Tamtam86 · 11/09/2020 08:53

I definitely wouldn't cancel, and I'd happily send my child to a friend's party in these circumstances

SqidgeBum · 11/09/2020 09:22

@notevenat20

Common sense will tell you that there is no more risk with them coming on a Saturday to your house compared to being in class all week together.

The extra risk is from the parents I think.

But the parents arent staying, and also whatever the parents have they have already passed to the kids, and the kids have been together 8 hours a day for the past 5 days, so the parents pose no more risk than the kid.
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 11/09/2020 09:26

It’s against the law and they still need to socially distance regardless of the school situation or being outdoors.

notevenat20 · 11/09/2020 10:10

But the parents arent staying, and also whatever the parents have they have already passed to the kids

It seems that adult to adult transmission is much more frequent than child to adult. That's why the parents add an extra risk.

SqidgeBum · 11/09/2020 10:44

@notevenat20

But the parents arent staying, and also whatever the parents have they have already passed to the kids

It seems that adult to adult transmission is much more frequent than child to adult. That's why the parents add an extra risk.

...... but the parents arent staying ..... they drop the kid at the door and leave. There is more risk passing someone in morrisons.
notevenat20 · 11/09/2020 11:09

Would that be the same for pick up?

RedskyAtnight · 11/09/2020 11:14

That is illegal I am afraid. At most six people within the bounds of your property.

Can you tell me where you've got that information from? I can't find a definition anywhere.

SqidgeBum · 11/09/2020 12:03

@notevenat20 ye of course. You pick them up at the door or in the garden, the same as a pick up from school.

Lucindainthesky · 11/09/2020 12:08

So at what point do people think that this breaking of the law would be significant then? If not a gathering of 7, what about 8? 9? 10?

Serious question

MrsTravers · 11/09/2020 12:11

We have this problem with DS's birthday on 21st - we're a household of 6, which means we can't have anyone over and it will be very obvious if we do.

I heard about the rule change on Weds so have scrambled together an outside tea party for this Sunday. Only 3 friends, as one can't make the revised date, but we've managed to sort a small bouncy castle and, despite only turning 5, he's reasonably understanding. Had to do very similar for his older brother in March when it became clear we were heading for school closure and lockdown. We'll do a family day out next weekend.

Can you do similar? Weather is with us for this weekend, which is a help. It's been a bit of a rush (not helped by children being off poorly half the week) but we've managed it and he's really looking forward to it now.

I appreciate your position re risk/bubbles etc - we're in the same position but I just didn't want to break the rules. My decision influenced by older neighbours, though, who have been shielding - it would have felt very disrespectful to them to have extra children in the garden.

LolaSmiles · 11/09/2020 12:15

I'm a rule follower, but on this I can't see how the any higher risk than them all being in a classroom 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. If anything, the garden is a much lower risk environment.

You can't use this as a defence if you're caught, but it sure is a sign that the government aren't thinking properly when it comes to this sudden change.

One of my friends summed it up perfectly. The new rules are 'only gather with others in a way that is makes money or necessary for others to make money'.

lunar1 · 11/09/2020 12:17

They will mix with your family if they need to come inside for the toilet. There are well over 6 people using the facilities of your property, saying there will only be the children in the garden is just looking for a loophole.

palacegirl77 · 11/09/2020 12:22

Can the parents drop to the garden and pick up without coming into the house? Do you have an outdoor toilet? If the kids need to wash their hands before they eat (which they should!) can they do this without coming into your kitchen? Likelihood is that youre going to break the law (not saying I agree with it, but it will be the law).

If it was me - I would ring each parent and say youve rearranged if for this Sunday. Explain why - if this causes some to drop out, problem solved and if not at least you can enjoy it!

MrsTravers · 11/09/2020 12:51

@LolaSmiles
"One of my friends summed it up perfectly. The new rules are 'only gather with others in a way that is makes money or necessary for others to make money'."

In fairness, I think the most effective way of stopping this would be for absolutely everyone to stay at home for a month, but obviously that can't happen. So I guess the rationale has to be to limit gatherings as much as possible to those which benefit the wider community, be that economic, health (such as exercise classes, which also convey economic benefit) or educational (schools). Plenty of things which would have a wider benefit (theatres etc) are still very limited.

If we don't allow people to make money, we will all have to support them. And make up the shortfall in funding for public services too.

I'm not entirely thrilled about not being able to have anyone at all over after Monday, but I'm prepared to put up with it to keep those wider benefits (particularly schools!!!).

AmelieTaylor · 11/09/2020 13:02

I've been exceedingly careful since early March & I'm one of the nutters washing my groceries, not eating out & not visiting/having visitors.

I'm also pretty pushed off with people saying they're just going to ignore this new law

However one additional 7 yo is not going to have the police bashing your door down. You're taking more precautions than the same group of parents/kids take M-F. You have told all the parents, they're still keen.

I'd go ahead (well clearly I wouldn't as I wouldn't have been Inviting them in the first place!), but I wouldn't cancel in your situation

I'd be tempted to send the older kids out & keep DH at home to sort out all the games & stuff!!

Hope DS has a great time!